Page 92 of No Going Back

“Yeah, we all saw it. But he was fine on the op. Jesus. The woman Tyler loves is down there. Of course, that’s going to push him over the edge. If it were Sophie or Kelly, we would be no different. Do you remember how you felt when Kelly was captured? Because I sure as hell remember how I felt when Sophie was taken. You need to give the guy a break and get yourself under control. If you can’t, tell me now and go home. I can handle this.”

If anyone else had talked to him like that, Dex would have exploded. Not with Ryan. Ryan knew when to step up and make him listen. That's why he was his best friend and number two on the team.

“I am under control,” Dex said more calmly. “And I hear you about Tyler. Although he keeps telling me there’s nothing between them.”

“He might have been trying to deny it, but I think we’ve all just seen that there is something between them.”

Dex sighed. “Yeah, I know. He’s right about Reborn, though. Reborn have gotten away with too much. If anyone can find them, we can. Like he said. We should have done it a long time ago.”

“We can’t go back and change the past. But this is not a situation we can go and handle off-record. Let’s get through today, and then we’ll talk. Promise me you’re not going to fucking disappear and do something stupid. If we do this, we do it as a team, and we do it the right way when you have your head on straight.”

“Hey, guys, Sam’s alive!”

Both men turned at Steve’s shout and walked back to the pulley. Neither of them had heard the rope lift again. The other rescue team guy was climbing out.

“Your boss is one stubborn son of a bitch.”

“But he’s alive? Is he hurt?” Dex asked.

“A few scrapes, but yeah, he’s good. Refuses to come up until they find everyone. He and Max are doing a final look around for the last prisoner. Max ordered me up.”

Ryan grinned at Dex. “And I thought you were the stubborn ass.” The guys physically relaxed, relieved at the news.

“Leave no man behind.” Dex shook his head. That was Sam. Once a SEAL always a SEAL.

***

WOULD THE WAITING EVER fucking stop? Waiting to get to the bomb site, waiting for news on Sam and Mira, waiting for the rescue team to find them, waiting for Mackie to get the cellular repeater in place, waiting for Mira to breathe, waiting for Max to find them again, waiting for the damn pulley... Now, here he was in the hospital. Waiting again. Waiting was not a skill Tyler was good at.

He paced while Mackie and Kelly sat quietly watching him. They’d both thankfully given up on small talk an hour ago. He wished they were at Westside, the base hospital, but Mira’s condition meant they needed the closest ER. Mira was still breathing when they rushed her into surgery, but since then, there had been no news.

God, he was so damn tired of waiting.

The door to the room opened and Sam walked in. Dex and the rest of Raven were on his heels, Nyx led by Dale behind them. Kelly jumped up and hugged Sam. Dex had called to let them know he was alive, but it was good to see him here in person, with barely a scratch on him.

“It’s good to see you topside, Sam,” Tyler said when Sam stopped in front of him.

“Any news?” Sam asked.

“She’s still in surgery. That’s all we know.” Tyler looked past Sam to Dale. “Your agent is down the hall, he’s going to be fine. The rescue team guys, too.”

Dale nodded. “That’s good to hear. I’m going to go check on the rest of my people that are here. Let me know if there’s news.”

The teams settled into the room, prepared to wait however long it took for news on Mira. Tyler leaned against the wall, rested his head back and closed his eyes. Everyone in this room cared about Mira, loved her in their own way. She was family. His feelings for her were different. Jeez, he’d told Claire he wanted to be able to love and be loved. Well, hell, maybe he could love, because the feeling he had in his heart right now was new to him. His heart literally ached. It scared the fucking crap out of him. He’d never felt this way about anyone. He loved his teammates, but this, with Mira, he couldn’t even describe it. An overwhelmingly strong need to protect her, make her happy, make her his. But that wasn’t an option, however much he wanted it to be. He didn’t do relationships. Love brought disappointment, death and pain. Hadn’t today just proved that?

He had thought his past was behind him. He thought he’d changed. But nothing had changed. His reaction today. The angry, defensive man he used to be was still there inside of him. All the fears, insecurities and disappointment had come flooding back. Love was not something he was meant to have. All those foster families had rejected him. Not being able to save his mom or Allan. He had let Mira get close; now look what happened. Maybe what he was feeling for her was love, but that wasn’t enough. She was fighting for her life. He’d loved his mom and Allan, and they both died in front of him. Caring about people caused pain and he’d experienced enough of that already. If Mira died, he wasn't sure he would ever recover from it. And if she lived? Reborn were still out there. It was only a matter of time before they struck again. What if he couldn’t save her either?

The walls of the room felt like they were closing in. He couldn’t do this. Christ, he needed out of this fucking waiting room. Pushing off the wall, he strode to the door and pulled it open. Mackie called his name as he walked out, but he kept walking.

***

TYLER SAT OUTSIDE THE hospital entrance on a bench, bent forward with his head in his hands. How the fuck had everything gone to shit in a just a few days? His past had come crashing back and was suffocating him. Once again, someone he cared about was fighting for their life. If Mira didn’t make it... He couldn’t get the thought out of his head.

Someone sat beside him and he looked up, surprised and a little irritated to see Sam.

“Sam, you don’t have to keep an eye on me,” he snapped. Hell, could he not be trusted to be alone?

“Wasn’t aware I needed to,” Sam said calmly.

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