Page 21 of No Going Back

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TYLER HAD TO STOP HIMSELF from running after her car. He stood and watched until her taillights disappeared out of sight before going back inside.

His eyes went to the table. God, that hadn’t been sex. He’d had sex plenty of times, but what happened here tonight was different. His feelings were stronger, more intense, and now that she was gone, he felt empty. Hollow. Like she’d taken a part of him with her.

Tyler found a cloth and some disinfectant and cleaned the table. Fuck, he was never going to able to sit around this table without thinking about tonight. Sitting down, he took out his phone.

To say tonight had surprised him would be an understatement. She’d been adamant about being no more than friends. A one-night stand? Yeah, of course he was going to be on board with that. He only had so much self-control. No relationship, no strings. And she agreed. But what now? Was it really a one-time thing? Could they really go back to just being friends, colleagues? He couldn’t ignore what had happened between them tonight, one-time thing or not. It had rocked his fucking world.

Tyler: Hey babe xx I just wanted to make sure you’re OK. Tonight blew my mind.

Hitting send, he waited a few minutes but no reply. He finished cleaning up, then headed toward the cots. He should get some sleep, but somehow, he doubted he was going to get much. His phone vibrated.

Mira: Tonight was amazing. I’ll never forget it. Xx

He swallowed, suddenly feeling emotional. The thought they wouldn’t share that again made him feel... what exactly? It wasn’t just the sex, although that really had blown his mind. Mira was the whole deal. Smart, funny, beautiful, talented, sexy. He loved everything about her.

But he could never love her. Love was dangerous and it got you hurt. Something about him meant people never stayed. Anyone he’d ever cared about, he’d lost. If he let Mira in, how long would it be until he lost her? No, he wouldn’t risk it. The way he was beginning to feel about Mira, hell, the pain would be unbearable. It had to be one time, nothing more. Anything else was just a fantasy.

Chapter 5

Tyler finished his report, leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes. As he expected he hadn’t slept well and was exhausted. He’d tried to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Mira.

Then Raven got the call. The hostage situation had escalated, and HRT were planning to breach before any innocents got killed. Since Onyx worked with various agencies, Raven had trained with HRT and this hostage situation was something they’d practiced several times. However, there were always curveballs and last night had been no exception.

The op had been executed expertly, all hostages were safe and relatively unharmed. The group, however, had not wanted to come quietly. Several refused to surrender and had to be killed in front of the hostages. In front of kids. No one had wanted that to happen. Those kids were never going to be able to erase that from their brains. Tyler knew that only too well.

Raven had regrouped back at the Farm. Sam and Dex chatted in Sam’s office, and the rest of them, like Tyler, were finishing off their reports. It was now five in the afternoon and Tyler wanted to go home to bed. He wanted to try and forget those kids’ faces. This damn op had brought up way too many memories. His phone pinged.

Mira: Hey Ty. I’m just seeing the reports come in. Shit op.

Tyler: It sure was. Are you here at the Farm?

Mira: Yes, I came in after you got the call. Couldn’t sleep.

Tyler paused, a small hopeful smile on his face.

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