Page 63 of Masquerade Mistake

I pause at the door. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Do you love Ethan?”

I take a deep breath in, not sure what to say.

“I think Ethan is a great guy, and I’m glad we both get to be friends with him,” I finally say. I wait for him to ask more questions, but this seems to satisfy him, as the only thing he says next is goodnight.

Chapter 26

Operation woo Ethan is in full effect, starting the very next day. I know Ethan likes football, so I dig into my savings and treat the three of us to a USC game. It’s a bit over my budget, but it’s worth the cost when I see the look on Ethan’s face every time they score a touchdown. Or is it a goal? Whatever. Ethan is in his element, and Finn feeds off his energy, jumping up every time Ethan does. The two of them spend the whole game giving each other high fives and bear hugs. I spend the game trying to not be a sappy girl as I watch my guys have an evening of bro moments.

We end the night at a burger bar, where Ethan and Finn go over the highlights of the game. I realize how much Finn is missing out on by being raised by his bookworm mom. I hardly watch TV, and when I do, it’s sappy love stories or family-friendly movies. It’s never sports. But seeing Finn with Ethan, and the way his eyes gravitate to the highlights recap on the TV in the corner, I realize Finn actually likes stuff like this. I should keep the game on at home. Or, you know, have Ethan over more often.

It’s hard to beat a night of football, but the next night I do my best by suggesting we go to the zoo once Finn is out of school. Finn is in absolute heaven, and it seems that’s enough to make Ethan happy. I make it a point to hang back, letting Ethan take the lead with Finn. But Finn still calls out to me whenever something cool happens.

“Mom, look at the size of that bear!”

“That kangaroo is cute, huh Mom?”

“Oh man, elephants have huge poop! Did you see that, Mom?”

I try to be nonchalant, to let Ethan have more of a spotlight. But as fun as the afternoon is, Finn is more interested in showing me.

“Give him time,” I murmur to Ethan. I get a tight smile in return.

By the end of the night, Finn is happy but exhausted, and Ethan looks ready to go home. I feel like an epic failure.

The next day, I text Ethan to see what he thinks about a day at the park. It’s not exactly a woo-worthy spot, but it’s Finn’s favorite place to play.

Ethan calls me instead of texting back.

“I have a better idea,” he says. “Why don’t I pick Finn up after school, and I’ll plan an afternoon for just the two of us?”

“Without me?” I ask. I hear him sigh, and I know I’m being ridiculous. “But what will you tell him?” I’m grasping at straws here, but I don’t care. “He might think it’s strange to go out with you without me.”

“Maybe,” Ethan says. “Or maybe he’ll think nothing of it at all. Come on, Claire. I’m trying to build a relationship with Finn, but I can’t do it if you’re hanging around.”

My mouth drops open at this. “So, you’re saying I’m a third wheel.”

“Yes,” he says. “Wait, no! I mean… Come on Claire, you know what I meant. I just want Finn and I to get to the place where I can finally tell him that I’m his dad.”

Something about the words hit me differently. All this time, I’ve been dreaming of having the two of them get to this point. But now that we’re here, I feel an ugly, selfish part of me tugging at my mind. The days of just Finn and me are over. Now—forever—I will have to share Finn with someone else.

I brush the feelings aside as soon as they come, forcing a smile even though Ethan can’t see it over the phone.

“Of course,” I say. “It will be good for the two of you to do something without me in the way.”

“You’re not in the way, Claire.”

“No, I know. I just mean that it will be easier for the two of you to bond if you hang out on your own. That’s what you’re saying, right?”

“Yes?”

I force a laugh even though this doesn’t feel like my favorite idea. But I appreciate what he’s doing. Even now, even when we’re in this weird limbo, he’s being careful of my feelings.

“It’s fine, Ethan. Finn will love it. Do you want me to drop him off?”

“Actually, I was thinking I could just pick him up from school, if that’s okay.”

---