Page 36 of Masquerade Mistake

I bite my lip at his retreating back, then stretch out in the bed. I feel massaged inside and out, my muscles straining in places I haven’t felt before. I’m satiated in a whole new way, and yet, the promise of more has me squirming in anticipation.

When Ethan returns to bed, he makes good on that promise. The second time there’s no pain, only pleasure, and I can’t help wondering why I swore off dating all these years. Maybe I was waiting for him. Whatever it was, I’m glad I’m here now. There’s no place else I want to be.

Chapter 14

Ethan and I fall into an easy new rhythm. Almost every day, he shows up at my house about an hour after Finn goes to school, and we lose ourselves between the sheets until I have to tear myself away for work. Even then, he stays with me for a few more hours, helping me with projects or playing chauffeur while I run errands. Before Finn is home from school, Ethan leaves for his own job, and I’m left with a permanent smile on my face.

We never mention the book I picked out for him. I have no idea if he’s read it or not, and I’m afraid to ask. I feel like my secret will spring out at him within the pages—like one of those pop-up books—and the more I get to know Ethan, the more I’m afraid of telling him the truth. I know I need to tell Ethan that Finn is his son at some point, but I’m not sure how. And as much as he’s passed Finn’s photos on every wall, on my fridge, and on the mantle above the fireplace, he’s never once figured out that he’s Finn’s father.

At the very least, I keep waiting for Ethan to ask about meeting Finn, even though Nina’s story about his dad tugs at my mind. It’s been weeks since we started seeing each other, and besides the day I told him I had a son, he hasn’t offered any sign of wanting to meet Finn. Still, I keep hoping his feelings for me surpasses the ghosts of his past. We spend just about every moment of our free time together, getting to know each other inside and out, and the whole time I have this huge question in the back of my mind and I can’t ask it.

“Just ask him,” Maren tells me. She’s at my kitchen table on a rare morning when Ethan isn’t there. I feel bad because my mornings after Finn leaves are usually reserved for her, but I’ve been so wrapped up in Ethan, we haven’t hung out much except when she offers to watch Finn.

“Ask him what? If he’d like to be my baby daddy?” I take a piece off the croissant she brought me and stuff it in my mouth.

“He already is, doofus. I mean, ask if he’d like to hang out with you and Finn so he can meet the kid.”

“You make it sound so simple.” I sigh, finishing off the croissant, then reaching for another. I know I’m stress eating, but I can’t help it. The thought of Finn and Ethan together makes me equal parts nervous and excited.

“It is simple,” she says, taking the croissant out of my hands and putting it back in the bag. I pout as she puts it out of reach. “The croissant isn’t going to make things better.”

“It makes me feel better.”

“No, it will make you sleepy in an hour, and you need your wits about you. You need to talk with Ethan tonight. Tell him you want him to meet Finn.”

“Why tonight?” I eye the croissant bag longingly, even though I know she’s right. Eating my stress isn’t the answer.

“Because the longer you put this off, the more you’ll overthink it. The more you overthink it, the better chance you have of screwing this up. And Claire, you don’t want to screw this up. I’ve never seen you so happy.”

I smother my smile, but it’s cresting over the hand covering my mouth, into my cheeks, and oozing out of my eyes to the point that Maren shakes her head. But she’s smiling too.

“It’s your fault,” I say, which is what I’ve been telling myself for all the weeks I’ve neglected our friendship.

“I’ll take some of the blame, along with Nina. But I think the two of you have the most to do with it.” She nudges my shoulder with her fist. “I’m thrilled for you, which is why I want to see this work. The only way this will work is if you let down all of your damn barriers and let this guy fully in. That starts with letting him see Mom Claire, not just Sexy Claire.”

“But Sexy Claire is so much more fun.”

“Mom Claire is fun, too, just not as scandalous. Trust me, when Ethan meets Mom Claire, he’s going to beg to be Finn’s baby daddy.”

“That’s not funny.” My smile drops as my heart skips a beat. Maren smirks at me, and I groan. “See, I can’t even joke about it. Ethan is going to totally lose it when he finds out we had a kid.”

“Or he’s going to be thrilled.”

“Right. Especially since he told me he’s never having kids.” I drop my head in my hands. Maren reaches over, removing my hands from my face.

“Claire, people change. Besides, you’re not asking him to be anything. You’re just asking him to meet your son. It’s a normal part of dating a single parent. He’s gotten to know you as Claire. Now he gets to meet the most important person in your life. If you really want to see if he’s daddy material, he needs to at least meet your kid first.”

I mull this over, even though there’s really no mulling to do. She’s right. The longer I put this off, the more painful it’s going to be. If I know Ethan—and I think I have a pretty good idea about him—there’s going to be one day when I tell him about Finn, and then invite him into our son’s life on a larger level. But the longer I put this off, the worse I’m going to make it. He needs to meet Finn, and soon.

I stall for a few more days, which of course, leads to a whole lot of overthinking. I’ve run through scenarios that include Ethan proposing marriage right on the spot or disappearing from my life forever. I even imagine him figuring out who Finn is and suing me for custody. I realize I’m getting nowhere by making up stories about what he’ll do. Besides, I’ve already gone through the worst of it in my imagination, so I might as well get it over with in real life.

Maren offers to stay with Finn so that Ethan and I can go to the movies. I’d considered just having him pick me up at my house so that I can get the meeting part out of the way. But I’m a planner. I need just as much time to get used to this idea as he might. Maybe more.

I rehearse what I’m going to say on the drive over. Ethan, I’d love for you to meet my son, the fruit of our loins. Ew, gross, no. Plus, I can’t tell him the relation yet. Ethan, I think it’s time for you to meet my son, a boy who looks just like you, totally a coincidence. What is wrong with you, Claire! Ethan, it’s time for you to meet Finn, which will bring us to the next level, and…

By the time I get to his house, I am completely jumbled with all the wrong words, and nowhere closer to finding the right ones. Never in my life did I think I’d be in this position, and now that I am, I feel like the last leaf on a tree in a windstorm.

“You look stunning,” Ethan says as he opens the door, his eyes roaming over me.

---