Page 17 of Damned By His Angel

I scoff. “This isn’t some fucking movie, Bill, this is real life and people like me and her don’t get do overs. We have to live with the hand we have been dealt and accept what is.”

He shakes his head and looks at me with… pity. “You don’t have to live with shit! You just need to find a reason to fight, find something that gives you the strength you need for change and I promise you, boy, it will be the most frightening and exhilarating feeling in this world.” Our conversation is cut short when the front door opens and Amelia walks out. She’s wearing a pair of Yoga pants and some white fluffy socks but it’s the form fitting long sleeved shirt she wears that captures my attention—her growing bump is on display. Bitterness of that bump not being because of my seed seeps into me and I quickly push that feeling away.

“Bill?” He peers over his shoulder at her and smiles kindly as he pushes to his feet and arches his back.

“I’ll give you kids some time alone,” he says as he walks back inside. Amelia shoots him a thankful smile as he passes. When she approaches me, I can see that her eyes are red and bloodshot. She was crying. She motions for me to join her on the love swing on the corner of the porch. If it wasn’t for the fact I could tell she was crying I would have denied her. The chair creaks under my weight, she rolls her lips over her teeth to keep from smiling which earns her a scowl from me.

Silence stretches between us for a while. I sip my beer and slowly swing us. She gets comfortable, tucking her legs under her and pulling the sleeves of her shirt down so they cover her hands. I lean forward and place my beer on the ground, then grip the back of my hoodie and yank it off. I toss it to her without another word as I retrieve my beer and start swinging us again. I spy her out of the corner of my eye pulling the collar of my hoodie to her nose and inhaling, it shouldn’t but that sight has my chest swelling with pride.

“You staying here then?” She jerks at the sound of my voice. I feel her gaze boring into the side of my head but refuse to look at her.

“I think it’s probably for the best, don’t you?”

I fight not to scoff. “Since when does my opinion matter to you?”

“I guess it shouldn’t but contrary to what you think, Cronos, I don’t want to cause problems for you.”

“If that were true, then you wouldn’t have judged me for a past I had no control over.”

“Like how you're judging me now?”

I turn my head to the side and look at her. “What do I have to judge you for? You made it clear the day you kicked my ass to the curb, I either choose you or my brothers. The worst part was you didn’t give me a chance to answer the question before you went off ranting about how I was no better than your family, a ‘thug for hire’ were your words, I believe.”

“You knew how I felt about the lifestyle my family leads?—”

“So you just thought you would chuck me in the same basket you put them in?”

“No—”

“You gave me a choice to go back to my brothers or run away from this life with you, want to know what my answer was?” Her bottom lip begins to tremble and I see her eyes turn glassy with unshed tears. “If you had given me a chance to answer before you self-sabotaged what we shared, I would have told you that this lifestyle has taken everything from me and I owe it nothing.” Her mouth parts on a gasp as I stand and face her. “For me there was no choice, Amelia. I saw my redemption from the darkness in you. You were never a second choice for me, you were always my first thought in the morning and the last before I slept.” I reach into my pocket and retrieve the roll of cash and phone I got for her. I toss them next to her but she doesn’t take her tear filled gaze off me. “I. Would. Have. Chosen. You.”

I turn my back to her, ready to leave but her words have me pausing. “I saw the world through your eyes and I got scared that you would never see me as more than a fleeting moment. My entire family always chooses this life over me and I couldn’t handle you doing the same.”

I keep my back to her unable to look at her or I’d risk my anger getting the better of me again. “Look how well that shit turned out for you, Meelz. Maybe if you had chosen me and the family you claim to hate so much, you wouldn’t be on the run from the bastard that knocked you up and ruined your life.” I attempt to leave but she grabs my arm and spins me around to face her. I keep my gaze focused above her head.

“I did fuck up. I am woman enough to admit that. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Cronos. If I could go back and change what happened, I would.” I lazily drop my gaze to hers and make sure to keep my emotions closed off.

“You’re a liar. If given the choice to go back you wouldn’t, you may hate him but you already love the kid growing inside you.” Her face falls. Despite my anger, I reach out and cup her cheek in my hand. “Take it from someone who wasn’t wanted by either of his parents, you loving your kid is nothing to be ashamed of. That baby has no idea how lucky it is to be loved already by you.” I lean forward and place a kiss against her forehead, my lips stay pressed against her longer than they should. Pulling away from her is harder than it should be but walking away from her again… that shit stings worse than taking a bullet to the chest.

Amelia

Two weeks later…

Despite how things ended on the porch two weeks ago between me and Cronos, I still turned up to work the next day. The look of shock on his face when he pulled into the parking lot and saw me standing there was comical. The first few days were awkward and filled with tension. He even chose to eat his lunch in the chiller room rather than sit with me in the kitchen. A cold shiver runs down my spine at the memory of walking in to check on him, only to find his half eaten sandwich resting on Mr. Connelly’s chest. I nearly threw up right there when he picked it up and took another bite.

“Max.” The sound of him calling my name draws me from my thoughts. I push back from my desk and head for the back. The moment I enter, he is nowhere to be found.

“Grizz?” I hear him groan from the back room and fight back my smile, he still doesn’t like it when I call him that. The nickname came about when he wouldn’t let me out of bed for four days unless it was to eat or use the bathroom. I told him he couldn’t hibernate like a grizzly bear forever but the truth is, the name really stuck because he’s always protected me fiercely like a Grizzly would their home.

“Back here.” I follow the sound of his voice around the corner to the embalming room. I poke my head and scrunch my nose at the smell.

“Why are you embalming without Tracey?” He shoots me a loaded look.

“She’s sick and the dead wait for no one.”

“Okay…” I let my sentence trail off.

“I need you to help me.”

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