Page 11 of Damned By His Angel

“All the greatest loves in history are designed to be painful, Nos. Most people think love should be easy and comfortable but that isn’t the type of love people like us crave. We want painful, soul-shattering, groundbreaking love that consumes us and drives us insane. What you shared with Aida is something that can never be replaced. She was your first love and don’t you dare push me in the fucking lake for saying this but… she wasn’t your greatest love, your soul-breaking, death-craving love.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you're still here—” she whispers. “Romeo couldn’t live without Juliet and vice versa. Your Juliet is out there, Nos, you just need to find her and let her break down your walls and destroy the fuck out of your heart until she owns every goddamn fucking piece of it. If it doesn’t hurt then it isn’t worth it.”

“You walked out on me and I thought the pain I felt was because I was just sad to see you go, I thought I would be okay after a few weeks, but I wasn’t. When I saw you with him, I felt like my chest was breaking open, my heart wanted out of my own body so it could live inside yours.” Her mouth parts on a gasp but now that I’ve started I can’t stop the words from spilling out of me. “I rang London, she wanted to claw your fucking eyes out and torture that cocksucker but I said no.”

“Why?” she whispers brokenly.

“I knew who he was the moment I saw him. I knew he was the one that got away and I couldn’t hurt you like that, Amelia. If that was Aida, I would have taken the chance to rekindle that love as well.” My subconscious is screaming at me to stop lying but I shut that fucker up really quick, I’ve said enough as it is. Tears slowly cascade down her cheeks as she stares up at me. I see so much pain and regret in her eyes that it spears me. I do the only thing I can think of, I close the space between us and grip the back of her head pulling her forward, so I can place a kiss on her forehead.

She clutches the front of my shirt in her tiny hands, trying to keep me here but she knows as well as I do that we can’t turn back time. Our time has come and gone. Too much has happened and I don’t think I could ever open up to anyone again—I tried that shit twice and got burned, badly.

“Grizz,” she chokes out. I close my eyes briefly, then pull back to stare down at her.

“Don’t do it, angel.” She gasps at the use of my nickname for her. “Whatever you say now will be just words spoken in the heat of the moment?—”

“I came here because I knew you would protect me, I knew you wouldn’t turn me away no matter how upset you are with me. I chose you over my family because you wouldn’t judge me for my choices and call me a stupid girl for falling into the trap with Colson like I did.”

I cup her face between my hands and force a smile to my face. “No, angel. You came here because you thought I could fix the pain you are in and change the outcome of what already happened. I’m not your savior, Meelz. You and I are the same, we’re both broken by our pasts and the only one who can find the old you and bring her back is you.” She opens her mouth to argue but I push on. “Find her and let her guide you because she was fucking magnificent and she is the person who will be able to save you. When you find her, let me know.” I release her and walk out the front door without a single glance back, knowing she will be waiting for it. I climb in my truck and head out. I have no idea where the fuck I am going but I just need to get out and away from her for a while so I can clear my head.

I pull up to the pier and kill the engine. The best part about a small town is no one is out late so I can be left alone with my own thoughts and not have to worry about some fucker sneaking up on me. I climb out and hop on the hood, leaning back against the windscreen as I stare out over the water and try to calm myself and all the emotions swirling inside me. I don’t do these types of fucking feelings. My phone vibrating in my pocket pulls me from my thoughts. I pray it’s work and someone died but when I see the caller ID, I sigh.

“Do you have ESP or some shit?” I ask instead of a greeting.

“Of course I do, bestie, I could feel it in my soul that you needed me and I was powerless to control the urge to call you.” I snort out a laugh, London is a lot of things but caring and attentive isn’t fucking one of them.

“You sound like an idiot.”

“Kiss my ass, dickhead!” I laugh, now she sounds like the Lon I know and love. “Why do you sound wounded?” The fact she can read me so well should scare me but it never has. She doesn’t have to ask what’s wrong, she just knows from the tone of my voice or from a look.

“You gonna rat me out to your man if I tell you?” I may be angry and confused about all this shit with Amelia but I would never betray her trust by outing her to her father and the others. I know if London gives me her word she will never betray me.

“I would never fuck you over like that! You want this conversation to stay between us, then it will. The only time I would ever break my promise to you is if your life was endangered and I knew Artemis could save you.”

I don’t beat around the bush. “Amelia found me,” I blurt out.

“How?” she asks without missing a beat.

“I wrote her a letter months ago and she saw the post stamp.”

“Why is she there?” The anger in her tone is clear and I love her for being angry on my behalf but she shouldn’t be. Her and Meelz used to be close but ever since she found out about what happened between us, she pulled away from Meelz. The final straw for London to cut all contact was when we spoke six months ago after I went to Chicago.

“Shit went south and she needed to run, she thought coming to me was better than asking her father for help.”

“You turned that trifling bitch away… right?” I bite down on my lip and close my eyes. “Your answer should be, of course I did, Lon, she broke my heart and I sent her ass packing as payback!”

I chuckle but there is no humor to it. “Yeah, that is not what happened.”

London exhales loudly. “You saw her and then all your anger went straight the fuck out the window, didn’t it?”

I sigh and nod. “Yeah.”

“Cronos, she fucked you up and left you high and dry. She didn’t wait around, she moved on with that cunt and forgot about you. Don’t you dare fucking let her do that shit to you again.”

“I won’t.”

“Bullshit. Unlike her you never fell out of love with that ungrateful bitch. I give you two days before you’re fingering her next to a corpse.”

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