Page 49 of Possess Me! (I Want You To)

You don’t need to ask to change the channel, dude. Just do it.

You want another Oreo? Sure! Eat as many as you want.

Luca was a giver. Which was why it was hard for me to believe he’d fucked up so horribly with his family. Curiosity was foreign to me. As foreign as the slick oil of guilt that sat heavy in my belly every time he smiled at me like I deserved it. He didn’t like seeing me uncomfortable. Even though he was fully aware that I was dead, and therefore incapable of feeling discomfort the same way he did.

He did what he could to make me feel at home. Each command was carefully cultivated to build me from the ground up. To give me back the freedom that death had taken. It was exactly what the original creators of my spell had intended. Only…he did it unaware. Confusing. He was confusing.

What was his angle?

Soon enough, through the web of his demands, I was beginning to grow solid—able to interact not just with him, but with the world around me.

It was the closest to living I’d felt in a very long time.

Sometimes when he was sleeping I would stare at him and try to figure out whether or not he was incredibly stupid, or just…kind. Tonight was no different. He lay slumbering beside me, snuffling into his pillow, his long limbs akimbo. The numbers on the clock glared red as I found myself lost in thought once again.

Stupid or kind.

Luca began to snore, and I rubbed at the unfamiliar ache in my chest with a frown.

Maybe both.

He kept bending over backward for me but never extended himself the same courtesy. Sometimes his kindness was honestly ridiculous. Exhibit A: He’d blown up a fucking air mattress for me, ignoring the fact I’d literally told him I didn’t need it. He’d glared till I’d given in and let him arrange the spare blankets and pillows on top of the rubber monstrosity. The sheets he’d painstakingly tucked overtop it were covered in little rocket ships full of various dog breeds wearing astronaut suits. It was very Luca. Was it too late to tell him I was allergic to color?

He clearly had a hard-on for alien-core.

“Are you judging my sheets?” He’d said, all incredulously, like judging the fact he decorated like a toddler was the rudest thing I’d ever done to him. I’d just arched my brow, and let him grumble his disgust. Despite his bluster, I caught the lost look in his eyes as he’d fingered the corner of the sheets, like my disapproval hurt him more than he’d said. Like the person who was really judging him was himself.

I’d kicked him to get him to stop, and he’d squawked at me indignantly. But the light flooded back into his eyes, and the self-hatred that had flickered inside his gaze fled. He could be so kind to others, but to himself? There were demons hiding beneath the surface. I didn’t have to care to notice that.

The double standard pissed me off. Contradictory. Sometimes it was almost like he purposefully chased the things that made him hurt.

Phone calls upset him, and yet he never stopped taking them. His hands would shake in agitation. His lips bitten red and raw. It made me regret giving him money for a phone in the first place. Only because his turmoil complicated things, of course. Not because seeing him upset bothered me.

That would be as stupid as his stupid pink hair.

He’d opened up to me a lot during this past week but there was still so much he was hiding. Secrets on secrets on secrets. Every time Violet called he would shoo me away, a constipated look on his face that meant she was about to question him about me again.

The second Luca had mentioned that she was born and raised in Elmwood, I knew she was a threat. As a sanctuary, even the humans who occupied the tiny shit-hole were aware of the secret.

What exactly she knew was yet to be discovered.

He was being incredibly cagey about the whole thing.

Which…made it difficult to know whether or not she was telling him the risks of helping me. Or worse, about the spell itself. Not that information regarding ghosts was widely spread. There were few left who even knew the mechanics, and even fewer who knew how to create one. She may be a witch, but that didn’t necessarily mean that she was an educated one.

Besides, the spell had been banned years ago, for good reason.

I only hoped that the fact I answered all Luca’s questions now meant he would bring any inquiries my way, rather than hers. Now, more than ever, it was important I curate every answer to suit my purposes.

There was a flaw in my plan.

Which only became more apparent the longer I spent with the pink-haired twunk. The more I got to know him the worse I felt about using him. Once again, guilt climbed my insides like rot. Made my skin tight, and my stomach flip.

Feeling bad…was foreign.

I wasn’t used to feeling much of anything at all.

Luca was sleeping when I heard the noise.

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