Page 145 of Possess Me! (I Want You To)

Vanity approached, way too fucking slow. Well. Maybe she was walking normal—but it felt slow. Glacially so. Rather than go around Chastity to get out the door, I launched myself over the middle seat and pushed out the sliding door.

The second my feet hit the ground Prudence separated from Vanity’s body.

His talisman thrummed against my chest as the ten yards between us was easily eaten up by my stride. He met me halfway, an unnatural spark in his eyes that was unlike any expression I’d ever seen him wear.

He was here.

He was here.

“Did you get it?” I asked, my words all raw and wobbly. He nodded, and the relief that flooded my body nearly made my knees give out. Prudence must’ve noticed because his cold fingers bit into my hips, steadying me as all my fears—worries—and anxiety trembled out through a ragged breath.

I pulled him close, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, my face smashing in his hair.

I couldn’t tell him I loved him, or he’d stay.

I knew that.

It would be selfish.

So fucking selfish.

I wasn’t a selfish person, at least not usually. I’d always done my best to give and give and give. I’d given my childhood away. I’d risked. God, I had. All those days with my siblings, biting back my own hunger so I could make sure they were fed. The relief I’d felt when I finally had money in the bank, and I’d immediately poured it into their futures.

And here I was.

Future-less.

I didn’t regret it, any of it. I didn’t regret Mom’s smile when she’d come home and we’d have groceries in the fridge, courtesy of the iPod I’d stolen then pawned. Betty’s private happiness when she’d made me help her hang her diploma in the hallway at Mom’s house. Adam’s grin at fourteen when he’d told me he wanted to grow up to be just like me.

I didn’t regret any of that.

But.

But if I let Prudence go—if he died, never knowing how I really felt—I would regret that for the rest of my fucking life.

And it struck me—all at once—how stupid I had been.

Maybe…maybe it was okay to be selfish sometimes. Maybe being selfish could be its own form of love. Because I wanted him. I wanted him so goddamn much. I’d given—lord. I’d given. Maybe it was time I…took.

Maybe it was time I stood up for myself.

And if I did—if I did, maybe he’d stay.

Maybe he wouldn’t.

The choice was up to him.

Like it was supposed to be.

Not telling him would make me just as bad as all the people in his life who had taken away his agency. It was a disservice to him to deny the chance at a future. Maybe the coward in me had been frightened of rejection, after all, I’d been burned.

Hunter and I had been engaged before his betrayal. He’d made pretty, empty promises. I’d trusted him. And look where that had gotten me. Violet’s words, trust no one, uttered as a careful warning to my cracking heart had sat like a noose around my neck for far too long. I’d held them close. But I realized now—that—wasn’t who I was.

I wasn’t distrustful.

I wasn’t cautious.

I was naive.

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