Page 46 of The Devil Takes

That was why I’d come to this conclusion, one I didn’t want to make. An ultimatum I didn’t want to give.

“Enough, Percy.”

His fists clenched again. He was trembling all over, the scent of his sweat tingling inside my nose. I rarely used his name, just like he rarely used mine. It was a boundary we didn’t cross. Pet names were easier, though no less personal.

“You haven’t made the choice to stay. Therefore I cannot help you anymore.” We’d run out of time weeks ago but I’d been weak. So fucking weak for those big hazel eyes and abused pink lips. Weak for the smile he so rarely graced me with. Weak for the way he picked apart my library, disgusted by the complicated texts. Weak for the way he marveled at the simplest things. I knew my voice was trembling, but I couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop the emotion from breaking the surface.

He didn’t speak.

Because I was apparently a masochist, I finally let myself look at his face.

I shouldn’t have.

But even in this, I was powerless to refuse him.

Percy’s eyes were glassy, the dark circles beneath them so bruised he looked nearly beaten. Splotchy red cheeks. A scab bisecting his bottom lip where it had been abused so beautifully it bled. His temples were slick with sweat, his tawny brown hair matted to his scalp. He shook. All over. Large shoulders trembling, his chest heaving with each needy shudder for air. In, and out. Suffering, so beautifully. But the satisfaction I normally felt when I saw him like this was missing because it had not been my hand that had caused it.

I gave in.

“Oh, darling. What have they done to you now?” The pet name slipped out, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret the words as Percy’s shoulders collapsed and he stumbled his way toward me immediately. I patted my lap, and despite the fact that we were nearly the same size, he didn’t hesitate as he climbed atop my thighs and buried his trembling face in the hollow beside my neck.

I could feel his shaking now more than I could see it, smoothing my hands down his back, petting over the muscle in a way he so rarely let me.

“Please, alpha.” Percy’s lips trembled against the side of my neck.

He was heavy and warm. I nuzzled into his sweaty temple, inhaling greedily, chasing the faint traces of his scent hiding somewhere beneath chemical blankness.

“Please.” To my surprise Percy released me. He sank to his knees, his broad shoulders forcing my legs wide to accommodate as he settled beneath my desk, staring up at me with those eyes…the eyes that made me want to burn the world down, just to make him smile. He nuzzled the inside of my knee, needy. Sweet.

I threaded my fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp as a shuddered exhale left his lips.

He wanted to forget.

It had been months since he’d asked this of me.

Instead, our days had been spent quietly conversing, his cock in my mouth, or vice versa. Sex had quickly become his favorite way to let go, and I had indulged him, probably more than was healthy. But when he asked me for something, I found it nearly impossible to say no.

I was supposed to be creating distance between us now.

I had already decided it was time to let him go.

But…

“Help me forget,” Percy begged, just like I’d thought he would. The words were forced, painful and sharp.

“This isn’t healthy for either of us,” I reminded him gently, even though his close proximity to my cock made it impossible to ignore how much I wanted him.

“I need it.” That same hurt quality to his voice was back, that same glassy, lost look on his face. Like he was searching for religion between my thighs. Desperate for kindness. I had never been a kind being. I’d been chosen for this job because of my casual indifference, or so I thought. But he brought out things inside me I hadn’t even known existed.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I brushed a thumb over a stray eyelash that had fallen on his cheek, and he shuddered at the innocent touch. One more time would only deepen the bond between us.

“You’re hurting me right now.”

God. Those words. A sudden lancing pain tore through my heart and I knew in that moment, there was no way I could deny him. I was too weak. I’d always been expected to be strong, always excelled at putting up walls. But with those simple words, every wall I’d built around myself crumbled to the ground. My fortresses no longer fortified.

“Please, I just…” Percy trailed off, searching my gaze. I was glad of the barrier between us, the last one. My mask had somehow stayed on the entire time we’d been together, the last remaining protection between us. “I need it.” He shook so beautifully. “I need you.”

And who was I to deny him?

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