Page 80 of Risking Immortality

“You don’t think he’s right?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“So, is that what you wanted to talk to him about? Immortality?”

“No, I wanted him to… I just wanted—”

“Wanted what? Amelia, what more could he, me, or you possibly do? We have our answer. Or is that the problem? You don’t like what he said. You don’t like the thought of me changing.”

“Do you know what you would be choosing? I mean, really? It’s okay for you to say you want this, to live with me forever, but you’re human. You were meant to live and grow old with your family. They will get old and die. You will have to watch everyone you love leave. You won’t even be able to be there with them in the end because, unlike them, you won’t have aged a day.”

“I understand that,” Erin begins, but she can’t possibly mean it.

“How can you say that so calmly? I couldn’t watch my brothers and sisters grow old and die. Nor my parents.”

“Amelia, I don’t have all the answers. It’s not like I saw any of this coming—”

“I know, and that makes it worse. It makes this impossible situation my fault. I should have just stayed away. I’d made peace with my future.”

“You think you should have hidden away and waited to go mad? You think you should have gotten to the point where your parents or siblings had to decide which one of them would have to kill you?” Erin is getting worked up, but she isn’t shouting, she isn’t running. Not like me.

“But you would have been safe, Erin. You would have made a life, probably with Mack.”

“Mack?”

“Yes. I know you liked her. She may have messed up in the end, but I think she’s a decent person. Just a tad jealous.”

“Amelia, what the hell are you going on about?”

“She still likes you; you know. I saw her at the club not so long ago. You were talking at the bar.”

“Mack came to apologize and ask if she could have another chance. However, she was under no illusions once I told her how I felt about you. Why didn’t you tell me you saw that?”

“I thought if it were anything important, you would tell me. Anyway, it’s not about that. I want you to be happy and safe, surrounded by the people you love. Not losing them.”

“I love you, Amelia, and I love your family. I’m not going to deny it will hurt when those times come, and I have to say goodbye to my parents or my friends. But that’s an inevitability anyway. Death is a part of life. But Amelia, it’s my choice. I’m not blindly following you like some lovesick puppy. My soul is yours, my heart and mind, too. If I thought my parents would understand, I would tell them about all of this. And I’m pretty sure they would encourage me to follow my heart.”

“Your entire life will change. You’ll need to drink red. Have you thought about that?”

“I doubt that will be an issue. When I change—”

“If you change.”

“No, when. If Dr. Mendhi is correct, it’s my choice, right? I’ve made peace with the new trajectory of my life, Amelia. It’s time you did the same. Forget about me and what will happen. That’s my burden to bear. Think about yourself and what you want. Do you want to spend eternity with me?”

“I could choose mortality,” I say.

“You’d be choosing death. We know what it would mean for you to stay mortal.”

“Not necessarily, according to the good doctor—”

“You’re willing to gamble on a theory?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?”

“No, it’s not. We’ve bonded. I’ve tasted your blood. There is no reason to think I won’t change just like Anya, unless… you decide you don’t want that. I may be new to the world of vampires, Amelia, but I’m a quick study. If the doctor is right and our choice can make a difference, the only way I will remain mortal is if you choose that. Not me, I know what I want.” Erin rises from the bed, still holding my hand. “Decide what you want, Amelia, for both our sakes.”

“Erin–”

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