“It’s okay, we can go over. I’d like to see your family again.” There is nothing but sincerity in her voice and face. Erin is an angel.
“Fine,” I mumble, less than pleased our date is being commandeered by my mother.
“I came in the Porsche, so you’ll have to find your own way over,” Lucille calls, already leaving.
“Bike?” I ask Erin. I know she loved our trip to the beach.
“Yes,” she says excitedly.
Well, at least I get to have her anchored to my body for a few minutes before the Lochs kidnap her. I guarantee my parents will whisk her away, trying to pump her for information. Well, Mother will, that’s for sure.
We follow Lucille all the way to my parents’ house. That woman is a danger to everyone! “Lucille, you are a menace,” I screech at her when we pull up. “You nearly took out a parked car. How is that possible?”
“You’re so dramatic. Just like Trent.”
“No, we’re horrified you have a license. For the love of all things precious, let your husband drive from now on.”
“Do you see the person you’re dating?” Lucille asks Erin. “She has the personality of a cabbage. I hope you know that.” I’m about to go all WWE on her, but the touch of Erin’s hand on my lower back pulls my attention. I turn to her, Lucille forgotten.
“It’s okay. I like cabbage,” she says with a sweet smile. One I can’t stop myself from mirroring.
“Gross,” Lucille mutters.
The door to the house swings open and out sweeps my mother. She makes a direct line for Erin, just as I knew she would. “Erin, how fantastic to see you. Come in, everyone’s here.” And that’s that. I won’t get five seconds alone with Erin until we leave. I hope there’s alcohol.
The house has been decorated. Floor-to-ceiling. “Is there a party I wasn’t aware of?” I call to anyone that will listen.
“Yes,” Jacob laughs. “And you’re not going to like it,” he mumbles in my ear.
“Erin,” my mother shouts. It’s her way of getting us all to listen. “I’m so glad you came. The dinner today was to discuss you.”
“Me?”
“Erin?” I ask. What is going on?
“Yes, a little birdie tells me it’s your birthday on Friday!”
“Is it?” I should know this, it’s on her personnel file.
“Um, yeah it is,” she laughs nervously.
“Well, all this,” Mother says, waving her bejeweled hand about. “It’s for your birthday party.” I groan internally. I knew they wouldn’t be able to stay out of it.
“For me? What? Why?”
“Because you’re special to Amelia, therefore special to us,” my father chimes in. Thanks Dad. Erin looks at me and my very red face. It’s amazing how, even as an adult, your parents can embarrass you on the turn of a dime.
“I don’t know what to say,” Erin stutters.
“Nothing to say. We’ve already contacted your friends and family.” Oh Christ, they’ve done a deep dive into her personal life.
“My family?” Erin parrots.
“Yes, your mom and dad will stay with us for two nights. We want them to feel welcome.”
Erin is nodding along. I can see she is overwhelmed. That’s my cue. “Excuse us for a second, please,” I say, not stopping to wait for anyone to object. Scooping Erin gently by the elbow, I take us outside. “Erin, I’m sorry about them.”
“They did all this for me?”