Page 4 of The Cursed Sebastian Storm

An arm came to rest across his shoulders. “Sebastian.” James’s gentle whisper tickled his ear.

“Fuck,” he swore, refusing to open his eyes or release his head from his hands. He didn’t want James to see him like this.

“Why don’t we take our food to go?”

Sebastian lifted his head. The lights were too bright. Honestly, who needed things to be this blinding, and why hadn’t he noticed how awful the glare was before? Several people were staring at him. Did they realize who he was? Could they tell he was fending off panic?

“Can we get some boxes?” James asked Eli when he returned with the burger and waffles.

Dread washed over Sebastian. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to be freaking out right now, unable to eat in a damn restaurant. But at the same time, getting away from the noise and unforgiving light seemed vital. He was glad he at least had a choice.

He’d never wanted to be alone, trapped far out of town with no one to talk to. Had he really gotten so accustomed to the forced isolation that the rumors about him had come true? He wanted to say no, but he didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling, other than some sort of social anxiety.

James packed up their food and paid. Sebastian followed him outside. Relief hit almost instantly, and he hated it as much as he’d hated every lonely day trapped in that old house.

“We can head to my place.” James paused outside the diner. “Or sit in the park.”

It was dusk, late enough that the newly installed lights had come on in the town center. Sebastian couldn’t remember how many shades were usually around town, but it wasn’t like people avoided going out at night because of them. Storm House had always been plagued with scores more than anywhere else.

Not wanting to retreat completely, Sebastian said, “Let’s eat out here. It’s not that cold.”

James carried their dinner to a picnic table by the swing set, directly under a large, bright light.

“Doesn’t seem like this date was such a great idea.” James fiddled with the lid of his burger container. “I’m sorry. I was too excited to think. You haven’t been out in so long. I should have realized it would be overwhelming.”

Sebastian’s heart constricted painfully. “I wasn’t expecting to react like this.” He popped a tot in his mouth, taking a moment to enjoy the crunchy, salted potato.

Now that they were away from everyone, he was much calmer. Even the light above them wasn’t as oppressive in the open space, and the subtle night sounds were familiar. He breathed more easily as the twinge in his chest disappeared, but he couldn’t fully appreciate the calm feeling.

Sebastian had detested the silence of Storm House. The quiet had driven him to desperation countless times. It was messed up that something he’d hated now soothed him.

“It makes sense that your reactions have changed.” James gave him a look full of unfaltering understanding. “Maybe ease into social settings gradually, see where your new comfort zone is. A date night at home would have been just as good. We can go watch a movie after dinner.”

The prospect should have perked Sebastian up. How often had he wished he could watch movies or television over the last years?

“You really want to date me, don’t you?” Sebastian couldn’t help asking. James was a very serious guy, determined and single-minded when he was set on a goal. Sebastian had never thought that focus would be directed at him, especially not now that James was free to escape Sebastian and all his problems.

James frowned like he was surprised by the question. He set down the milkshake he’d been about to sip. “Yeah, I want to date you. I mean, only if you want to. I thought, now that we’re free, things could be—but if you don’t want to, I mean, I’m hardly your only option now.”

Sebastian had no idea where the idea he wouldn’t choose James had come from. He wanted James badly, to an almost desperate degree, especially after James had watched him silently unravel in the diner and treated the incident like it was totally normal.

“I want to date you too, James. There’s no doubt about that.”

James smiled at him. “Perfect.” He picked up his burger and took a bite like all was right with the world.

This turn of events was a lot for Sebastian to get his head around. James didn’t just want to fuck, which they had been doing rather spectacularly. For some reason, he wanted more with Sebastian. He wanted to see where they went like he was hoping for an actual future together, and not one centered solely around mutual orgasms. Sebastian was floored by the idea. He’d never hoped for a future with James.

He’d never let himself consider a future beyond Storm House. He’d been happy to take any small shred of joy he could find. Hooking up with James had been better than his wildest fantasies, but he’d never hoped for more. Yes, he’d said he’d take care of James, had been vulnerable with him, had made big promises to face fears with him, but that had all been born out of their fucked-up situation. Being imprisoned against their will had made taking risks seem less daunting.

Suddenly, something real together was a possibility, a relationship not built on circumstance, forced proximity, and shared trauma. Sebastian could have more than he’d ever dreamed of. All he’d ever wanted was his freedom. That would have been enough. But no, in addition, he’d been given things he hadn’t even dared to ask for.

It was terrifying.

A future with James wasn’t an idea he could get attached to. It wouldn’t ever happen. They wouldn’t last. He knew he’d lose James just like he’d lost everyone and everything else in his life, no matter what James said he wanted right now.

Sebastian and James together forever was an impossibility.

Things would change between them once James discovered what Sebastian was hiding. Sebastian wouldn’t blame James for letting go of the idea of the two of them. Anything else was too much to hope for and way more than Sebastian deserved.

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