Page 49 of The Cursed Sebastian Storm

“You’re my dream, James,” Sebastian murmured in his ear. “Having it come true, knowing you wanted to actually date me, scared the hell out of me. I didn’t think I could have you. I didn’t trust it would last, but I was wrong.”

James pulled back. “Why didn’t you think you could have me?” He didn’t sound accusatory or incredulous, just like he needed to understand.

Sebastian blew out an exaggerated breath. “I didn’t deserve it.” James opened his mouth to protest, but Sebastian held up a hand to stop him. He grabbed the washcloth and soap and began washing James. “Nothing good has ever lasted for me. No one ever wanted me. My mom conceived and raised me to sacrifice me for my sister, and even before I knew that’s what was happening, I could feel it. Every little thing she did to abandon me, to not choose me, added up and left me hollow. So I tried to earn it. I tried to be worthy of her loving me.” He choked on a breath, the washcloth stopping in its tracks.

“Sebastian.” James covered his hand.

He cleared his throat and continued his washing. “Even my uncle, who was kind to me, who I trusted when I didn’t trust my mom, even he betrayed me. I thought we had a good relationship, even though I was a moody kid and he was this seemingly out-of-touch adult. But it was all a lie. He let my mom discard me at Storm House. He trapped me and forced me to face all the worst parts of the curse blind. And alone.” A sob choked out of him despite his best efforts to hold it in.

James took the cloth from Sebastian and hugged him. Water cascaded over them, rinsing the suds from James. Sebastian cried into James’s shoulder, glad he could let it out. James didn’t rush him or try to tell him it was okay and not to cry. He let Sebastian be, and when Sebastian was done, James turned off the water and guided Sebastian out of the shower, wrapping him in a soft towel.

Sebastian leaned into James. Talking felt good. Even crying felt good. He felt so safe in James’s arms that he didn’t even consider holding back. “I didn’t know how to believe anyone would want me when the people who were supposed to couldn’t manage it. I was afraid I’d caused too many problems for you and that, in the end, I’d be alone again. If no one could choose me when I was a kid who’d done nothing wrong, how could anyone tolerate me when I came with this curse. But I believe you aren’t holding the curse against me and never will. It just took me a while.”

Sebastian blinked and looked James straight in the eye. “Before you, I don’t think I believed genuine trust was real. I didn’t think I’d ever give it to anyone, but I trust you, James, with everything I am.”

James gripped both Sebastian’s hands in his. “I’ll guard that trust with my life, Sebastian. I choose you.” He pressed their faces together, nose to nose.

“I know, and I finally believe it.” Sebastian gave him a tiny smile. “I’m yours. You’ve claimed me, and I’m never doubting you again.”

“Good.” James released Sebastian’s hands. “And just so you know, biting you was actually magic in disguise, so you’re stuck with me now. We’re bound together. No takebacks.” He almost delivered the line with a straight face, but he cracked, a laugh snorting out of his nose.

“No, it wasn’t.” Sebastian whipped off his towel and snapped it at James.

He jumped out of the way just in time, laughing fully now. “Might as well have been.”

“Na, it’s better this way.” Sebastian threw a fresh towel at James, disappointed he was going to cover up his glorious Speedo tan lines. They really accentuated his toned ass. “Your promise means more than magic.”

James puffed up his chest at that. He kissed the crook of Sebastian’s neck, where mouth-shaped bruises were staring to appear. Sebastian sighed. Nothing had ever been more romantic.

James seemed unable to stop peppering Sebastian with kisses as they dried off. On the way back to the bedroom, James caught Sebastian’s hand. “I was afraid to open up too, you know.” He tugged Sebastian close like he wasn’t ready to part. “I didn’t let anyone in. I resisted you at first because I resist everyone. Even when I was young, I tried to push my crushes away and did my best to ignore them. I never liked dating and didn’t want to connect with anyone in that way. Then, with you, I did want to, but I was still afraid to get attached to you.”

Sebastian traced James’s serious-lined brow. “Because you were afraid of losing me?”

“Yes. And that fear still hits me sometimes. But being trapped at Storm House with you forced me to face that fear in a way I’d avoided all my life. It also gave me a chance I never would have taken. Even though it was a crushing situation, I wouldn’t change it. Not when it allowed me to reach for you and open up in a way I’d always been afraid to.”

Sebastian’s heart pounded. “Really?”

“Yes. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t sacrifice for you, and you can’t throw any problem at me—no matter how big—that I’d give you up to solve. I’d choose to deal with the curse all over again to end up with you. Would not change a thing. I just wish you hadn’t been left alone for so long.”

“Of course not.” Sebastian couldn’t find it in him to be bitter about his confinement just then. It was over, and James was saying too many soul-shattering, loving things. “I wish I’d known you were back in Moonlight Falls sooner so I could have written to you years ago. You were the one I needed, James. Not anyone else.”

The furrow in James’s brow deepened. “But why? How did you know I would figure it out?”

“I didn’t.” Sebastian shrugged. “I just knew you were good. That you’d care about me. Or if you didn’t care, then no one would. And—more importantly—I had a massive crush on you.”

James’s eyes widened, and a smile broke through his thoughtful expression. “You did?”

Sebastian grinned wickedly. He wanted James to know how deep his feelings went, how far back through history they stretched. If James liked Sebastian enough to be glad he’d been trapped, to not want to wish away any of the stress of the past weeks, then Sebastian needed him to know his feelings were just as strong.

Sebastian cupped James’s face. “I’ve been pining for you since we were kids. It was always you, James. My first crush. My queer awakening. My light in the dark. My future.”

Tears clung to James’s lashes. “I wish we’d gotten together sooner.”

Sebastian kissed the tears away, as James had done for him. “Doesn’t sound like it would have worked out. We weren’t ready when we were younger.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Course I am.” Sebastian released James and swept back his damp hair. “Besides, seducing you as an adult isn’t something I’d want to give up for any teenage fumbling.”

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