Parker gave him a stern look. “So are you.”
Sebastian’s stomach twisted. “Just like that?”
“Why not?” Parker crossed his arms, a single brow raised.
“I mean, we hardly know each other, and I’ve trapped you in Moonlight Falls. I know James is your friend, but that doesn’t automatically extend to me.” Sebastian needed to stop talking. He wanted Parker as a friend and shouldn’t be trying to talk him out of it, but he wondered if challenging the other man’s acceptance was the only way he might believe it was real.
Parker stood firm. “It can automatically extend to you. I have no reason not to like you, Sebastian. I’m a simple guy, and James liking you is enough reason for me to want to get to know you.”
But it couldn’t be that simple. If it was, why had Sebastian been alone for so long? Even before he was trapped, he’d never had a strong group of friends. “I just don’t know how you all can act like I haven’t screwed up your lives. I’ve given you my curse and dumped all my problems on you.”
“Sebastian.” Parker’s serious expression turned disapproving. “You haven’t screwed up anyone’s lives. Being confined to Moonlight Falls isn’t ideal. It’s something I don’t want to last for the rest of my life, but even if it does, it’s a price worth paying for you to not be alone.”
Sebastian blinked. “You can’t mean that.”
“Why not? I bet Hazel, Eli, and James would all agree. The problem of the veins isn’t your responsibility. It’s a town issue with the potential to affect all of us, so we should all pitch in to solve it. And the four of us having to deal with the curse is better than you suffering alone. If the situation had been presented to me and I’d had the choice to leave you at that house so I could be free or accept the curse and give all of us a bigger cage, it wouldn’t have even been a choice worth thinking about.”
Sebastian squeezed the bag in his hands so tight his fingers cramped. “But you didn’t get a choice.”
“Neither did you. You don’t have to feel guilty, Sebastian. What happened to you is horrifying, and any of us would have made sacrifices to spare you from it.”
“Why?” Sebastian looked away. He was overwhelmed with feelings of unworthiness. He couldn’t believe anything Parker was saying. Parker got nothing out of making sacrifices for him. Maybe if James had said it, he might have entertained the possibility it could be true. James liked him. James enjoyed sex with him and wanted to take care of him, but even then, Sebastian had trouble trusting James at his word when his fears screamed at him not to.
Parker gave Sebastian a sad smile. “Because no one should be left alone, bearing the burden of keeping the town safe. All of us confined to Moonlight Falls is nowhere near as bad as one person cut off from literally everything. I could never sacrifice someone else to make my life more comfortable.”
Sebastian had never thought about it that way. He was astounded that Parker would be willing to give anything up for him. He almost didn’t believe that kind of selflessness was real.
No one ever gave anything up for him.
“I just don’t know why you care,” he mumbled.
“You’re worth caring about, Sebastian. You aren’t defined by your family’s curse. You’re with us now, and we’re not letting you go.” Parker clasped him on the shoulder in a firm, reassuring gesture.
Sebastian looked up and met Parker’s intimidating stare. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He wanted to keep asking why. He hadn’t earned this. It didn’t make any sense.
Sebastian took a step back, and Parker let his hand fall. Sebastian glanced around the kitchen, his skin crawling with discomfort. He wanted to leave, get away from these feelings. The only reason he didn’t scamper down the hall was because James was sitting in the backyard.
His distracted gaze landed on the crate of apples. “Should I make a pie for dessert?” Sebastian sounded as frazzled as he felt. When Parker didn’t immediately respond, he continued, “Or help cook? You helped me this afternoon, so just let me know what you need.”
“You don’t have to earn your keep,” Parker said as if he’d read Sebastian’s mind.
But he did. Otherwise, how could he be sure Parker wouldn’t change his mind and decide he wasn’t worth it. Sebastian was being given everything he wanted and couldn’t handle it. Parker’s friendship and frank acceptance were too perfect. It couldn’t be real. The idea that it could be was terrifying.
“Come out and sit with us.” Parker grabbed a corkscrew and opened the wine, then poured a glass for Sebastian. “Give this to James.” He pulled a beer out of the fridge.
Sebastian accepted the drinks.
Parker took two covered plates out of the fridge. “We want you here, Sebastian, and that’s not going to change.” He led the way out to the yard, and Sebastian followed.
James glanced over at them and smiled, a simple, tender expression just for Sebastian like he made James’s life better just by being there.
Why did Sebastian feel like he didn’t deserve any of this and therefore, it couldn’t be real? He had no reason to think Parker was lying to him. He could trust Parker, just as he could trust that James didn’t blame him for his parents’ accident. Sebastian had no reason not to take these honest men at their word. His skepticism and distrust came from his own self-doubt and he needed to stop giving it so much influence over how he reacted to things.
Maybe he didn’t have to feel so unworthy.
If Parker could believe Sebastian was worth sacrificing some of his freedom for, surely it wasn’t a foregone conclusion that everyone would resent him one day. Sebastian knew James wanted to take care of him and share a future with him. He wanted to take care of James too. He’d do just about anything for James, so why assume that sentiment didn’t go both ways? Everything James had shown him said he was committed and not about to abandon him.
There wasn’t a single solid thing to support Sebastian’s fears except for his own feelings of unworthiness. None of his interactions with James, Parker, Eli, or Hazel said Sebastian would lose these people’s support or that they found him in any way unworthy. He should be able to accept the facts in front of him and let go of the idea that the only way to get through life was to be ready for people to leave him.