Page 26 of The Cursed Sebastian Storm

Sebastian couldn’t help thinking James sounded disappointed. He had a strong urge to take his words back, to tell James he needed a drawer and some space in the closet because he was never leaving James’s side, let alone his house. But he couldn’t. He didn’t want to be that clingy, even if James would be accepting of such behavior after the isolation Sebastian had gone through. Sebastian needed to be independent. He needed to pull back from James enough to prove he’d be okay on his own, regardless of their relationship and whether it lasted. James couldn’t be his whole world.

And Sebastian knew he could do it. He’d been heartachingly independent until now, but he knew standing on his own and being alone weren’t the same thing, and to have a chance at keeping James in his life he probably needed a little space. At least enough so he could tell James the truth and deal with whatever happened afterward because as much hope as he had that their relationship would last, he harbored an equal amount of doubt.

Sebastian was always prepared for the worst. It was how he’d survived this long.

“I saw one of the town duplexes for rent when I was walking around today.” Sebastian climbed into bed. “I’ll call the landlord in the morning.” Hazel had given him an old phone of hers after the town meeting. All he needed was a pre-paid SIM card from the General Store, and he would be back in the modern world.

James nodded. “That’s a great idea.” He almost sounded convinced. “It will be nice for you to live in town after the last six years.”

Sebastian hated the idea of living alone, whether it was in town or not. “Totally,” he agreed anyway.

The next morning, Sebastian woke up alone in bed. The sink was running in the bathroom, and after a minute, James appeared in the doorway.

He frowned at Sebastian. “Sorry I woke you.”

“That’s okay.” Sebastian stretched.

“I was going to have a quick breakfast, then go for a swim at the rec center.” James scratched the back of his neck like he was suddenly unsure of his plan. “I mean, it’s been way too long since I was in the water. I usually go a few times a week.”

There was an awkwardness in the air. James sounded strained, but Sebastian wasn’t entirely sure why. James going for a swim was normal. Of course he’d want to get back in the pool after being stuck at Storm House.

Sebastian had the random thought that if they’d never escaped the house, he’d have built James a pool. He pushed the idea away and got up to pull on pants and a wrinkled T-shirt. “I’ll join you for breakfast before you go.”

James grabbed an athletic bag from the closet. “Yeah, of course.”

Downstairs, Sebastian wondered if he should talk to James now. Would it be better to do it before or after he moved out? He had the feeling sooner was better, but he also didn’t know if bringing up his parents’ deaths right before James went swimming was the right move. It might ruin his workout.

James got the coffee started and tossed a protein bar in his bag. Sebastian knew there would never be a good time for this conversation. He’d always find a reason not to say anything. But he had to do it. James deserved the truth. He deserved so fucking much, and Sebastian wanted to be as good for him as he could, even if he doubted it would be enough.

Maybe this would end like every other good thing in Sebastian’s life, but before it did, Sebastian had to try to do what was right.

“James.” Sebastian gripped the counter as his stomach twisted.

“Yeah?” James turned to face him, mug in hand.

Fuck this was hard. Sebastian had about a million reasons to change his mind running through his head. He didn’t have to tell James. It’s not like anyone else knew the truth. He wouldn’t get caught out. His selfishness might even be best. It would spare James unnecessary pain.

James set the mug down. “Are you all right?”

“No.” Sebastian tried to dig his fingers into the counter. He couldn’t lie or keep omitting the truth. If he did, he wouldn’t deserve James.

“What’s wrong?” James was at his side, a soothing hand snaking around his waist.

Sebastian pulled away. He couldn’t do this from the comfort of James’s arms. “You know how we’re going out to Storm House later? With Eli?”

“Yeah,” James said slowly, clearly not sure where this was going.

Sebastian swallowed. “It could be dangerous, and I have to tell you why.”

“Okay.” James’s brow crinkled. “But I don’t think Eli has to do much to examine the veins. It’s nothing like the magic we were doing. I’m sure it will be way less dramatic than when we were messing with the fuel cell.”

James needed to stop trying to comfort him.

“I didn’t tell you everything about the night they transferred the curse to me.”

James blinked in surprise. “Okay.” He waited.

“I mean, I did at the time. When I gave you my notebook,” Sebastian rambled, his heart rate picking up. “But when we found the instructions, I found something else and hid it.” This would have been so much easier if Sebastian had the article. He wouldn’t have to spell it out, but he figured his discomfort was punishment for the deception. If he’d done nothing wrong, he wouldn’t feel so guilty.

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