Page 18 of Confessions of an Apache Pilot

He raised his hand up and cut me off. My mouth fell open. Had he just shushed me? Well not verbally, but that’s what he did. My eyes narrowed dangerously.

He rolled his eyes as he spoke, “Taking this shit from men like you, who don’t believe in women, or whatever other bullshit line you want to use to justify the fact that you don’t like being criticized by men like me.” He leaned in so close I could practically feel his nose touching mine. His scent hit me and nearly buckled my knees. I had no idea that after combat sweat would be such a powerful aphrodisiac. I had to blink rapidly to get my mind to focus on him. “Listen closely. I don’t care that you’re a woman. I don’t care that you outrank me. I don’t care that this is your first deployment. I only care that you, your crew, and your passengers get home safely. You are my responsibility. You and your crew belong to me.”

Scott certainly never said anything like that. Maybe I was wrong about Mark?

He leaned back and drew in a deep breath before continuing, “Today’s failures were mine. Not yours. Tomorrow we will talk with the Green Beret commander, Captain Peralta, and between the three of us we will work out how not to let this happen again.”

With that he turned and started to walk away again. I was trying to make sense of what had happened when he hesitated and glanced at me over his shoulder. “It’s hard enough finding pilots that can follow protocol and follow a plan. It’s even harder to find people that look at the situation and think for themselves. I need pilots like you. Which means I need you to not get yourself killed,” he said. This time when he left, he didn’t stop and I let him go.

I had to sit down. I was quickly becoming an emotional roller coaster. Was that an ass-chewing or a pep talk? Did he just insult me or compliment me? My heart beat a rapid tempo against my rib cage and my tongue was swelling up like a dry sponge. How was he doing this to me? I replayed his response in my head, remembering his dark hazel eyes boring into mine, and I realized that I had been holding my breath from the moment he had stepped in close until he moved back. Mark Sheppard was by far the most complicated man I’d ever met.

CHAPTER 11

Jen

The smell of a hot grill and cooking meat hit us as we walked through the door to the chow hall. It was the next day, lunch time. We had our After-Action Review meeting for the previous night’s mission in about thirty minutes, which was plenty enough time for us to get some food and not have to deal with hungry, grumbling pilots during the meeting. I wasn’t looking forward to it, after seeing how bad things could have gone. I had to do it, I needed to know how to make things better. I certainly hadn’t helped matters by losing my shit on Sheppard after he’d stood up for me with the Colonel.

On the walk up to the chow hall I tried to recount with Laura what happened. “He got right in my face and was like, ‘you and your crew belong to me.’”

“Ha! Yeah, he’s very protective of his people, and just a touch possessive.” She looked at me, daring me to admit what we both knew. His possessiveness was hot.

To my surprise, Laura didn’t call me on it, instead she pressed on about the rest of our argument. “Did you try to play the woman card with him?”

“Woman card! You seriously think he would have spoken to a man the way he spoke to me?” I shot back at her.

“Of course not,” she said. I straightened up, feeling victorious. “No Honey, if you were a man he would have put his fist through your face for that bullshit you pulled. He must like you. Maybe he’s already decided that you belong to him.”

Bitch.

She winked at me. I could feel my cheeks redden from blushing at the thought. My mouth gaped, trying to come up with some retort, but Laura just turned and continued on, grabbing a tray. She got in line and started inspecting what food would be ready for us. It was clear this conversation was over.

“Oh my God, they have gyros today!” Laura screeched, shoving her way to the grill. One of the better kept secrets about deployment is that the Army goes all out for food. There’s a made to order grill in nearly every chow hall that has a different theme daily. I strolled over to her and decided that gyros sounded good. Stepping in behind her, I shook my head in bewilderment.

Her words were still running through my mind. Had Sheppard really taken it easy on me because I was a woman? I doubted it. He seemed like the type to hold anyone accountable. Was he really claiming me? That thought should make me angry, but I had to suppress a smile at the idea.

Laura glanced at me over her shoulder and gave me a sly smile. “Aren’t you excited to get some Greek meat in your mouth?”

I rolled my eyes at her while biting back a grin at her joke. She just couldn’t help herself. I wasn’t nearly as enthused as Laura was, but I wasn’t about to pass them up. Shoving the conversation we’d had out of my mind, I picked up a tray. I’d think more about it later, when I was alone. There was too much going on in the chow hall to concentrate.

We got our food and started looking for a table. We found some open seats, and as my luck would have it, it was next to Sheppard and his guys. My heart gave a nervous flutter, though my brain was already annoyed. There was no logical reason this man affected me like this. Being attracted to him made sense—he was a good looking man. It was the instant irritation he brought to the surface within me at one glance that was the problem. Why did I want to argue with him? It kept me off balance and I didn’t care for it.

They were talking with someone I hadn’t seen before. His uniform was different, Navy, but in camouflage. I inspected the patches and tags, he was a Navy Seal. His name tag said Barrett. I knew there was a detachment of Seals on the base, it shouldn’t surprise me to find the Apache guys being friendly with them. This Seal was an E-5, an enlisted man, Petty Officer Second Class was his rank. He was a fighter, not an officer.

Laura waggled her eyes at me and sat down next to them, leaving the seat across from Sheppard open. I sighed internally and followed her. We squeezed in the empty spots on the bench in between men. My shoulder brushed against one of Sheppard’s crew, but he and the Seal had caught my attention.

“I know you’ve been there, Chief. You try explaining to these people that you don’t just switch it off. You don’t go from seeing shit-heads daily to seeing normal people, right? And everyone you talk to out there is a liar, and you know that it’s going to end in a fight, but you can’t just take him out right there. You have to wait on him to make a move. One that could get you, or your men, killed. Then there’s the kids, any one of them could pull a gun, who wants to fight kids? And that waiting. Fuck. You know?” Petty Officer Barrett looked around the table at all of us. His pale blue eyes met mine, searching to see if I understood what he was saying. The Apache guys were nodding, but stayed silent. He seemed to be in the middle of a pretty long rant and they let him continue.

I decided to offer an olive branch. “You boys trading war stories?” I asked Sheppard with a small smile. The look he shot me was so intense that I felt it in my chest. It nearly knocked me out of my seat. I’ve never been told to shut my mouth so clearly as Sheppard did by just looking at me.

Petty Officer Barrett didn’t seem to notice and kept rambling on, more or less to the same theme. I studied him for a minute. He looked awfully young to be a Navy Seal. I didn’t know if they had an age requirement before trying out, but if they did he barely made it. He looked to be barely twenty, but maybe he had a young face.

Sheppard didn’t interrupt him, he just listened and threw in the occasional, “No, shit” and, “You’re right, someone who isn’t in uniform doesn’t get it. The staff officers certainly won’t ever get it. Assholes.”

I looked at Laura and she, shook her head with a slight ‘no’, telling me now was not the time for small talk. I’d never seen her so serious. I ate my gyro and decided to get out of there. Clearly, this wasn’t a conversation for MEDEVAC. I was one of those who helped the wounded. I didn't typically shoot at our enemies. Not that I wouldn't, but I wasn’t likely to be in that position.

“I’ll see you at the After-Action Review,” I said, as Laura and I stood up. Sheppard glanced at me briefly, then turned to Brady and Artie and nodded. They stood up and headed for the door, giving me a look that said to follow them. I did, wondering what was going on. Sheppard just kept talking with the Seal.

Once we were outside, Brady slowed and let us catch up. “Shep’s not joining us for the meeting. No worries though, I have all his notes ready.”

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