Page 65 of Confessions of an Apache Pilot

“I’ve haven’t been to Texas in a long time.”

“You’ll love it,” I told him with a grin. “It’s a lot like this place, in fact and you can crash with me.” I gave him a quick wink.

He shoved his hands inside his pockets and whistled. “Offering me a place to stay. Who knew you had it in you?” he joked. We both laughed.

What could I say? He had a point. I’d spent the majority of our time here desperately trying to avoid him and my feelings for him. That was the past. I was accepting the way I felt about him with open arms now.

He grinned and nodded. “Then it’s a plan. Looks like I’ll be visiting Texas.”

“Georgetown, Texas,” I clarified.

“Well at least you don’t live in Killeen.” A look of horror flashed over his face. “Or on Fort Hood, itself.”

“Oh God, no,” I laughed. “I know better than to live on base.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you,” he told me with a grin.

“My reasonable nature?”

He gave a mock frown. “Sure, we’ll go with that.”

I smacked him in the gut. His guys calling his name had us both turning back around. It was time to go back to MES.

CHAPTER 38

Jen

Now that Mark and I had worked things out and had come up with a plan, I was looking forward to getting home and settling in again. Something about knowing that he and I were going to continue our relationship outside of this made me feel almost giddy.

Someone shuffled forward and bumped into me from behind, knocking me out of my thoughts. They murmured an apology and I took a few steps forward.

I was back in the chow hall; it was my turn for lunch. I’d sat by the radios like I usually do while the rest of the crew went and got food. It was hard not to daydream as I stood there. I hadn’t seen Mark much in the last few days. They had back to back missions, and were busy from sun up to sun down, beyond really. We wouldn’t have a chance to spend any time together for a bit. Not until everything calmed down and they had some down time. That was the way this place worked, I’d come to find out. Weeks of insane action, followed by weeks of quiet. I’d gotten used to the ebb and flow.

The last month had been such a roller coaster—the entire deployment had been to be honest. It was sort of nice to sit alone and examine my feelings. I’d spent so much time running from him and my own emotions that it was strange to have fully accepted everything. Nothing made me happier than thinking about seeing where this relationship could really go. I had a feeling this was the one. This was the relationship—the man—who was going to be long-term for me. I could picture growing old with Mark. A warmth rose up inside me from my thoughts. It felt good to be in love.

“Hey, Captain, how are you?” A voice with far more cheerfulness than I was ready for boomed from behind me.

Jumping from the unexpected sound, I turned to see who was interrupting my love fest. It was Petty Officer Barrett, the Navy Seal who was Mark’s friend. He seemed so much happier and relaxed than when we first met.

“Hey, Petty Officer, I’m great. You’re in a good mood today.” I didn’t know him well enough to say what his moods generally were, but considering the state he’d been in the last time, it was safe to assume this wasn’t usual.

“No need to be so formal, call me Ricochet,” he said

“Alright, Ricochet. How have you been?” I asked

He smiled back at me. “Life has been a lot better lately.” Your friend Mark had a lot to do with that. Those were the words he didn’t speak. It was clear in his eyes, though. They had spent some time together over the last few months, and it was obvious to see that a lot of his troubles had been relieved. More proof that Mark was exactly who I thought he was. The man had a way of influencing everyone he met in a positive way. It made it easy to trust him. I wished I’d figured that out sooner, but it didn’t matter anymore. We’d turned a corner and there was no going back—not that I wanted to. I was fully invested. I doubted I could find a better man to trust my heart to.

We moved through the chow line and loaded our trays up. As we headed for a table I heard my name being called again.

Vasquez ran through the door and was calling for me. “Captain Walker!” I turned to acknowledge and see what the excitement was about. Dread swept through my chest at the look on his face. I didn’t get a chance to reply, as I made eye contact he shouted again, “Fallen Angel! It’s Sheppard.”

I didn’t ask him to repeat it. I didn’t ask ‘are you sure’. I didn’t set my tray down. It crashed to the floor, the sound echoing through the now silent chow hall. Every eye was on me, but my vision narrowed in on Vasquez. I was hoping he’d take it back, even though I knew he couldn’t.

The second he said, “Fallen Angel” everyone and everything disappeared around me. All I could hear was my heart thudding in my head. I wasn’t sure how that was possible when it was stuck there in my throat. Swallowing was difficult, speech was impossible. Luckily, neither were required. The only thing I needed was my helicopter. I charged past everyone and rushed for the door without looking around to see if anyone followed me.

Fallen Angel is every pilot’s worst nightmare. It meant that an aircraft had been shot down, or crashed in enemy territory. As soon as Vasquez notified me, I was placed in control of the Combat Search and Rescue mission. This situation was now my responsibility. No matter who it was out there, I’d have done everything in my power to find and extract them as quickly as possible. The fact that it was Mark’s aircraft just meant that my fear was weighing me down. I couldn’t lose him now. Not when we’d finally worked past all the roadblocks keeping us apart.

I slammed through the door and hit a dead run. It was only a few hundred meters from the chow hall to the flightline. It might as well have been a couple hundred miles. The path down there was downhill on a paved road. It was the same path I jogged every night.

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