Page 47 of Confessions of an Apache Pilot

I looked at him and he smiled at me, opening his mouth to speak. I cut him off. “I... Look.” I sighed heavily. “That was… great” I winced at my wording.

What the fuck are you doing, the little voice railed at me. I rarely listened to the helpful part of myself, instead I took the advice of the one who self-sabotaged most of my relationships. I knew it, but I couldn’t get myself to stop. My mouth was kind of doing its own thing at this point.

“We shouldn’t be doing this. Sorry, I just…”

Just sit your ass down next to him and talk about this. I shoved that though aside.

“I shouldn’t have been here.” My legs turned and walked me off, back to the barracks. Where are you going! The little voice cussed me out and called me a coward. I was in complete disarray. My whole body was conspiring against my heart. My pussy was still throbbing, and I could feel how soaked my panties were. He’d had me so turned on, with hardly any effort. My pussy was reminding me how close I’d been to another orgasm. I’m sure she would have an opinion about this later on, as well.

The only thing I was grateful for was that I always kept myself on long-term birth control. I had a feeling this was as unusual for Mark as it was for me, so I doubted we needed to worry about STDs, but I didn’t need to accidentally get pregnant on my first deployment. My thoughts plagued me as I escaped to my room.

CHAPTER 26

Mark

Isat at the edge of the MED copter and watched Jen stammer her way through her retreat.

“I shouldn’t have been here,” she said, and ran off toward the barracks.

I sighed. What the fuck is wrong with this woman? I thought, or maybe I had just hoped, that I was figuring her out. One minute, she had me so angry that I could choke her. The next minute, we were fucking against the side of a helicopter. It’s not like I had planned to have sex with her right now. In spite of being furiously mad at her, I was so relieved that she was okay. So relieved that I lost all control.

In the aftermath we should be sitting here talking, figuring out what we had going on. We’d been dancing around each other for months. This seemed like the inevitable conclusion, but the panic in Jen’s eyes when she’d tucked tail and ran told me she wasn’t ready for that conversation.

But hey, why try to figure it out when instead you can run off and leave a guy hanging? Literally. I still hadn’t pulled my pants up. I leaned forward and rested my elbows against my knees as I watched her figure hurriedly dart toward the buildings.

I heard footsteps from behind me. Before I could react, Brady appeared at the front of the aircraft, sized me up, then walked over and stood in front of me. “You come out here to jerk off, too?” He asked with a straight face.

I wrinkled my brow and looked at him in a combined look of shock and disgust. I honestly couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. With Brady, you never really knew.

He looked up and closed his eyes, taking in the cool air. “I like the way the cool air blows over my balls. So much more refreshing.”

I didn’t answer him, but my brows were all the way up at my hairline, and I’m pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. He stepped over and sat next to me. I managed to shut my mouth and kept looking forward, the direction that Jen had run off in. He hardly took notice that my pants were at my ankles.

“Brady?” I finally asked him. “You’re used to women doing strange shit, right? Especially after sex? I’m sure you’ve had one or two women run away from you right after you finish?”

He turned his head and gave me his usual suspicious look. “Like today? Sure.”

I snapped out of my daze and blinked at him in horror. I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. He had that effect on me more than I cared to admit. I shut my mouth.

He didn’t take any notice of my shock and continued. “Bitches are crazy.”

“Why do you think they run?” I asked, ignoring the mounting pile of questions he was generating in my head. Questions I did not want answers to.

He laughed. “Ha! It’s because they’re ashamed. They’ve built up this image of themselves in their head, then they realize they’re not who they thought they were. It turns out it's not you who’s the horny predator, it’s her. It’s not you that seduced her, it’s her who manipulated you into seducing her. They know it, whether they’ll admit it or not.” He laughed again. “Then she realizes, he’s not the creep for sticking his finger in my ass, I’m the creep for liking it. After they realize that, they run.”

I looked at him again and slowly shook my head, “Brady, that was, mostly, surprisingly insightful.” Delivered in a way that would have most people cringing, sure, but sort of made sense. I’d long since given up on trying to understand my friend and now just accepted who he was.

“I mean, I know I’m a creep, and I’m not ashamed. I accept me for me. Chicks need to realize it's okay to be a creep.”

“And it's gone. Thanks Brady. You’ve been…” I forced a smile, “creepy.”

“Also, never leave the tits untouched. Something goes boink in their brain if you don’t touch them enough during sex. Don’t know why.”

I blinked a few times. I didn’t touch them did I? I was so caught up that I skipped right past them. I couldn’t process the emotions that were raging inside of me, and I certainly couldn’t handle Brady’s advice right now.

That can’t possibly be true. Out loud I said in a hesitant voice, “Thanks.”

The wind picked up a gentle breeze. Brady stood and dropped his pants. I decided that was my cue to go. Standing up, I hesitated for a minute. He was right, the breeze did feel good on my balls. In the morning I would have to deal with this, talk to her. I could go after her tonight, but that would probably make it worse. For now, I would just enjoy the breeze.

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