Page 31 of Confessions of an Apache Pilot

I don’t know how long we stood there. People were moving in and out of the Ops Center, asking questions and making radio calls. I didn’t hear any of it. The sound from both people and radios was mostly a buzzing sound. I was fixated on the video feed. My hand was still on Jim, but I could barely tell it was there. The world around us had dropped off and all that was left was the screen.

They were holding the attackers back, but it seemed that as soon as one area was under control, more would show up on the other side. The feeling of inevitability was creeping in. They were outnumbered. At some point the attackers will… I couldn’t bring myself to finish the thought. I just watched. The silence seemed endless. Stretching out for what felt like hours.

Through the din and chaos something caught my attention. Something out of place in all the commotion. Static at first, then a voice. His voice.

“Godfather six, Archer zero-nine. Three-minute ETA. Need you to identify the nearest threat.” With that transmission I was slammed back into reality. The noise of the Ops Center was back at full volume.

I knew he’d left. That he and his crew had run to the aircraft, no questions asked. No “Are you sure?” or, “What do we do?” They just ran. Straight to the danger. Nothing but action. I knew it all, but I was so absorbed in the fight, so scared for Jim and Junior that it never occurred to me that help was on the way.

The drone shifted the center of its camera to a group of seven men nearing the perimeter wall. It was close to the tower that Junior was in. A moment later there was an explosion. The seven attackers had seemingly vanished. That was what happened when a hellfire missile, shot from an Apache, hit you. You vanished. A dark smile grew on my face. These insurgents were about to learn that they’d made the biggest mistake of their lives tonight. The only mistake they’d ever make again. The tightness in my chest eased the tiniest bit.

The camera jumped to another group. Five men. Again, an explosion. Godfather, the drone, was designating targets for the Apaches. Mark and his team were wiping them out. Big groups first, followed by the small groups.

I breathed what might have been the largest sigh of relief of my life. In minutes, the Apaches had turned the tide of this attack. Jim sat down, but kept watching. He must have been emotionally exhausted. However, he was noticeably relieved, as well. The color had returned to his face. I stayed through the whole fight. Watching as the drone picked out targets one by one, and how Mark and his team engaged them, swiftly and efficiently. When they were out of missiles, they used rockets. When they were out of rockets, they used the guns. They fought until they were out of ammo. And still Mark and his team didn’t leave them.

The night crew was already on the way. They had finished their mission and were headed to relieve Mark. Being out of ammo didn’t mean a thing. Just like with Jim, nothing but the next crew arriving was going to force Mark and his team to leave. They made low passes to scare the remaining forces into hiding, or to draw fire away from the base. They took the risk onto themselves, so that the more vulnerable on the ground wouldn’t come under fire.

My throat closed up, nearly choking me with emotion. They would do whatever was necessary for our brothers on the ground to live through this. Once again, I was reminded of the difference between him and my ex. Scott had never seen combat, and as an officer he wasn’t likely to. Something told me he wouldn’t use himself to hold off an attack for anyone else’s sake.

The whole time Mark was the epitome of calm and collected, his voice reassuring over the radio. No cursing, no excitement. It was exactly what was needed. The ground forces, moments ago facing being overrun, were brought to his level of calm. His deep, gravelly, voice kept his team under control, and it seemed to work on everyone listening within the Ops Center as well. Including me. Especially me.

The chaos had died down. Everyone was communicating in even, undisturbed tones. No one was talking over each other on the radio, cutting off transmission. How could you do anything but respect a man who was able to take control of a situation like that? To help others perform at their peak, instead of dissolving into disarray?

I’d been on the receiving end of that calm voice, but I hadn’t appreciated what it was he did. The effect that the Apaches had on the battle space was absolute. It was final. No wonder the Green Berets and the others were so excited to have them on their missions. When an Apache team was overhead it brought in a level of reassurance that no one else could match. A sense of impending victory. That’s why Jim was sitting down, relaxed. It’s why I was beginning to loosen up.

The fight wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. There was still danger to the men in Pamir, but the sense of helplessness was gone. I watched as the second team came in. Mark was on his way back to rearm and return to the fight.

I stayed with Jim until the battle was over. I heard on our radios that Mark was back at our base, refueling before shutting down. Still I waited until Jim got a call from Junior. It had calmed down enough that Junior was able to get onto the radio and tell Jim that everything was okay. Jim sent me an appreciative look as he answered the call. It was all that was needed. I left him to speak with his son in relative privacy.

Before I knew it my feet had brought me outside, walking out to the aircraft parking area. The cool night air blowing over me helped bring my nerves down to a normal setting. I was on autopilot, going where my heart was leading. That pesky organ had taken over my legs. Soon enough I was on the flightline, walking toward Mark. I found him at his helicopter, tying it down. He was still in his gym clothes. He’d never bothered to change into his uniform. There hadn’t been time. I knew for a fact if he’d been sleeping when that call had come in, he’d be out here in his birthday suit if that’s what was required.

A look of surprise flashed over his face as he turned and caught sight of me. “Oh, hey Jen, uh Captain, didn’t hear you coming.”

After my last disappearing trick the awkwardness between us was creeping back in. I could tell because he wasn’t sure what to call me. My plan, my determination, keeping my distance, none of that mattered right now. As someone who rushed into dangerous situations to help those most vulnerable, I recognized that quality in him as well. He did it differently than me, by going on the offensive, while I was more of a defensive player, but we were both on the same team. A level of connection I’d never experienced before was thrumming through me, and I couldn’t do anything but listen to what my heart was urging me to do.

I opened my mouth to respond, to tell him how amazing he’d been. That I was so grateful he’d helped those men and women at that base tonight. How I hadn’t realized just what he’d done for me, for my crew, for everyone they flew for, until now. I wanted to tell him a lot of things. I said nothing. It all got stuck in my throat.

Unable to voice my feelings, I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. He tensed under me as our mouths touched, but otherwise we both remained motionless. I didn’t know who was more surprised, him or me. His lips were firm against mine, and if I hadn’t been so shocked that my body had reacted without my mind’s permission, I would’ve melted into the heat of his body.

Slowly, his arms crept around me, holding me tightly against his chest. He took control of the kiss and fitted his lips against mine more securely. He was moving slowly, giving me a chance to change my mind. I should, but I’d wondered for so long how this would feel, that I couldn’t bring myself to break it off early. This might be the only chance I would get to kiss Mark and now that I was here, I was going to take advantage of it.

My body softened, melting against his. He was all hard planes of muscles. His lips brushed once, twice, over mine as he rubbed our mouths together. A deep rumble vibrated through me as he groaned.

One of his hands came up, gripping my chin, angling my head so he could fit us together even closer. I wasn’t sure how it was possible. My heart was drumming in my ears, blocking out all sound from around us. I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The arm that was wrapped around my waist tightened and I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped as his tongue licked the seam of my lips.

He didn’t ask for permission, his tongue invaded, filling my mouth, making me moan as every desire I’d had over the last month surfaced. The world spun as he maneuvered me around until I pressed back against cool metal.

The stark contrast between that and the heated skin underneath my fingertips kept me off balance. I was kissing him back, letting him do whatever he wanted with me. Lust sizzled through my veins, arrowing down to the juncture between my thighs. I shifted on my feet, restless and aching, and gasped again as my hard nipples brushed against his chest. The fact that I had on my t-shirt and bra meant nothing. The only thing that would feel better than rubbing myself against him would be if his mouth was on those hard points, teeth raking, tongue soothing. Oh God.

I was losing myself. It was divine, but I was losing the control I’d fought so hard for since I’d gotten here. The question was, did I care? My head dropped back as Mark broke off the kiss. His lips traced over my cheek, across my jaw and latched onto my neck. My eyes nearly crossed as he did exactly what I’d been imagining earlier. He bit the column of my neck, then brushed his tongue over the spot, easing the sting.

My pussy clenched and I rolled my head to the side, giving him more access. Giving in to the passions he stirred up inside of me. I’d deal with the fallout later. For now, I couldn’t seem to stop.

A loud clanging crash as something dropped to the ground broke through the haze of my desire. We both froze, our chests brushing as we panted in each other’s arms. We were listening in the dark for some threat.

Male laughter and voices floated through the air and it had the same impact on me as if Mark had tossed me in an icy lake. I jerked to the side, breaking out of his hold and moving along the side of the aircraft. What had I been thinking?

Frowning, I chided myself. I hadn’t been. I’d let emotion get the better of me and had ended up tossing myself at the poor man. Not that he seemed to be complaining, but still. It was embarrassing. My cheeks were flooding with heat, as I stumbled away from him. “I-” What the hell could I even say.

---