Page 114 of Company Ink

"Alright, bitch, listen up," Axel says, circling the couch and sitting down beside me. "Luce explained everything, and I speak forall of uswhen I say, fuck Adrian. Fuck him! Total and utter fuckboy."

I press my lips into a thin line, shaking my head. "Why are you guys here?"

Kai scoffs. "Honey, when you're hurting, we're hurting. And I for one am not a masochist, so let's cheer up, okay?" He hands me a container. "Now, we brought you food from all your favorite restaurants. We have Indian, Thai, and Japanese. What will it be?"

I look up warily at Monique who hasn't said a word yet. "Are you going to tell me I told you so?" I ask quietly.

Monique tilts her head. "Cassie, I'm not going to kick you when you're down."

I purse my lips, pouting. "Maybe I need it."

Monique takes a seat in the armchair and places her container on the coffee table. "Maybe this is a sign, Cass. Maybe you need to be on your own for a while. Get yourself organized. Figure out what you want from life. What's important and what's not."

Axel blows a raspberry. "Fuck that, she needs to drink! Go out! Get her mind off of everything."

Kai nudges his boyfriend. "Axel, stop. Monique's right."

"No, she's not!" Axel exclaims. "This is Cassie! She'll cry, she'll drink, and then she'll be good as new in a few days, right Cass?"

God, is that what I do? Is that how I deal with shit? How childish. How...immature.

"Look, I appreciate you all coming over, but I feel like being alone right now." I reach for Lucy's laptop. "I need to send out a few more resumes."

Usually when I feel down and upset, being around friends always helps. Not this time though. This time is different. This time hurts more. Way more.

Monique stands up and walks over to me, giving me a kiss on my temple. "I'll be at Matt's if you change your mind, okay?" No arguments. No questions. I love her.

Axel's mouth drops. "That's it? I thought we'd get day drunk? Hit the farmer's market. Go clubbing?"

Kai rolls his eyes. "Babe, it's like 11 am right now."

"So?" Axel crosses his arms.

Kai shakes his head. "We'll be here when you're ready, okay Cass?" he says, pulling Axel to his feet. "Call us."

Axel lets out a loud groan. "Boo...this, sucks."

Kai gives me a hug, Axel...a half-assed hug. He's clearly disappointed by my lack of clubbing enthusiasm. I wave goodbye to my friends and open the laptop.

My phone vibrates on the coffee table. He's calling again? Really? It's been nonstop since last night. Once I was in bed, the phone wouldn't shut up. Call after call. Text after text. I had to turn it off so I could sleep.

I pick up my phone and read the messages.

Adrian: Cassie, please call me

Adrian: I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. There's so much you don't know. I can explain

Adrian: Let's meet and talk

Adrian: Cassie?

Adrian: Cassie, please...

I roll my eyes and slam my phone down. No. I'm sending out resumes today and that's all. No Adrian. No talking. No boys. Just work. A job. This is now my only task. The only thing that will fill my thoughts.

I spend the rest of the day applying to dozens of jobs. Some in California. Some in Texas. I even sent a resume to Toronto. I hear Canada is nice. Polite. Why not? I write cover letter after cover letter. Anything to distract me.

By 5 pm, my fingers are cramped and my eyes bloodshot. I need my glasses. I have literally nothing here.

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