Page 98 of Company Ink

"Yes, it is!" I cry. "Why does everyone say it's not? If I didn't forget the fucking cake, she would be in Europe right now, studying ancient ruins and dating Frenchmen. But she's not! She's at home, painting, going to rehab!"

"You need to forgive yourself," Blake pleads. "You told me that anger is an expensive luxury, that it's best to let it go. Forgive yourself."

I grind my teeth. "I'm not angry with anyone!"

"Yes, you are." Blake tilts his head. "You're angry with yourself."

"She could've died, Blake! Died!" I shake my head. "Stop trying to make me feel better. It's not going to work." My heart clenches. "Life is precious, you only get one, I took Ness's from her. Fifteen seconds, Blake, everything can change in fifteen fucking seconds." God, Iammad. I'm so angry right now.

"It isnotyour fault, Cassandra," Blake repeats himself, steady, calm, unwavering.

"Why do you bother making plans?" I ask, my hands shaking. "What's the point of planning so far into the future, huh? You don't know what's going to happen. It's so stupid. Ness had plans. She had so many plans...so many—"

Blake studies me intently before asking, "Is that why you don't make plans? Why you prefer to be spontaneous? Because you're scared?"

"What?" I'm paralyzed by his question. "I'm not scared."

"It's okay to be," he says. "It's normal."

"I'm not scared! I'm never scared. This has nothing to do with me!" I let out a deeply frustrated grumble. "This has nothing to do with you! I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this. You don't know me. You don't know Ness." I grab an oar and begin paddling.

"Cassie, what're you doing?" Blake asks, his tone still stupidly calm.

"I'm going back to shore!" Who does he think he is? Telling me how I feel?

"You're rowing too hard," he warns me. "Slow down."

"No! I don't want to be around you anymore." I plunge the oar deep into the ocean, using all my arm muscles to push the damn thing.

"Cassie, stop."

"No!" I fight with the ocean, the boat beginning to rock.Almost there!The oar splashes down, water ricocheting into my eyes. I blink, my body swaying and then we flip.

Fuck! Are you fucking kidding me? I gasp for air, my head bobbing up and down, my clothes soaked through, so cold.

"Are you okay?" Blake asks, swimming towards me.

"No! You flipped the canoe!"

"Me? Are you kidding me right now? I told you to stop!"

I groan, doggy paddling towards the shore. "I didn't ask you to come with me!"

"So, I should've just let you go out into the open ocean alone when you were clearly having a panic attack? Oh, my bad, Cassandra. I'll remember that for next time!"

"Just shut up!" Fuck, it's hard to swim when you're wearing a full fucking outfit.

"Gladly!" Blake barks as we approach the dock.

Using all the strength I have left, I pull myself up, Blake follows. "Have a nice day!" I huff.

"What about the canoe?"

"You're a smart guy, right? Have a lot of insights? Figure it out!" I march down the dock, ignoring the odd looks from passersby.

I slam the door to my room. Kitty must still be in art class.Good!This is so fucked up. I hate him. Me? Scared? God, I can't believe I thought I liked him. He doesn't even know me.

I grab my phone off the dresser and text Adrian.

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