Page 97 of Company Ink

"Cassandra! Stop! What're you doing?"

"Go away!" I cry, stopping by the dock. "Leave me alone." Two hands grab my shoulder and I look up to meet a set of worried, milky eyes. "Go away, Blake."

"No," he whispers. "What's wrong? What's going on? Are you okay?"

"My chest hurts," I cry. "I can't catch my breath. Oh my God."

Blake wraps his arms around me, tugging me plush against his body. His warmth and sweet oaky cologne fill my senses. "Just breathe, Cassandra. I think you're having a panic attack. Just breathe."

Breathe.

"No!" I push him away. "I don't deserve to breathe. I don't. I can't be here. I need to go. I need air." I jog down the length of the dock towards the canoes.

"Cassandra, stop. You can't go out alone. Not like this," Blake says, catching up to me.

"I don't care. I can't be here," I say, jumping down into the rickety green boat.

"Then I'm coming with you," Blake says, slowly stepping into the canoe.

"I don't care," I whisper. "We need to go.Now."

"Okay, just calm down, I'm untying us."

I drop my head to my knees, squeezing my eyes shut. The party. The cake. The car. The blood. So much blood. Red. Everywhere. It's okay. She's okay. Relax. Please relax.Please.

One minute.

Two.

Three.

It's quiet now. Just water splashing along the side of the boat. Seagulls. The wind.

"Cassandra...are you okay?" So quiet. Like a whisper.

I lift my head up, wiping my eyes. "I'm fine," I say lifelessly, looking around, we're not too far from the dock but it's calmer here. Safe.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks gently.

"No."

"Are you sure? A little birdy once told me it's good to talk things out," he smiles warmly.

My eyes scan his face. I did say that. I do say that. But I don't want to. I can't.

"You can tell me, Cassandra. I'm here," Blake whispers, clipping the oars to the sides of the canoe. "What happened?"

I lick my lips, my eyes watering again. "It's my fault Ness has a brain injury...It's my fault. I forgot the cake. If I just didn't forget..." Memories of that monstrous day flash through my mind. "It was my friend's birthday, it was raining so hard," I continue in a hushed tone. "We were all meeting at our house. I was supposed to pick up the cake at the bakery across the street, but I forgot, I was running late already. I'm always late.

"When I got upstairs, Ness reminded me. I needed to shower still, Ness said she'd go get it. I agreed. It was just across the street. Thirty seconds away...

I blink away the tears. "It only took fifteen seconds for the car to hit her. We heard a crash and looked out the window. I saw her—I saw her laying there... The driver wasn't even drunk, he just hydroplaned... Ness was—"

"Cassie, you can stop," Blake whispers. "You can stop."

"It's my fault."

"It'snotyour fault, Cassie. It was an accident. A horrible accident. You couldn't have known," he reassures me. "And Ness is okay, Cassie. She's okay."

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