Page 96 of Company Ink

"Let's begin," Mandy whispers. "I'd like you all to close your eyes. Start relaxing your muscles. If any thoughts come to your mind, disregard them, turn your attention back to your body."

Thoughts. So many thoughts. Adrian. Blake. My parents. Ness. No. I'm disregarding. Go away.

"Relax your muscles, set them free. From your feet... your ankles.... your legs.... your torso....your arms.....your neck.....your head. Feel your body, you're relaxed, you're safe."

My mind is blank, I can feel the rhythmic beating of my heart. Relaxed. I'm relaxed.

"Now focus your attention on your breath. In and out.In... and...out."

I take deep breaths for what feels like hours, my chest rising and falling, my body light.

"Notice every breath but don't try and control it. Just observe it..."

"Just breathe.... breathe naturally...breathe slowly... just breathe..."

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Just breathe, Cassie.

Cassie, it's okay. It's okay, Cassandra. She's okay.

Cassie, you need to breathe.

Where is she? I need to see her.

Tears, so many tears. Blinding me. I can't see.

Blood.

Blood everywhere.

On my clothes, in my hair, on the street.

My hands.

My fault. It's my fault. I'm so sorry Lucy. I'm so sorry.

Cassandra, breathe. She's in surgery. You can't go in there.

No. Stop. I need to see her. Where is she?

No. No.

No!

My eyes spring open, my palms sweating. My heart.Oh my God. I grip my chest, rocking back and forth. I'm having a heart attack. I can't breathe. I can't.

I scramble to find my shoes, shoving them under my arm and running out of the room. My head spins. I need air. Fresh air. I rush outside, stumbling down the stairs. What is happening? No. I don't want to see it again. God, I'm so sorry Vanessa.

"Cassie!"

I ignore it, running down to the dock, everything's muffled, everything's blinding. Hurt. Pain. My heart. Oh my God, Ness. No. I'm so sorry.

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