Page 15 of Company Ink

The first thing I did when we met up for lunch was explain the Adrian situation to my aunt and Ness. They've both been my human diaries ever since I had my first kiss in their treehouse when I was twelve. Compared to me, Vanessa was a late bloomer. She didn't have her first boyfriendorkiss until we started high school. She was always the more studious one. The number of times my dad would say 'Why can't you be more like Ness?' is in the hundreds. My mom tried to defend me but to no avail. For some reason, Dad couldn't fathom the idea of boys being more important than schoolwork. I'm not sure how he managed to convince my mom to marry him, seeing as the man has less charm than a day-old bagel.

I whip my head towards Vanessa. "Ness, do I ever have any regrets?" I ask my cousin who shakes her head, her eyes lighting up. "That's right!" I smugly smile at Lucy. "No regrets, only lessons."

Lucy rolls her eyes, placing two twenty-dollar bills on the table. "You know I hate it when you use my own adage against me," she says in a playful yet scolding tone. "I'm just saying to be careful. We don't need another Benjamin situation."

I knew she would bring that up. "That was barely a situation!"

"Cassie, you slept with your co-worker, and then it got weird and you two couldn't even be in the same room together after that."

"It wasn't weird because we slept together," I correct her. "It was weird because he told me heloved mea weekafterwe slept together."

Ben seemed like a totally normal dude when we went for drinks after work that one time. Four martinis later we were in his apartment making enough racket to wake the whole neighborhood. I thought it was just a quick fling, but I guess poor Benji had been crushing on me for a year. How the hell was I supposed to know that though? In the two years we worked together he'd only said a total of ten words to me, most of them hellos and goodbyes. I'm not a mind reader for God's sake. Needless to say, it got a little bit awkward after that. Every time I was in the break room, he'd run out of there like I was a walking plague.

"Be that as it may... this situation's... awfullysimilar," Lucy observes, walking around the table and helping Ness stand up. Even though her motor skills were largely impacted by the accident, she doesn't require a wheelchair or a walker, only the support of her mom.

I roll my eyes. "I'm a big girl, Luce. I can make my own decisions. Plus, this thing with Adrian is purely physical. He really doesn't strike me as the type of man to fall in love after a night of banging."

Lucy closes her eyes. "Did you just saybanging?" she asks, causing Ness to let out a quiet laugh.

Winking at my cousin, I shrug shamelessly and swing my purse over my shoulder. "Well, I'm not going to saymaking love."

Lucytsksat me as we exit the restaurant. "Is that because you've never been in love?"

My mouth gapes open. "I've been in love," I exclaim, my voice wavering.

"Really? With whom?"

I bite the inside of my cheek trying to muster up a name, but no one comes to mind. "Whatever," I huff, my irritation spiking. "Love is overrated anyway. It always leads to disappointment."

I help Lucy open her car door and Vanessa slides into the passenger seat. "Honey, there are different types of love. Not every man you meet is going to be like your father."

"What? Ew—" My lips tilt downward into a deep frown. What is she implying? "I know that."

"Do you?" Lucy asks, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. "Are you sure?"

I sulk for the rest of the afternoon thinking about Lucy's oh-so-cryptic comment.

I've been dating for over ten years. I must have been in love at some point...right?

I'vesaidI love you before, granted to only two people. James, who was my boyfriend in high school. He was the captain of the hockey team and I was going through a major phase where athletes brought me to my knees; in James's case—quite literally. We dated for a year but then broke up after I caught him fondling Kelly Pillar's breasts behind the bleachers at homecoming. I was so pissed off that I did what any reasonable sixteen-year-old would do—I slept with his best friend.

The other person I said I love you to was Cameron. He was an RA at WSU. He was devastatingly handsome, plus a couple of years older, which was the reason why things ended. He moved to Phoenix for work and that was that.

But did I actually love them? Or was it an infatuation? If I'm being honest with myself—I don't think I knew. I never fully let them in. I never let anyone in. Why would I? My life is perfect the way it is. I don't need the complication offeelingstampering with my happiness.

I've seen what falling in love can do to someone. Monique and her ex-boyfriend were inseparable for years. YEARS. He made her all these promises: we're going to move in together, we're going to get a dog, we're going to get married. And what does he do? He fucking cheats on her with one of ourbest friendsat the time. That's what love gets you: pain. Monique's convinced that Nick breaking her heart was a blessing, because she met Matt eight months later, and now, they're head over heels in love, but that doesn't cancel out the months of tears. Monique is a stronger person than I am,and that heartbreak destroyedher, if it happened to me, I'd die.

I grumble, walking to the water cooler in the center of the office to fill up my bottle. I am so mad at Lucy for shoving this topic on me. I thought I was going to lunch with my aunt, not goddamn Mrs. Freud.

As I pull my bottle away from the nozzle, I catch the door to the Managing Partner's office slam shut. Nancy runs down the hallway, stacks of documents in her hands, and her eyes wide with stress.

Jesus, who is this man? Stalin?

I still haven't met this aloof Mr. Pearson. I thought he would introduce himself at some point within my first two days, but I've only seen the back of his head three times in passing. It's just as well, based on how frantic Nancy looks throughout the day, I'm okay putting that meeting off for a while.

On the way back to my desk, I pass Adrian's office and catch his piercing gaze.Fuck, why does he have to look at me like that?With one index finger, he motions for me to come into his office. I take a deep breath and twist the door handle. I wonder what this is about. Hopefully, I didn't make any errors on the documents I've been cataloging.

"Cassie," he begins as I close the door behind me. "Is something wrong?"

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