Page 43 of Forever Wild

“My ex-girlfriend, Alexis, was…” Shit. How do I explain how taken in I was by her? How I loved her and she was fucking other guys for a year before I caught her?

Bryn’s still staring at me, a downcast look on her face, so I force myself to continue. “She was using me. The whole time. She moved in with me. She bought a fuckton of clothes and shoes and all kinds of other shit using my money. She used my name to make connections and get invited to the most important events everywhere.”

I drag my hand through my hair, feeling that same sense of bone-deep despair that I always do thinking about it, but Bryn squeezes my other hand briefly, just letting me know she’s still there.

I glance at her, and she shoots me a grimace. “Well, Alexis sounds like a shitty person.”

“Yeah. Turns out she was. She was also fucking every B-list celebrity she could find when I was away at tournaments.”

“So a shitty person and, clearly, a certifiable idiot if she was willing to risk being with you to sleep with, who? Jonas Charmon?”

A small chuckle escapes me at Bryn’s mention of one of the other golfers on the tour. A good guy, but he never seems to be in the top 10 and only makes the cut about a third of the time.

Sighing, I shake my head. “I don’t think Jonas was ever one of her targets. From what I put together after—when I obsessed over it all—it was mostly high-risk, high-return guys. Ones who aren’t famous now but definitely could be in the future. I found out because I came home half a day early from a training session with my coach and walked in on her and Newson, the backup quarterback for the Dolphins, going at it on our kitchen island. My kitchen island.”

“That sucks, Jameo. I’m really sorry that happened to you. And, honestly, it explains a lot about your golf game last year.” She looks down at her hands. “But I still don’t really understand why you cared so much tonight. Do you think I’m cheating on you? Can you not tell how much I like you?”

“Bryn, I’m…sorry.” I know it’s not enough, but I don’t know what to say.

She looks up at me, and I see the tears starting to form in her eyes. “Do you know how humiliating it was to stand there with you while you read through my sister’s texts about what the town thinks of us? Not because it was funny, but because you actually wanted to know. You needed to know what they thought about us.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you in front of your friends. It wasn’t my intention. It’s just that”—I take a deep breath—“the worst part about the Alexis thing is that my family and friends told me. They obviously didn’t know she was cheating on me, but they knew she wasn’t good for me. They could see the way that she used me without actually caring about me as a person.”

Her thumb is stroking mine now, a warm, comforting presence that encourages me to continue. “When I told Lila about a purse Alexis had given herself ‘as a gift from me for being gone so often,’ she lost her fucking shit and blatantly told me to break it off. But it seemed fair to me. I was gone”—I look at Bryn, making sure she hears this part—“I am gone all the time. So I ignored Lila. A few months later, I was home visiting my parents, a trip Alexis was supposed to be on with me but had canceled at the last minute, and my mom pulled me aside and gave me a whole speech about what love really is and how sometimes people just aren’t a good fit for one another.” I sigh, still ashamed when I recall how I treated my mom during that conversation. “I got mad and stormed out.”

I glance outside, watching a leaf blow across the street. Bryn sits there in a friendly silence, giving me the space to say what I need to say.

“So anyway, they all knew she was wrong for me. Even fucking JT—who knows absolutely nothing about women and relationships—knew she was a terrible girlfriend. But not me. I couldn’t see it. I was so blind that I thought I fucking loved her.” I look at Bryn again, trying to gauge how she’s taking all this. It definitely doesn’t paint me in the best light, but hopefully it helps her understand why I couldn’t walk away tonight.

“And so tonight you saw an opportunity to double-check. To see if everyone else could tell something about us that you were missing,” she says.

“I am sorry, B. I couldn’t not see what these people who have known you your whole life had to say about us together. I saw how annoyed you were, and it only made me feel more compelled to see what they had to say. Like you knew it would say something bad and so you didn’t want me to read it. But”—I flash her an embarrassed smile—“turns out, you may have been trying to save me from reading everyone’s assumptions about how big my dick is and if I’m boring in bed or not.”

She lets out a quiet laugh. “There is a strong division in this town about whether professional golfers are as boring in bed as their sport is. And, if you consider the average age of a professional golfer, I’m on Team Boring…on average.”

I smirk at her. “Oh, I assure you, I’m well above average. In all aforementioned measures.”

She blushes, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink, and I pull her knuckles to my mouth, giving her hand a quick kiss. “Can you please forgive me for tonight? I promise, if I ever want to know what you are thinking or how you are feeling in the future, I’ll ask you first.”

She purses her lips, considering it. “Fine. I forgive you, as long as you promise never to trust gossip over me again.”

“Promise,” I say.

“Then it’s a deal.” She nods, letting go of my hand and opening the door before gracefully hopping down from the pickup.

I jump out my side and race around to meet her at the sidewalk. She raises one eyebrow and asks, “Oh, are you inviting yourself in now?”

I grab her hand and smile down at her. “We can hang out on the porch if you want, but yeah, I’m not ready for tonight to be over. Plus, I still want to have a conversation about the casual part of our casual official dating.”

“Yes?” she asks suspiciously as we walk toward the swing and sit down.

“I think we should drop it. This doesn’t feel casual to me.”

“It doesn’t feel very casual to me either,” she says.

“So officially dating?”

“Officially dating,” she confirms. “You can change your Facebook status and everything.”

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