Page 24 of Out of Focus

It’s an ADHD thing. You can look it up if you want.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

I look at the time stamp and notice the first couple of texts were sent over three hours ago. Shit.

ME:

Sorry, I didn’t have my phone on me. You can ask whatever you want.

And I know about RSD. I have ADHD, too.

Before I’ve even hit send on that second message, three little dots appear on the screen.

CHARLIE:

Is reading these text messages difficult for you?

Because I’ll stop texting if this is frustrating or whatever.

You have ADHD, too????

I should have seen the signs, but without context, reading people can be hard. Thanks, autism.

And I know it can present differently in men vs women.

ME:

No. Texting is fine, and if I’m tired, I just have my phone dictate it to me so I don’t have to read it. Or I’ll send back voice notes, if that’s okay.

Handwriting is tricky because the letters are different and inconsistent. Things sort of blur together, and it’s hard to make sense of it all. Even my own handwriting is awful and makes no sense.

CHARLIE:

Okay. That’s good to know.

Is that why you listen to books?

ME:

I read them sometimes, but I prefer listening to them, and I also like to read and listen at the same time.

But since I like to move around a lot, listening while running is a way for me to multitask two things I like.

CHARLIE:

Ohhhh.

Yeah, I don’t have the hyperactivity thing.

Not physically, anyway.

Just mentally.

Do you have any questions for me?

I feel like I’m asking for a lot of information here.

ME:

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