Page 17 of Out of Focus

“Yes!” She looks up, and for the briefest moment, her eyes meet mine. As fast as it happens, though, it’s gone. Those big blue eyes are scanning my face again. “You got it. Should be simple enough, no?”

“Um. Sure. Yeah. I’ll help you write sex scenes. That makes sense.” Will she pick up on my sarcasm? Because this is the craziest shit I have ever heard.

“Is that sarcasm?” Her eyebrows are scrunched together on her forehead, and her cheeks are slightly flushed. She seems embarrassed. Fuck. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No, Chuck. I’m just in complete fucking shock right now. You’re writing a book?” I have so many questions, but I don’t want to overwhelm her.

“Oh, I suppose I failed to mention that. Yes. It’s something I’ve done for a long time. Writing helps me be creative. Keeps my overactive brain busy and all that. I like to write stories as a way to process my own emotions, but I’m struggling. Things have been… anyway, it’s just been hard.” She’s very matter-of-fact about it all, but it feels like some part of this story is missing.

“Why are you asking me? You kind of despise me.” Maybe I’m fishing for her to say something nice here, sue me.

“You want honesty?” She stares down at her hands as her breathing picks up. Fuck, she’s so fucking beautiful, especially up close.

“Always, red.” Her wild, fiery waves are pulled back in a messy bun on top of her head, and I make my hands into fists at the sudden urge to undo it and watch her hair cascade below her shoulders.

She sighs before looking up, but nowhere further north of my chin. “Because I don’t trust people easily. Maeve and Lainey told me I can trust you, and I believe them. Also, the thought of talking about this to a stranger is actually even less appealing than talking to you about it.” She takes a breath, and her cheeks turn a delicious shade of pink. “And because I’m kind of tired of this stupid little game we play all the time. Fighting with you when you happen to be friends with my best friend and my sister takes far too much energy.”

I can’t help but chuckle at the way she rolls her eyes as she finishes talking. Finally, her eyes move up, but only as far as my lips. “Thanks for the honesty, carrot cake.”

“You’re welcome. Why did you suddenly decide to be nice to me? The real reason.” She squints her eyes as I consider a sarcastic remark, but decide against it since Charlie doesn’t seem to be a fan of those.

“Well, Lainey and Adam sort of encouraged me to.” It’s a simple truth.

“And if I had said no?” Her arms are now crossed, and I will my eyes to stay on her face and not to move down to where I know they want to go.

“I took a risk. It was worth it.” I pause, opting for a bit of humor. “That and Maeve’s been asking me to be nice to you for a long time, and she’s kind of hard to say no to these days.”

She swallows, and the scowl I’m so used to seeing on her face makes a comeback. “Right. Well then, if we’re all done with our bonding session, I really must be going. We can get together soon. I’ll be in touch.” Her eyes are icy cold as she slaps the tea towel on the countertop and walks away faster than I’ve ever seen her move.

I guess now I wait. And try not to lose my shit over the fact that Charlie is about to become someone I spend time with. Someone I talk to about romance, sex, intimacy, and whatever else she needs help with.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

10/

totally fine. i’m totally fine.

charlie

Two weeks go by, and I don’t hear a word from Rafael. We haven’t seen one another because I have intentionally avoided going for walks in the direction of his house. Not that I’ve gone out much. I’ve spent hours in front of my laptop at home, at coffee shops, at the beach—that was an unpleasant sensory experience—and it’s useless. Nothing is coming out. I’m just leaving a coffee shop, which serves mediocre coffee at best, after staring at a blank screen for ninety minutes when my phone rings.

“Hi, Robert,” I answer. I don’t know why I’m still taking his calls. Though he’s been mostly silent, this is the third time in three weeks.

“Lottie. How are you, babe? Listen, I’ve just emailed you something. Could you take a look at it for me? Dad needs the file by end of day tomorrow.” He didn’t even wait for me to answer his questions. Rather, he just bulldozed through to get to whatever he needed from me. So typical.

“Uh-huh.” I give a non-committal answer to keep myself from saying what I’m really feeling. It’s not worth getting into it with him right now.

“You’re the best. So, when will you be back? We miss you around here. You know, I never realized how much you were doing. Jack isn’t nearly as proficient as you are with budgeting strategies.” He chuckles at his stupid commentary, and I take a deep breath, reminding myself that Robert is at work, so he’s saying he misses me in a professional capacity because there might be someone around him. Of course, he’s just being professional. Still, I wish he’d miss me in other ways. Does he miss nothing else about me other than my ability to do my job and his?

I hear his muffled voice, and without even giving me a chance to speak, he continues, “I’ve got to go, Charlotte. But I’ll call again soon, okay? Take a look at that email for me? Tootles.” He hangs up.

Did I even say anything, or did he just have a whole conversation with himself?

As I stare at my phone, a text comes in from Maeve, so I open it right away. Better not to dwell on whatever that just was anyway.

MAEVE:

Charlotte Maeve Howard you haven’t called Raffy yet?

---