Page 86 of Out of Focus

“Hi.” She hands him the little cup with pills and some water, and I step away from the bed. “I’ll be back to check on you soon, but call me if you throw up again or feel anything unusual.”

Rafael nods, making no mention of the fact that he just threw up. Before she reaches the door, I catch up to her. “Sorry, nurse… I didn’t catch your name. My apologies. I’m Charlie, by the way. He did just throw up, but I take it you’d like to know if it happens again, after the medication?”

“I’m Lisa. Nice to meet you, Charlie. And yes, if he continues to throw up, we’ll need to know. This medication should help with the nausea as well as the pain.”

“Thank you. He’s…” I look down at the floor, and Lisa simply waits for me to continue. “He’s okay, right? I mean, other than the migraine now?”

She lays a gentle hand on my forearm. “He’s doing great. Showing no signs of anaphylaxis coming back, and he’s been much calmer since you got here. We’ll keep him a bit longer, just in case, but you should both be able to go home soon. You’re doing great.” She squeezes my arm, and I nod, incapable of telling her just how wrong she is since I’m the whole reason he’s here. “If you need anything, call for me or come find me out there, okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“Carrot cake? Where are you?” Raf’s lying back down, and his arms feel around the bed, looking for me. Even in a world of pain, he manages to be sweet.

“I’m right here.” I curl back into him on the tall but narrow hospital bed. “I’m right here,” I repeat, because, despite the fact that I caused this mess, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

44/

charlie? raf’s charlie?

charlie

Rafael fell asleep about an hour ago, but now, his phone keeps ringing. I don’t want to overstep, but I take a look at the screen anyway, assuming it’s someone who obviously really needs something. The photo on the screen is of Rafael and a woman I can only assume is his mother—also, the name says Mãe, which I know is Portuguese for Mom.

I clear my throat and walk into the bathroom, not wanting to wake Raf up. “Hi, Mrs. Machado? This is Charlie.”

“Charlie? Rafa’s Charlie? Oh, thank goodness you’re with him. Is he okay?” Her voice is a little panicked; that much is clear.

“Yes, sorry. I should have led with that. He’s all right. I… I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I didn’t know he was allergic to mushrooms, and I wanted to make him dinner.” God, I can’t believe I’m telling his mum I nearly killed him today.

“Ah, the pasta recipe you liked. Yes, he told me you were going to make it.”

“He told you?” My voice comes out all screechy, because, um, what?

She laughs lightly. “Yes, we talk pretty regularly. Are you still at the hospital?”

I feel so stupid focusing on the bloody pasta when I haven’t properly updated her on his well-being. “Yes, sorry. We’re here. He just fell asleep a little while ago. The migraine meds seem to have kicked in. I’m so, so sorry. This is all my fault?—”

“Oh, Charlie, it was an accident.” Her voice is much more soothing now, and I recognize the gentle tone of her voice. It’s so much like Raf’s. “You know, when I was pregnant with Daniela, I was craving fettuccini Alfredo, and I put mushrooms in it, completely not thinking. We already knew Rafael was allergic by that point, but my pregnant brain simply forgot. I felt very guilty about that for a very long time, and I don’t want you to carry that same guilt. You didn’t know.”

“I see where Rafael gets his nurturing demeanor from now. You haven’t even met me, and you’re consoling me after I put your son in hospital.” I let out a humorless chuckle that sounds completely hollow.

“He is pretty special, but from what I hear, so are you. I can’t wait to meet you on Sunday.” She hums, almost as if to herself. “Will you please call me if anything changes with him? At least I know I don’t have to worry now, knowing you’re there.” My chest fills with an ineffable feeling that I know is significant. Her words, her reaction, the way she called me Raf’s Charlie… They all nestle into my heart. No, more like burrow. Deep.

“Yes, I definitely will, Mrs. Machado. I’m so sorry again, and that I didn’t call sooner.” I’m never ever going to let myself live this down.

“Don’t mention it. Thank you for picking up and for taking care of our boy. We’ll talk soon.”

“Of course. Have a good night.”

“Bye, honey.” Her kindness has left me a bit shaken up. She’s so sincere. And I knew Rafael’s mom probably would be, but the circumstances of our first conversation have just solidified that.

Three hours later, Rafael is finally allowed to go home. I’m not sure if it’s the migraine medication they gave him or the mix of that and the epinephrine, but he is definitely a little woozy at the moment. He’s been trying to bop me on the nose with his finger, but he keeps missing and hitting my eyes, cheeks, mouth, and even ear.

Lisa walks in as I’m gathering our things to leave. “Hi, I just need one more form signed, and you’re free to go.” She comes over to me with the clipboard, noticing the look of surprise on my face. “It’s just to make sure he’s getting home safely.”

“Got it.” I start to read over everything, but Rafael is basically hanging off me, trying to touch my nose again. I shoo him off like a fly, but he’s relentless.

“Isn’t my girlfriend soooo pretty, Lisa?” I close my eyes briefly, shaking off the butterflies attempting to take flight in my stomach at hearing him say that word again. “She is,” he continues. “She’s the most pretty. I like her so much, I would eat mushrooms again for her.”

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