Page 85 of Sparks Still Fly

And I do. In a loud gasp, I suck in a breath, and instantly, it’s as if the grip around my chest loosens, the panic subsides, and all feeling comes back to my hands and feet. I wrap my arms around Maeve, pulling her body closer to mine, not giving a shit about where we are. I take in a few more lungfuls of air before I try to say anything.

Once our breathing is in sync, I play back the words Maeve said. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.

“You love me.” It’s not a question, but even I can hear the awe in my voice at the statement.

“I never stopped. Not even for a minute. I was yours from the moment you caught me from falling.” Her voice is soft, a tone I’ve only heard when she speaks to Julia, and now to me.

“Which time?” I ask and the smile blooms on her face, taking over every inch as her cheek dimples and her eyes crinkle at the edges.

“Does it matter? Are we really going to discuss the semantics of my clumsiness?” Her teasing tone works its way through me, untying all of the knots in my muscles, and sending a warm, soothing comfort where the tightness used to be. Her smirk settles me further, but I can see the hint of worry in her eyes. She’s putting on a brave face for me. She’s here for me. And it’s not lost on me that she obviously had to work through some shit to get to this point.

“I knew you loved me. I’ve always known it.” I rub small circles on her lower back, and she relaxes into me.

“This is not the time to get cocky, Mr. James.” The corners of my lips tug upward at her words.

“That’s not what this is. I knew it because I felt it. I saw it. In the way you held Julia, in your road rage, in the way you looked at me. When Raf and Art said you left, I thought maybe I saw what I wanted to see. I thought it was all in my head, but I know you, Maeve. I know how it feels to be loved by you.” I wrap my arms a little tighter around her. “The hard part isn’t saying the words. We’ve loved each other for years. I’ve said the words to you in my head a thousand times. The hard part is this. It’s what happens when things get rough. When running away seems like the only choice, but instead you come back and stick around for the messy parts. This is how I know you love me.”

Twin tears roll down her cheeks as she gives me a wobbly smile, her eyes shining with love. There are no masks here today, and that’s exactly how I want it to be. Forever.

49/

the easiest thing i’ve ever done.

maeve

The easiest thing I’ve ever done is tell Owen I love him. I didn’t even have to think about the words, they’ve just always lived inside me, and there was no effort needed to let them out. The hard part, like he said, is when shit gets hard. And right now? It’s hard.

Owen was on the brink of a massive panic attack when I walked in here, and he’s still tense. We’ve been to see Julia together, and it looks like we can take her home soon. She needed fluids to get her body temperature back to normal. The pediatrician explained that she had an ear infection, and it likely wasn’t a bad infection, but that flying may have exacerbated it.

After spending some time just watching Julia sleep, we agree to head back to the waiting area to let everyone know how she’s doing.

Owen's face is a mixture of guilt and defeat, his eyes are downcast as he fiddles with the hem of his shirt. His shoulders slump forward, and his lips are pressed into a tight line.

I stop him in a quiet hallway with a touch on his forearm. “Hey, O?” He turns toward me, but his eyes are still lowered. I stand closer to him, pushing my face into his line of sight. “It wasn’t your fault.” He winces at my words. “You heard the doctor. We couldn’t have known. Yeah, she was fussy, but that’s not uncommon for a baby that’s only a few weeks old.”

His eyes finally meet mine, and he gives me a few quick nods. “I’m glad you were there. That you noticed she felt warm. If you hadn’t been?—”

“But I was. We were together, and Julia is fine. And that’s how it’s going to stay. Okay?” The conviction in my voice still surprises me, given that just this morning, I was still feeling like I couldn’t handle these new roles, this new life. “Uh, my mum called. Just before I left.” I clear my throat, and Owen’s eyebrows raise in question. “She said a lot of things. That I’m just like her, how my first marriage is going to end in divorce, just like all of hers have, and that I’m not fit to be a wife or mum.”

“Maevey…That’s why you left?” I nod, and now it’s my turn to wince.

“I know it wasn’t the right thing to do, and I’m so sorry. I let her get to me. I’d already been so scared and unsure of whether I could do this, if I could be what you and Julia deserve…” I huff out a breath and see Owen shaking his head. “I once dreamed of this, Owen. Of you and I being married, having a family, getting our happily ever after. But that was a fairytale. It didn’t seem possible given how I was raised. At least, not for me. So, I replaced that dream with my career dreams. I thought that if I could be driven and dedicated to my goals, I’d never end up like my mother and my grandmother, who used men until they had nothing left. I wanted to make my own life. Have my own money. And I made that happen. But the older I got, the more I started to see that I was becoming like her in other ways—selfish, incapable of loving, focused on getting what I wanted and nothing else. Forgoing a family in the process.” I rub at a spot on my forehead as if to wipe away thoughts of my mum and the toxic lies that she’s tried to make me believe my whole life.

“And now? What do you dream of now?” Owen’s eyes are serious, the crease between his brows deep as he takes me in.

“You, darling. I don’t know that I ever really stopped dreaming of this fairytale life with you. I just denied the truth hard enough to make myself believe the lies, but?—”

Owen cuts me off with a kiss, his hands cupping my face. Instinctively, I open up for him, and his tongue strokes mine in a way that leaves me breathless and wanting more. I whimper embarrassingly loudly when he pulls away, bringing our foreheads together.

“You’re nothing like them, nothing like your mother. You made shit happen for yourself, and you did it while loving your sister, my sister, and everyone else you met. You did it while somehow loving me, even when I didn’t deserve it. You built your career while building a family for yourself and Charlie, because that’s what your friends are to you. Lainey, me, Raf and Adam. We’re your family.” He shakes his head, and his thumbs gently wipe at the tears on my cheeks. “And I think you know that now. I think you figured it out and that’s why you came back.”

I nod again, swallowing down the tears so I can say this to him as clearly as possible. “You’re my family, Owen. You’re my home. My heart. My dream.”

“Yeah. And you’re mine, fengári mou. You always were.” Owen kisses me again, gentler this time. Just a series of presses of his mouth against mine as my face still sits cradled in his hands. Every kiss is a silent I love you that I feel down to my bones.

Once my tears are dry, we make our way back to the waiting room, which has turned into a small family gathering, as Raf, Charlie, Bon and Adam all refuse to leave the hospital. Eva is on her way from Marblehead to support Owen, and Arthur offered to go pick her up from the airport so that we can all stay together, or he’d be here, too.

Raf walks into the room with a tray of coffee and tea in his hand. He hands one to Charlie, which she accepts without any smart remarks. They must have some sort of truce going, given our reason for being here. The moment he passes a cup to Bon, her eyes widen, and her hand flies to her mouth. She shakes her head, but Raf doesn’t understand what’s happening. She’s clearly having an aversion to coffee. Poor thing. First her beloved pot pie, now coffee?

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