Page 18 of Sparks Still Fly

Raf sniffles, and I can’t bring myself to look at him. He might be the softest man I’ve ever met, but the man is an absolute tank. “You’re a good man, Owen. And you know I’m here for you. We’ll all support you. Lainey, Adam, Maeve. Fuck, I’m sure even Chuck would step in to help. You’re not doing this alone. All right?”

I nod, still unable to look up at him because now I feel my own eyes stinging with tears. “Thank you, Raf. Thanks for letting me come over and drop this on you. I haven’t told anyone yet. Lainey was at Maeve’s when I left there, but I didn’t want to share this with both of them just yet.”

“I get it. I’m here for you. You’re my brother, you know that.” And I do. Raf and Clay were my two closest friends when I was a Marine. Raf and I left at around the same time, but Clay never wanted to leave. I respected the hell out of him for it.

“Thanks, man. I’m gonna get going. Sorry to just drop in like this and leave. I just need to get ready to drive down to San Diego tomorrow to start sorting this whole thing out.” He pats me on the shoulder and takes my now empty beer bottle.

“No need to apologize. Do what you need to do, and let me know when you need anything. Anything, O. I mean it.” Rafael stretches out his arms, silently asking if I need another hug, but I just shake my head lightly.

“Thanks, Raf. Appreciate you, man.”

“Right back at you. Drive safe.”

11/

well, there’s more.

owen

The whole experience is surreal, like I’m watching myself walk into this hospital. I watch myself meet a baby who’s a complete stranger to me but is also going to legally be my daughter one day.

She’s so tiny and beautiful. I can’t tell what color her eyes are yet, but I’d bet they’ll be brown—just like her mom’s—and she has Clay’s blond hair. Holding her tiny body, something immediately shifts in me. Like this little baby just rearranged not only my external world, but something biological in me, too. I told Maeve I wanted kids, but I never imagined this. Obviously.

It’s hard to digest all of this and I feel my stomach twist multiple times as if my body is actually processing this new reality in real time. It’s a lot to take in.

I’ve been across the world, fighting battles not everyone agrees with, operating guns and vehicles most people wouldn’t even dream of touching. I’ve cracked codes so complex entire teams of trained experts hadn’t been able to. I’ve been held hostage. And yet, I’ve never felt so vulnerable, so unprepared, and so out of my league like I do right now as a lawyer and social worker talk at me about guardianship and diapers, custody and formula.

By the time I’m back in my truck, my brain feels fuzzy, so instead of driving home right away, I call the one person who’s going to make this make sense. It rings three times, then her face pops up on my screen. Brown eyes with wrinkles around the edges that I’ve come to know as her happy Owen and Elaina lines because she’s always got a smile for her kids.

“Hi, Mamá,” I say before she has a chance to say anything.

“My boy. How are you? Where are you? In the truck? What’s wrong? Your eyes aren’t their happy green, they’re a sad green. What happened moro mou?” It feels like my heart expands in my chest when I hear her call me that. My baby. She’s always called me and Lainey that in her native Greek tongue.

“Before I answer you, can we loop Lainey in? I want to tell you both something.” I start looking for my sister’s contact before she can answer.

“Skatá,” she mumbles. “Must be serious.”

“It is serious. And I heard that, you potty mouth. I swear, you and your daughter–”

“Ma and her daughter what, Agamemnon?” Lainey picks up, effectively cutting me off from commenting on how much she loves her colorful language. “What’s going on? Why did you call us both? Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Jesus, you two. I’m gonna tell you, if you ever stop with the questions.” I huff out a breath, running my hand through my hair while I prepare to break this news to them. I’m met with twin scowls that quickly melt into twin worried looks.

“Ma, you remember Clayton? I brought him home with me once.” Immediately, I see my mom’s eyes soften as she remembers him.

“Of course. Lovely young man. Very serious, but then he’d come out of nowhere with a joke! Your dad really liked him.” She smiles at the mention of Dad. “Didn’t he...”

“Yeah. He was killed in action a few months back.” I swallow and force myself to keep going. He’s not the only friend I’ve lost in the Marines, but he was the closest. “His wife, Monica, was pregnant. I’ve gone to visit her a couple of times.” They both nod, still confused, but at least they’re not interrupting me. “She, uh, she had the baby. A girl. She’s so tiny.” I’m getting off track here, so I clear my throat and get back to the point of this call. “Anyway, Monica, she didn’t...didn’t make it. There were complications during the birth and...”

“Oh, Owen. I’m so sorry.” Ma reaches out her hand as though she can touch me through the screen, and even though she can’t, I swear I feel her reassuring hand on me.

“That’s so sad. What can we do? How can we help?” Lainey is always the first to jump into action when someone needs something, and right now, I’m just so thankful for these two.

“Well, there’s more. Back when Clay and Monica were thinking about having kids, he asked me if I would be listed as the guardian for any of their future children. Both he and Monica were in the foster system, and they didn’t want that for their own kids if something ever happened to them.” I see both of their eyes widen as realization starts to sink in, as they assume what I’m about to say next. “Of course, I said yes. They were such good people. Anyway, I just met her. The baby. Julia. Her name is Julia.” I clear my throat as Ma’s and Lainey’s eyes widen while they stand-by, waiting for me to continue. “Nothing’s been signed yet, but I’m gonna... I’m getting... I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure she’s taken care of.”

Their sniffles are audible, Lainey openly letting the tears stream down her cheeks while Ma covers hers with her hands.

“Are you saying I’m about to become a grandma? A Yia-Yia?” My mom’s voice cracks with emotion.

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