Page 15 of Sparks Still Fly

Owen is making LA his permanent home, probably to be closer to Elaina, Rafael and the business. Seeing him constantly hasn’t gotten any easier, and knowing he’s going to be so close has me on edge.

Elaina just got engaged in the exact same spot where she met Adam last year—in my kitchen at my annual New Year’s Eve party. That means Owen is here, and I’m back on my avoidance game. So far, so good. I’ve found a quiet spot to gather my thoughts before I go back to playing hostess.

Looking out at one of the flower gardens, I feel something like longing clawing at me. For what? I’m not sure. My best friend just got engaged to the love of her life, and I’m sickeningly happy for her. Truly, I’m so thankful Elaina and Adam found one another.

But...?

I feel goosebumps on the backs of my arms and brace myself.

“Hey.” My ears would know that voice anywhere. And so would the rest of my body, which lights up at the rumbly sound. He steps closer and the heat of his body is suddenly next to mine. “Looks like you’re deep in your thoughts.”

“I was thinking about how happy I am for Bon and Adam. They’re perfect.” I force a smile, and it surprises me how genuine it is. Thinking about them always makes me smile, though.

“Yeah.” He takes a deep breath, looking down at his feet. I still haven’t looked up at him. I can’t. “I thought this was where you and Luke were headed. You know, marriage, kids, the whole nine.”

I roll my eyes. He refuses to call Lincoln by his name. I know he knows it, even if they’ve never met. “Those things weren’t on the cards for Lincoln and me. They’re not on the cards for me at all, actually.” And then I decide to dig my own grave. “What about you, Owen? I thought you’d be wifed up with a whole brood of kids by now.”

Dig, dig, dig.

He hums, his feet shifting the stones beneath them. “Me too.”

Stunned doesn’t begin to do justice to how his answer makes me feel.

He wants to be married? With kids?

“What’s stopping you?”

Dig, dig.

“The one. She’s not ready for me yet.” He turns his head toward me. My cheeks heat, but I don’t look up. He couldn’t mean...

No, you idiot. He doesn’t mean you. You’re his little sister’s best friend, the girl he slept with once, then walked away from without a second thought.

“You think she’s out there?”

Dig, dig, dig, dig...

“Oh yeah. No doubt. When she’s ready, we’ll get to work on that brood.” I hear the smile in his voice, but I don’t avert my eyes from the lamppost I’ve been staring at since he arrived.

“You want lots of kids?”

Dig, dig.

“As many as she’ll give me. I’ll raise a whole football team with her, if she’ll let me.” His voice is more serious now, and I feel his gaze still on me. My hands are in tight fists, my nails digging into my palms to give myself a different pain to focus on because the one in my chest is so intense, I’m not sure I’ll be able to take another deep breath ever again, because this moment? This is the moment I realize Owen James should never, ever be mine.

part two

now

9/

the only thing that brings me joy these days.

maeve

MUM:

I’d really like it if you stopped ignoring me. Do I need to fly to LA to see one of my daughters?

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