Page 27 of Lost Love Found

“Ask what?” I do my best to look confused. I’m an actor. I should be able to handle this, but she sees right through me.

“Ask me about my days dating and sleeping around in New York.” She’s completely calm and looking at me with those deep green eyes.

I pause. I don’t care what or who she did. It doesn’t matter. But I want to know why. The curiosity is eating away at me. “Why did you feel you needed to date so much when you moved there?” There. That seems safe.

“Like I said, I wanted to erase the girl I used to be. I was inexperienced, sheltered, even, and wanted to be the opposite. I’d also just had my first real relationship, and it ended…traumatically. I needed to see what regular dating was like.” The words roll off her tongue so casually, like she’s discussing the mundane details of her breakfast. She says it with finality, implying there’s nothing else to be said and this is the truth.

“And what was regular dating like? I’m honestly curious because I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced it.”

She runs her hands through her hair as she lets out a sigh and looks up at the ceiling. “Let’s see. A slew of unmemorable boyfriends, a few one-night stands because... why not? A lot of awful first dates. Once I graduated, I was done with all of it. Something changed. What hadn’t changed was how heartbroken I still was over Andy.” Her eyes soften when she says his name, and her face seems to glow just thinking of him. “Before I knew it, I was in therapy again, trying to figure out how to let go of everything that had been holding me back. Then we moved to LA, and my dad died that same year. A lot changed.”

“You can talk to me about them, L. You can talk about Andy. You can talk about your dad. You don’t need to hold back. It won’t make me uncomfortable, and I won’t try to console you when you talk about them. I can just listen.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and she looks down quickly, brushing a tear off her cheek before looking up at me again. “Thank you. That’s… thank you.” She hesitates, a sadness clouding her face. “Andy didn’t break up with me.” Her eyes meet mine and she must see the slight confusion on my face, so she keeps going. “He, um, he died.” She nervously chews her lip and glances away from me as she speaks. “I feel so guilty when I bring them up. People don’t really like to talk about someone who’s gone… but they’re still so alive in my heart, in my thoughts, in my memories.” She looks off into the distance, her eyes misting over with tears.

“Of course, they are. You should talk about them whenever you want to. At least know that with me you can. OK?” I’m taken aback at how naturally the words flow out of my mouth when I speak to her. It’s as if I can simply say what I’m feeling without putting up any barriers or walls. That’s new.

Elaina’s eyes are glistening, so I try to think back to my last words, looking for a sign of what has upset her. But then her arms circle my neck and she pulls herself up on my lap, her lips pressing against my shoulder. She shifts her head slightly so that her warm breath spreads over my neck.

“I’m so happy that I met you. You’re a wonderful person, Adam.” Her voice trails off into a faint whisper, and her breath hitches from her quiet sobs. We sit in silence for what seems like an eternity, with my hand gently tracing circles on her back. When she finally pulls away, I tenderly grab her hands in one of mine, and when she tries to pull them away, I hold fast. Her gaze meets mine, her eyes wide and red-rimmed with tears. I tenderly use my thumb to wipe the salty droplets away from her cheeks, and she responds by leaning into my touch before closing her eyes.

“The last person to wipe my tears away like this was my dad.” A few more tears escape and I cradle her face in my hands. I place a kiss on her forehead and bring our foreheads together, moving my hands back to hers. Our breaths mingle and my thumbs draw lazy circles on her knuckles, almost as if by instinct.

She’s the first to pull away again, and I can see how tired she is now. “You should get to bed, L.” I bring one of her hands to my lips and kiss the back of it.

She nods twice. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m pretty tired.” She tucks some hair behind her ear and shifts away from me. “Thank you. For dinner, for talking, for listening. Just… thank you.” Her chin wobbles and she takes a deep breath, as if to stop herself from crying again.

“Thanks for sharing another piece of yourself with me. I’m always here for you. Always.” And I know at this moment that I really mean that. “Now my Tornerose needs to get some shut-eye. Paris awaits!”

Her smile is small, but it reaches her eyes as we both get up from the couch and walk towards the door. We stand there for a few seconds just looking at one another before she says, “I’ll miss your face.”

I smile at her, committing this moment to memory. Her slightly puffy eyes scanning my face, lips curved into a smile, telling me she’ll miss me. “Goodnight, L.”

“Goodnight, Adam.” I walk away and hear the door close, feeling both lighter and heavier. Lighter for having spent hours with the girl of my dreams, heavier knowing I won’t see her tomorrow or the day after.

12

does this feel friendly to you?

elaina

I wake up to my alarm telling me it’s 10 am and I need to go to the airport in a couple of hours. I’m glad that yesterday Elaina thought of packing ahead of time rather than leaving things to the last second. Today Elaina is grateful. I hear someone moving around the apartment and have a minor panic before remembering that Maeve has a key and wanted to come say goodbye before I fly out today.

“Good morniiiiing!” Of course, she’s wide awake. Charlie walks in behind her with mouthing an apology and lifting a very tall cup of coffee towards me. Maeve settles on the side of my bed. “Are you excited about Paris? You haven’t been in years.”

“I am so excited! Last time I was there for research and there was so much I didn’t get to do, but I’m going to miss being here. These last two weeks have been… so good. Just so good.” I sip my coffee, thinking about Adam and Owen.

“It’s been nice to spend time with your brother, huh?” Charlie smiles that small, secret smile of hers.

Maeve looks at me with narrowed eyes. “And River. Adam. I don’t know what to call him.” She huffs and throws her hand in the air in a dramatically frustrated gesture.

“It’s been really nice. Owen’s really changed, and it finally feels like we’re friends again. I missed him so much.” I sip my coffee again, looking down at my cup, hoping we can avoid the elephant in the room.

“Uh-huh, that’s wonderful. Owen is nice to you now. You’re a family again. It’s adorable and makes me so so happy for you.” Maeve shifts, so she’s facing me on the bed. “But don’t think you’re getting away with avoiding the unavoidable, Bon! Talk to me about Adam.”

“Oh, I don’t know Mae. We’re friends. I like him a lot and he’s so easy to talk to, but that’s all it is.” Lies. You liar. Big fat liar, liar, pants on fire!

“Liar. Try again.” Her face doesn't even twitch at my flimsy excuse. Charlie scoffs. They understand me too well, even when I don't want them to.

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