Page 44 of Lost Love Found

I take the opportunity, since I can’t turn my brain or my body off, to check my list. I only have one thing to check off. I obviously need to add more since we’re only a few weeks into the year.

Get a manicure and pedicure - this will make me feel pretty and even if no one sees my toes, I’ll know they look nice.

Have more dance parties in the kitchen. Alone, With other people. Just generally dance more.

Host a dinner party. Make an extravagant meal. Enjoy every second of the chaos. This is for me because being around people brings me joy.

Visit Mamá in Marblehead. Tell her I love her. Hug her tightly. Lots.

Make a new friend? Just at least try. But only if it feels right and good and the vibes are impeccable.

Go on a trip just for fun. Pick somewhere I haven’t been, or somewhere I have been and loved. Go and eat all the delicious things, see all the beautiful things and do whatever the hell I want.

Kiss someone. Make it someone really kissable. If they suck at it, stop and find someone new. Kiss because I love kissing and because it’s fun.

Buy (and wear) sexy lingerie. Try to make it comfortable. Don’t look at the price tags. Feel good about your little secret no one else can see.

Wax my lady parts. Just because I’ve always wanted to try it. Because it’s new. Because I want to know what it feels like.

Spend more time with Owen. Show him the parts of my life he’s missed and get to know the parts of his I’ve missed too.

Sing in public. Like Karaoke? Whatever. Just sing. Sing all the songs I love most regardless of who’s listening.

Get back to doing yoga. Because it feels so good to move my body that way and because my mind needs clearing.

Try a new recipe. Bake something new for me or for someone else. I already do this, but this is my reminder to keep doing it.

Do something that scares me. Not like skydiving or anything involving near or potential death, but something that scares me deep down. Something my soul will remember. Something I’ll be glad I did when I’m old and wrinkly.

Have more than one orgasm in one day. Try to make it with something other than a plethora of toys, but no pressure. Just have more orgasms in general. I’ve gone long enough without them.

Masturbate in the bath because it sounds like fun. If it’s not fun, don’t do it. Bonus points for bringing snacks for afterwards.

OK that all seems like stuff I can do. It’s not hard to know where my brain decided to go given the last two items added. I’m up for the challenge though.

I don’t know how long exactly it takes or how many times I replay every part of today in my head, but eventually, very very late into the night, I fall asleep.

The weekend goes by in a flash, and I don’t see Adam once. We keep missing each other as he has training and I had made plans to see Charlie and Raf (separately, of course) while Maeve is in Malibu.

Monday comes and I realize Adam and I didn’t discuss details of when I’d meet him at the studio today. When I walk into the kitchen I see a note next to the coffee.

L,

I had to leave early to meet my trainer, but you can come by the studio when you get this. They know you’re coming and someone can direct you to my trailer. I’ll probably still be in there by the time you wake from your slumber. Just be there before 11, OK?

Can’t wait to see you.

xx

-A

I read the note five or six times, absentmindedly touching my lips as I do and then I look at the clock. It’s 9:57. Shit! I rush to shower and figure out what to wear, settling on a black pleated skirt, a cropped caramel-colored sweater with my white sneakers. I put my hair in a low bun and put some mascara on. Good enough!

I make it to the studio at 10:37 and find Manny, someone who thankfully recognizes me. It’s nice catching up with him and it settles my nerves as he gives me a ride to Adam’s trailer. I thank him and say goodbye, then I’m left pacing outside the trailer, working myself up to knocking when I hear my name.

“Elaina?” Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit. How is this happening again? It’s puppy-dog-eyes Mitch coming over to talk to me. “Hey. Nice to see you here. You coming to watch River’s next scene?”

“Hi, Mitch. Uh yeah, I’m just waiting for him.” And with impeccable timing, Adam opens the trailer door. His hair is a disheveled mess, and he has some VERY tight pants on, which is making me exceptionally curious about what kind of scene they’re filming today. His beard is nearly gone, and he looks downright edible.

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