Page 21 of Lost Love Found

“So happy. So, so happy.” She’s still whispering, like she just can’t find her voice. She bites her lower lip, a big smile still in place. “Ah! This is the best day ever! I’m gonna go grab my coat.” She scurries off to her room, and I immediately miss her body pressing up against mine.

Raf stares at me, then his gaze shifts to Elaina's curvy frame as she strides away. We both climb onto barstools at the kitchen island. His face is tight as he says, “Dude, you're done for. So fucked. Her brother will murder you if he catches you looking at his sister like that.”

The smile on my face falls immediately. “What are you talking about?” I look at the countertop as though marble is the most fascinating thing in the world. I will my heartbeat to slow down, my body to cool off. It doesn’t work.

“Yeah, OK. You’re not fooling your oldest friend. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He juts out his chin and points an accusing finger at me. His eyes are like two beacons of judgment.

“It’s not what it looks like, Raf. She’s great, but we’re just friends. Nothing else.” I exhale a shaky breath and lock my gaze with his. My heart feels heavy in my chest. “Plus, Sandra keeps saying she wants me to enter into some kind of arrangement-for-show so the paparazzi will leave me alone.” I want to smash something just at the thought, but if the media doesn't back off soon, it's a possibility I have to consider. The constant attention is getting hard to take. And with no one bothering to ask about what projects I'm working on, and each interview solely focusing on whether I'm in a relationship or not, it makes sense to redirect the spotlight back to my movies.

He turns to look at me. “I hope you’re not considering that shit.” He scowls. I know it’s a stupid idea. I don’t want to do it. I wouldn’t care so much about my image if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m trying to be taken more seriously as an actor and eventually as a producer. Not even Raf knows about that yet, though.

I shrug, not really wanting to talk about this right now. “Let’s go see if the girls are ready.” We both get up, and I know this isn’t over, but I don’t want to think about it anymore for today.

10

you want to kiss me where?

elaina

I beamed as I thought of Owen joining us soon, and in the excitement of the moment, I knew I had to take another glance at my Things That Make Me Happy to-do list. Grabbing the weathered notebook from the nightstand, I flip through the pages and sigh softly as I read it again and add a few more items.

Get a manicure and pedicure - this will make me feel pretty and even if no one sees my toes, I’ll know they look nice.

Have more dance parties in the kitchen. Alone, With other people. Just generally dance more.

Host a dinner party. Make an extravagant meal. Enjoy every second of the chaos. This is for me because being around people brings me joy.

Visit Mamá in Marblehead. Tell her I love her. Hug her tightly. Lots.

Make a new friend? Just at least try. But only if it feels right and good and the vibes are impeccable.

Go on a trip just for fun. Pick somewhere I haven’t been, or somewhere I have been and loved. Go and eat all the delicious things, see all the beautiful things and do whatever the hell I want.

Kiss someone. Make it someone really kissable. If they suck at it, stop and find someone new. Kiss because I love kissing and because it’s fun.

Buy (and wear) sexy lingerie. Try to make it comfortable. Don’t look at the price tags. Feel good about your little secret no one else can see.

Wax my lady parts. Just because I’ve always wanted to try it. Because it’s new. Because I want to know what it feels like.

Spend more time with Owen. Show him the parts of my life he’s missed and get to know the parts of his I’ve missed too.

Sing in public. Like Karaoke? Whatever. Just sing. Sing all the songs I love most regardless of who’s listening.

Get back to doing yoga. Because it feels so good to move my body that way and because my mind needs clearing.

They all seem plausible, don’t they? I didn’t think I’d get to cross off spending time with Owen for a long time, and here we are. I guess I’ll be staying in London a little longer. This day is really shaping up to be amazing. We’re about to head to the London Eye, which is always my first touristy stop here, ever since I came for the first time.

I quickly grab my coat and, on my way back, I overhear Raf and Adam talking in the kitchen.

“It’s not what it looks like, Raf. She’s great, but we’re just friends. Nothing else. Plus, Sandra keeps saying she wants me to enter into some kind of arrangement-for-show so the paparazzi will leave me alone.”

Raf looks unimpressed at this fake relationship comment, and I’m frowning at the thought of it. “I hope you’re not considering that shit.”

Adam shrugs off the comment. “Let’s go see if the girls are ready.”

I take a few steps back and pretend like I didn’t just hear all of that as I come around the corner.

“Ready!” I sound shrill and say it far too loudly, but I’m hoping they think I’m just still excited about Owen. Which I am, but now I also need to think about what Adam just said to Raf.

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