Page 9 of Obsession

“I already hate him,” I say quietly.

“You were together for some time,” Jaegen replies. I feel his gaze on my back. “I wouldn’t blame you if you had reservations. As I said, Aris is tricky.”

At one point, his concerns might have been warranted, but not anymore. Whatever strings tied me to Aris have been cut clean through. Most of my reservations about this arrangement have more to do with Jaegen.

“How long am I supposed to stay here?” I ask. A red, double-decker bus zooms past, and I move closer to the window in interest. I saw something like that in a film once—London is known for them.

“It won’t be long.”

In the meantime… “Can I leave, go out in public?”

“You are free here. If you leave, you won’t be seen.” He pauses, then adds, “Not unless you want to be.”

It’s nice knowing that I can wander. But where would I go? The thought is overwhelming; there are so many options. It’s such a normal thing to be overwhelmed by that I smile, feeling normal for the first time in a while. Then, I frown.

“Can Aris reach me?”

“Aris himself, no, but another magic-user could find you.” He pauses. “The room is warded now. As for your request, I will give you something to block Aris’ mind reading later.”

Later?

“You’re leaving?” I ask, releasing my hold on the curtain in surprise.

“There is much to prepare,” he tells me.

“But…” This has all gone so fast, like Jaegen’s finished a book the moment I reached the title page. It’s overwhelming, and embarrassing how quickly he’s finished with me.

I have the feeling that I’m being tossed away, set aside, and I don’t like it. He doesn’t have to leave me here. He said that we’re working together. Whatever he’s preparing, wherever he’s going, can’t I go, too?

I take a breath to order my thoughts, to think nice things. I don’t want Jaegen to be angry with me; I don’t want to push. This is a nice room. Why shouldn’t I want to stay in it?

“I will return,” he says.

He looks at me and nods once, before disappearing into the glowing cut in the middle of the room.

Leaving me with the weight of what I’ve just done.

Chapter three

I take a seat on the bed, pulling the comforter out of the tight folds the staff fit it in. It’s late and it’s been a long day—from walking in the woods, to making bargains with a god. I’m exhausted, but I don’t think sleep is an option. I know that I need to rest, so I shut off the lights and lay down to commit myself to the act. My mind just races.

Days ago, I was wrapped in Henry’s arms, entirely convinced that he loved me, or at least something close. I knew Aris would come for me eventually, but, after months of not acting on his threats, it didn’t feel dire, like hearing how the oceans will rise in thirty years.

And then he ruined everything.

That was my life, the one I can never return to. The mantra beats: I can never go back. I can never go back.

It’s over. But part of me wonders, dares to hope, could I have something like it again—friends, a lover, even? Will I survive long enough?

I’m risking everything for my hate. Going after Aris, I’ll be throwing myself into the den of a lion—this time, yes, with some outlandish scheme to hurt him, but still. Jaegen didn’t downplay the danger; we both understand.

Am I being rash? Maybe the best revenge is a well-lived life on my own. But is something like that possible? Could I move on from everything that happened to me, and the anger I feel that no one helped?

For hours, I toss and turn, the sounds of the city keeping me awake. I hear car alarms and ambulances, yells and laughter, even from the high floor Jaegen put me on. The noise comforts me. It’s nice to hear other people living.

In the morning, I debate ordering room service. There’s a menu on the bedside table, but I feel guilty. I doubt that Jaegen is paying for my stay, and isn’t that bad for the hotel? It’s stealing, technically, and I’ve been doing so much of that lately.

Eventually, my hunger outweighs the ethical dilemma. I get an English Breakfast, which is like a classic American breakfast, but with beans on toast. I’m cautious of this at first, but, when in Rome.

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