Page 56 of Obsession

“Why did you do that?” I cry as soon as I can manage to speak, Jaegen’s new form blurry through my tears.

“So you would listen.”

“I am listening!” I cough and wipe the tears from my face. The back of my palm comes back black. “I’ve been doing what you wanted!”

He sighs again, more irritated this time; he is losing his patience. “Let me ask you this. When I told you to get close to Aris, what did you think I meant?”

I try to remember, but my head is fuzzy and the bad air isn’t helping. My shirt sticks to my skin from sweat. “I… I don’t know,” I just say, since I need to say something, “to be around him?”

“And you thought that only you would be able to manage that? He surrounds himself with his insipid followers. I could have infected any of them with magic and made a thrall to carry out my plan. So, I’ll ask again, what is it that you thought I meant?”

I shut my eyes and try to think harder, but all I feel is the tightness of my throat and the pounding of my heart.

Above me, he scoffs. “Your stupidity is jeopardizing our plans.”

My eyes abruptly shoot open, chest heaving as the thin boy stares me down. Anger seizes me at the sight of his imperious gaze, how his lips curl into a sneer.

There are many things I could say, but Jaegen does not find my provocations amusing the way that Aris does. He wants me compliant, complicit; I’ve grown used to verbally sparring with a partner who will not shove me down the moment I meet my mark. Jaegen is not the same, and I must remember that.

“What was I supposed to understand?” I ask, rage settling into a sense of defeat.

He looks away, shaking his head. “Get up. You are a sorry sight.”

I obey slowly, ordering my knees to stay locked as I wobble to my feet. Jaegen watches all the while, again not helping, though it’s clear that I’m exhausted and struggling. He could even heal me, but he chooses not to.

The inferno rages and crackles behind us as Jaegen explains, “I selected you because you tempt him. You were meant to get close to him by touching him, by being with him. The mark needs contact to transfer.”

I blink, taking a second too long to understand. Contact. He wants me to be with Aris. He’s talking romantically—physically. Couldn’t he have told me that before?

Would I have agreed if he had?

“It is required,” says Jaegen. “Aris has handled magic before; he is sensitive in his perception. The only way for him to be affected is when he is distracted.”

“I know, but…”

“Should I remind you what’s at stake?” His tone changes, hardening.

“I’m aware,” I say, more firmly than is sensible.

He studies me, and I feel him ruffling around my mind, the touch too warm. I go back to how Aris felt inside of me—smoke, nustling my organs with the softest caress, utterly at home. Jaegen is invasive.

“I do not understand the issue,” he finally says. “He is clearly interested in you; he possessed a human and used him to touch you. And you are attracted to him as well.”

I stiffen. “Are you making me feel that through the mark?”

Jaegen rolls his eyes. “You accused Aris of the same meddling. Do not blame me for your shames and satisfactions.”

My cheeks heat. It’s true: I want Aris. I want his hands on me: cool, tight, bruising. I picture his fingers pressing on my skin. Black eyes, full of mischief, focused on me alone. The slightest quirk of his lips.

Something about him calls to me, carnally.

Yes, Aris is a villain—black decay and horror. But some part of that is endearing, in an unhinged and dangerous way. It’s the permanence of him. He is a killer, but he can never die. A destroyer who cannot be destroyed. He won’t leave me the way that others have. And he wants me, the way that others do not.

It is wrong. And I am afraid, as I have been so afraid, that if I touch him and give in to this desire, it will be as if I’m rewarding him for every horrible thing he’s done. I want to deprive him; I want to hurt him. Punish him. That’s why I made this bargain in the first place!

I stare at Jaegen miserably. “How long would it take to work if I… did it?”

“Quicker than this. It’s how the spell was intended to be used.” He pauses, scanning my thoughts again. “I wouldn’t worry about that. Certainly, you won’t fall in love with him; you are not so depraved.”