Page 69 of Strike Zone

“Wow. I’m proud of you. How’d she take the news?”

“She wants your nuts in a vice.”

“Expected.”

“She was actually pretty great, and stayed with me while I called my mom and broke the news.”

“Fuck. How did that go?”

“Are you kidding? My mom freaking loves you. She’s so excited.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think she loves you more than she loves me. Did you tell Anders?”

“Yeah, and he just wants to rip my nuts clear off. There’s a running theme here of my balls not being attached to my body for much longer. I left the club with all my teeth, so I figure it went pretty well.”

“I told Brooke that I don’t want her or Anders giving you a hard time about it. We’re consenting adults, we made a baby, and we’re friends now. I spent the first two hours being a twitchy mess. It was like every time I opened my mouth, the cat got my tongue. It was horrible.”

“Really? I happen to love it when a pussy’s got my tongue.”

“You’re so gross.”

“That’s not what you said when your pussy…”

“Stop! Don’t finish that sentence,” she screams down the phone.

“Why?”

“Because if you talk about us, it makes it harder.”

“What does it make harder for you, Diana? It just makes me plain hard as a fucking rock.”

“I know Anders took you out to get laid. Brooke told me.”

“Yeah, that was his plan until I told him you’re pregnant. I don’t think that’s where his head’s at now. Listen, Diana, I wanted to talk to you about tonight. About me getting laid…”

She cuts me off mid-sentence. “We’re friends who are having a baby. You’re entitled to…”

“I’m in a cab.”

“Oh.”

“Alone.”

“Oh.” Silence hangs on the line between us.

“Can I come over?” I wait what feels like hours for her reply.

“Yes.”

“I’ll see you in ten.”

“See you then. Could you stop at Duane Reade and pick up some rocky road?”

“Of course. Anything else? Pickles? Peanut butter?”

“Very funny. Bye. Rocky road. Love you…” What the fuck? “… friend.”

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