Page 40 of Strike Zone

“Fuck, no. Are you kidding me? She hovers more than you. How am I supposed to rest with you guys staring at me?”

“Fine, but promise you’ll answer the phone when I check in on you. I’m going to be calling every few hours to make sure you’re okay.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s the only way I’m going home right now. You answer your phone, and if you don’t, I’ll be back over here with Mom, Anders, and I’ll have him bring Linc, too, just to piss you off.” At the mention of his name, I grab the trashcan at my side and heave a whole lot of nothing. He’s the last person I want to see. He can’t know about this.

“Not funny.” I echo into the steel can.

“Not kidding.”

Brooke hovers while I change into sweats and my favorite hoodie—apparently, privacy isn’t a thing. After I’m curled up in bed, she fusses for another thirty minutes, making sure I have the television remote, phone and charger, tissues, crackers, and a dozen bottles of water. What does she think I am, a camel? No one needs this much water in one sitting.

“Okay, do you need anything else before I go?”

“You’ve thought of everything. I’m just going to get some sleep now.”

“I’ll leave you to rest, but I’ll wait in the living room for your prescription to arrive.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“It saves you getting up. If you’re asleep by then, I’ll leave the pills on your nightstand.”

“Thanks, sis. I know I’m a crotchety bitch, but I really do appreciate you.”

“You get a pass right now on the bitchy. I’m a bitch when I feel like crap too. Rest, and I’ll talk to you tonight.”

I must find some small respite from the nausea because I wake to find my prescription bottle sitting on my nightstand, and it’s dark outside. How long did I sleep? Grabbing my phone to check the time, my heart stutters to a halt when I see the name on my screen.

Linc: Brooke says you’re still really sick. Are you okay?

Tears well in my eyes. After the way I’ve treated him, how can I face him now? It’s better for both of us if things stay as they are—non-existent.

Me: Please, don’t message me again.

I can’t deal with this, crying until my eyes are almost swollen shut. I’ve come out of fights looking and feeling better than I do right now. I need time to think and figure out my next step. I’d be a terrible mother and doing it alone would be a million times harder. This isn’t supposed to happen to me. Brooke is the one who has her life together. She’s got the guy, the marriage, and the capacity to bring a baby into the world and raise it properly. What do I have to offer? I’m a fighter. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’m not ready to be a mother.

I know what has to happen, even though it’ll be the hardest thing I ever do. With the decision made, I cry myself to sleep after gagging on my own snot and tears with my head in the trashcan for an hour. It’s fitful at best, plagued with visions of Linc holding our baby. I try to get close, but with every step I take, they get further and further away until I’m running to catch them, but they’re always out of reach. Forever out of reach.

Chapter Ten

LINC

“Are you still not over her? You didn’t even hook up. If you were never under her, why can’t you get over her? Seriously, bro, she’s not worth it.” I know Anders is trying to be a good friend, but he’s just pissing me off.

“I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t weigh in on this particular topic.”

“Have you hooked up with anyone recently? What about Candy?”

“I’m bored of Candy.”

‘She’s your go-to girl.”

“Was. I’m fed up with the same old, same old. What if I want more than one-night stands?”

“Shut the front door. As I live and breathe, Lincoln Nash has gone and grown a heart. I wasn’t prepared for this today.”

“A man can change. You did.”

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