Page 73 of Interception

“Then it’s settled. I’ve got this.”

When he heads out the door, the silence is deafening. I’m crossing my fingers, hoping the boys will stay asleep until Faith arrives to help. I’ve never been alone with the twins before, building my confidence as a mom knowing support is in the next room.

Faith knows better than to ring the doorbell now, so she just comes inside with the stealth of a cat burglar. “Hey, Zee,” she whispers.

“Hey, girl. I finished feeding them about twenty minutes ago, so they should be good for Auntie Faith while I grab a quick shower. Is that okay?”

“Of course. Go, enjoy. I’m happy here with my two favorite little guys. Do you want me to get their diaper bags ready?”

I run over to her and throw my arms around her neck. “If I haven’t told you lately, I freaking love you. I couldn’t have gotten through all of this without you.”

“I can’t breathe.” She croaks out as I strangle her with a hug.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to crush your windpipe.”

“Go shower. You need it.” She scrunches her nose, mocking my PJs with milk spit-up on the shoulder.

“I’m going.”

With the boys in good hands, I make the most of my time. While the shower heats up, I take a long hard look at myself in the mirror. My once toned body looks like a Salvador Dalí painting. Nothing is quite where it used to be. My boobs are huge from breastfeeding, and my stomach has stretch marks after housing not one but two human beings for months. I don’t exactly look at my lady bits, but I know they had to be stitched, so in my mind, it’s now Frankenstein’s vagina.

This is the first time I’ve stood naked in front of the mirror and assessed the damage. It’s as if someone else is staring back at me—familiar but not quite me. I’m worried Coop won’t be as attracted to this new version of me. Sure, I can get back into shape, but there are parts of me that have fundamentally changed, and no amount of diet and exercise is going to fix them.

Stepping under the oversized showerhead, I let the steaming water rain down on me, soothing my aching muscles. It takes all my energy to lather the shampoo in my hair. I’ve never experienced the type of exhaustion I’ve felt since the twins were born. There’s no time to recover from the assault on your body from giving birth. It’s an everyday miracle—women are just supposed to suck it up and hit the ground running. No one tells you that beforehand.

As I cover my body in shower gel, washing away the grime of more days than I care to admit, I think of Coop. I can’t imagine how he’s going to feel after practice on so little sleep. He’s so wonderful with the boys—a real hands-on daddy. I knew he would be, but I fall more in love with him every day as I watch him navigate our new normal.

Coop and I started with such a visceral physical connection. I feel the lack of it now with every nerve ending in my body. I want so much to lose myself in him and find myself again—Zoey, the woman. I have so many labels now, and I crave a few hours just to be me.

Running my hands over my newfound curves, I close my eyes and let myself remember the way Coop’s hands feel as they roam my body, enjoying every inch, kissing his way down my neck, lower and lower until he spreads my legs wide and buries his face between my thighs. God, I miss orgasms, even though I’m too tired to have them.

I let my hand slide between my legs, my fingers ghosting a gentle caress over my clit. A thrill runs through me, and relief that whatever trauma happened down there giving birth hasn’t made me numb. It feels good. My fingers circle my clit as I tease myself, needing to feel a momentary pleasure, even if it’s at my own hand.

I imagine it’s Coop, pushing me toward sweet release, but just as I’m about to reach that peak, Faith starts banging on the door. “Zee, Blake has done some kind of evil in his diaper, and Aiden is crying. Are you almost ready?”

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay, thank God. I don’t know how such a cute kid can do something that smells this bad. It’s all over his onesie.”

“Yep, it’s pretty nasty. Just coming.” Sadly, I’m not coming in the best sense of the word. I quickly turn off the shower and towel dry myself. So much for making myself look good for Coop. I throw my clothes on and put my soaking wet hair in a messy bun before going back on mommy duty with baby doody. I suppose I should consider it a win if I manage to get out of the house without baby bodily fluids somewhere on my person.

The living room is chaos. Faith is holding Blake at arm’s length, trying not to get covered in poop while singing to Aiden to try and soothe him.

“Okay, give me the poopy baby. You see to Aiden.”

“God bless you, Zee. I thought I was going to vomit in my mouth at the smell.” She hands Blake to me, and I can see she wasn’t exaggerating. Blake has shit soaking through his onesie, up his back and down his legs. This is a blowout on steroids.

“I think your daddy has a point, Blake. There’s no saving an outfit after a blowout like this. In the trash it goes.” I manage to get his clothes off without flicking poop all over the living room, but the second I take it off, he starts wriggling, making a snow angel of shit on the changing table. Gagging repeatedly, I get to work with the wipes, just trying to get him clean enough to bathe. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, little man.” He gives me a funny crooked smile and looks exactly like Coop when he’s up to mischief.

“Should I call Hunter and tell him we’ll be late?”

“No. We can do this. We’re two smart, college-educated women. We can get two babies from one destination to another. If you get Aiden into his car seat, I’ll give Blake a quick bath, and we’ll be good to go.”

“Okay. We can do this, can’t we, Aid? Yes, we can.” Faith talks to the babies with a cutesy tone to her voice, and it warms my heart to see her loving on them.

I get to work, praying we can still get to Coop’s practice on time. He’s looking forward to introducing the new Danfords to the team.

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