Page 53 of Interception

“Aren’t women the world over telling guys the exact opposite of these sentiments?”

“What can I say? I’m not like other women.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“Listen, the way I see it, we have to enjoy while the getting is good. Who knows what shape my vagina will be in after I birth two Danford babies. Look at you, you’re a mountain of a man. These babies are going to obliterate me, and you’ll be complaining for the rest of your life that fucking me feels like throwing a rope into a trashcan.”

“Wow! That’s a graphic and deeply-disturbing picture you paint of our future. Plus, there’s surgery now that can restore you to a pre-trashcan vagina, and let’s not forget that I can have just as much fun with anal. You’ll still be tight as a drum back there, beautiful.”

It doesn’t matter what’s happening, Coop can always make me laugh. He can find the lighthearted side in any situation.

“Yeah, like I’ll be letting you anywhere near my ass right after I’ve given birth to your cute, lovable, tiny spawn.”

“Misery loves company, right? At least I’ll still have palm and her five sisters to fall back on.”

“I hate you right now.”

“No, you don’t. You love me. You said it out loud, and there are no take-backsies.”

“Take-backsies? What are you, eight? I’ll love you even more if you take your pants off and fuck me. If I’m going to be severely lacking in the orgasm department for a while, it’s really your duty and a kindness to both of us if you just shut up and put that big cock of yours to good use.”

“How can I say no to that?” he says with a wickedly delicious and dark tone to his voice.

“You can’t.” I throw back the sheets and spread my legs, cupping my full, and may I say kick-ass breasts. He doesn’t disappoint, the rapid rise and fall of his chest telling me he’s powerless to refuse me. As he ravages my body with his gaze, I feel emboldened right now. Seeing myself through his eyes, I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

His ministrations aren’t rough or frenzied, but the end result is the same, if not more intense because he’s so skilled at building my anticipation until I’d sell my soul for the release only he can give me.

We make love long into the night, and as we rest in sated bliss, the unimaginable happens. I’m mortified!

“Zee?”

“Yeah?” Please don’t have heard. Please have missed it.

“Did you just fart?” Oh God.

“There’s no dignity left in pregnancy. Can I just run away and hide now?”

“Well, I’d say you could hide under the covers, but I’d strongly suggest you don’t inadvertently Dutch oven yourself right now.” I shove his shoulder, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“You’re mean.”

“I’m mean? You’re the one who just disturbed the covers, which goes against the rules of sharing a bed with someone. Now I’m getting a waft of it.” He fakes being horrified, but I can tell he’s just loving this.

“Just for that, the next time I’m going to totally hold your head under the covers. You have to be nice to me, I have a fragile ego right now, and I’m carrying your babies.”

He’s trying to keep a straight face and is failing miserably. “I suppose I should be grateful for small mercies. I’m lucky you didn’t shit the bed. You didn’t, did you? Come to think of it, it sounded a little wet.”

“I’m doing take-backsies. I don’t love you. I’m beyond mortified, and you can’t stop laughing at me.” I move to get out of the bed, but he pulls me back in.

“What did I tell you about disturbing the covers!”

“You suck, Cooper Danford.”

“And apparently, you blow.”

“I’m going to sleep in the guest room.” He’s got me smiling, and it annoys me that he can change my mood on a dime.

“The hell you are. You’re parking your stinky little butt right here with me. We live together now, Zee. It was bound to happen sometime. I’m just glad it wasn’t me. How would I have explained to the paramedics that I knocked you out with a one-cheek squeak?”