Page 35 of Interception

“Your baby is fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you unnecessarily. I just wanted to be sure before I said anything.” Now I’m definitely worried.

“Then what is it? You’re freaking us out over here.”

“I thought I heard something when I let you hear the heartbeat. With a little cajoling from the wand movement, I was able to confirm. There’s a healthy heartbeat. In fact, there are two heartbeats.”

“You mean the baby and Zoey, right?”

“No, Mr. Danford. You’re having twins. Congratulations.”

I’m dumbfounded, rendered speechless, which is very difficult to do.

“Are you sure our baby doesn’t just have two heads or four legs? I feel like that would happen to me.”

The technician moves the wand over Zee’s stomach again. “Come on. Come out, little one.” We stare at the screen, waiting. After a few moments, as if on cue, there it is—not one but two babies.

“Well, fuck me.”

“I already did, and this is what happened.” Zee’s eyes are transfixed on the screen with trepidation and wonder.

“Hell, yeah, it did. I put two babies inside you.”

“And that was such a tough task. Almost as hard as the fact that I’m going to have to push two babies out of my vagina, obliterating it for all time.”

“Why would you say that? Way to ruin my super masculine moment.”

“I forgot this is all about you. I’m just the incubator. Is that right?”

“The incredible incubator. Don’t forget the superlative!” I lean in and kiss her hard, pouring every emotion I’m feeling into this one small show of support and affection. I don’t want her to know that I just about shat my pants when I heard the word twins. When I pull back, Zee looks up at me with fear in her eyes.

“How are we going to do this? I’m terrible with babies. How am I going to manage two?”

“You won’t. We will. It’s going to be great. You’ll see. We got this.” My heart is hammering in my chest, and my pulse is racing. “Can we please tell Hunter and Faith now? I think my head will explode if we don’t have people to talk to about this. We need allies. We’re going to be tied to our household. Two babies against the two of us. Hunter and Faith will give us an advantage.”

“You say that like we’re a football team.”

“On our way, right? Already got two players cooking in that oven of yours.” I give her a sly wink and attempt to hide my fears.

“Don’t call my uterus an oven.”

“What do you want me to call it?” I’m about to start suggesting alternatives, but she cuts me off.

“Why don’t we decide that later? None of your smartass remarks are required right now. And to answer your question, yes, I think it’s time to bring in the reinforcements. Why don’t you invite Faith and Hunter over to your place for dinner? We can tell them tonight.”

“Now we’re talking!” I quickly type out a message on my phone before she has a chance to change her mind.

Me: You and Faith, dinner 7pm. My place.

Hunter: You have the manners of a feral child. I think what you meant to say is, Hunter, would you and your lovely wife like to join me and my sometimes girlfriend for dinner tonight?

Me: Fuck up, numbnuts. Are you coming or not?

Hunter: Sure. We’ll be there. Anything I should bring? Scotch, wine, dinner?

Me: I’m thinking Chinese takeout. I’ll text you later about the logistics.

Hunter: Okay. Send me a list and I’ll just pick it up on the way over.

Me: Sounds like a plan. Text you later, fucknuts.

---