Page 34 of A Very Fumbling Merry Christmas

Laughter fills the air as we enjoy celebrating with our friends. The boys kick back with a few drinks while Zee sits at the kitchen island chatting with me as I prepare a feast fit for a king.

When we sit down to dinner, my heart is full of joy. Hunter and Coop keep us laughing, regaling us with stories of Christmases past with the Titans. Every now and again, I catch Zee staring at Coop, hanging on his every word. My hope for the coming new year is that they find their way together. I know it’s idealistic to wish for my best friend to fall in love with my husband’s best friend, but they are great together.

“Time to fess up.” Coop pins me with his stare. “Let’s find out the identity of our Secret Santa gifts.”

“Why are you looking at me?” I feign innocence, but everyone at this table knows me too well to believe me.

“I know you were responsible for my ruination.”

“Sorry, Coop.”

He sits back, crossing his arms over his chest with a hearty chuckle.

“If you’d done it to Vaughn, I’d have had a field day with it. It’s all good. Last night I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it, but today, I can see the funny side.”

“Who sent me the sexy elf outfit?” Zee looks to Coop, expecting him to be the culprit.

“That would also be me.”

“I did not see that coming!” Zee shoves me. “Witch.”

“Sorry, bestie. If it’s any consolation, you really were smoking hot in it.”

“Of course, I was. I’d be hot as a trash bag.”

“Okay. So, we know the gifts I sent. Who sent me the vibrating underwear?”

Coop sheepishly raises his hand. Hunter is about to lay into him when I reach under the table and squeeze his thigh.

“I for sure thought it was Zee.”

“Bro, I really want to sucker-punch you right now. And why the fuck didn’t you switch the damn thing off after Faith totaled the table?”

“The remote fell on the floor. I couldn’t find it in amongst the mess, and I guess it got dumped by the waitstaff when they cleaned up.”

“So, some waiter was clicking the buttons. Fucking hell.” Hunter is about to pop a vein in his forehead just thinking about it.

“Baby, does it really matter now? We ended up having ridiculously hot sex, so it’s all good.”

“Mmm… not sure I agree with that.”

“Who sent Hunter the suitcase and penis pump?”

“My guess is Coop.” Hunter thought it was him from the get-go.

“That was my brainchild.” I’m speechless as Zee admits to sending them.

I burst out laughing. “No way. That was epic. High-five, bestie. I never would’ve thought to photoshop a whole ad. Love it.”

“What did I ever do you to you?” Hunter jokes.

“You married my soulmate. You get her, you get me. Sorry, Hunter, you’re stuck with me. I promise there will be no more penis pumps unless you need one.”

“Fuck that. My cock is good as is, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, yeah. We know. You’re so manly.” Zee loves winding him up, and it warms my heart to see them getting along so well. I don’t know what I’d do if they didn’t like each other. It doesn’t bear thinking about.

“Now that we know who did all the embarrassing gifts, let’s move on to the good ones. Who sent what?” Coop asks, adjusting the new Rolex on his wrist—one of his anonymous presents.

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