Page 32 of A Very Fumbling Merry Christmas

“No can do, friend. Have you met me? I’m freaking awesome.”

“I can’t argue with that. See you soon and drive safe, the roads look icy.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

When I hang up the phone, a pang of worry blooms in my stomach. I need to sit down sometime soon and have a proper conversation with Zee about where she and Coop are at.

I go back to Christmas tunes and baking until eight o’clock. I can’t wait any longer, so I pour Hunter a coffee, make him a plate of cinnamon rolls, and head for our bedroom. Balancing his plate on top of the coffee mug, I reach for the lamp on the nightstand, but his breakfast starts to slide off the plate. He wakes with a start and grabs the mug without even opening his eyes.

“Fuck!”

I jump back, sending the cinnamon rolls flying, but at least the coffee didn’t spill. I could’ve just permanently scarred my husband with a nasty burn.

“Oh God! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.”

“Faith, please never lean over me with a scalding hot cup of coffee. I love you, but you can’t be trusted not to burn my nuts off. Now, grab me a cinnamon roll off the floor.”

“I’ll go and get you a fresh plate.”

“They’re fine. Five second rule… or more like a fifteen second rule in this case.” He leans over the bed and grabs one of the rolls off the floor, shoving the entire thing in his mouth in one go. “Tasty.”

“Merry Christmas, Hunter.”

“Merry Christmas, love.” Crumbs come flying out of his mouth.

“Say it, don’t spray it!” He pulls me close, wrapping his arms tight around me.

“Are you ready to go open gifts?”

“I was ready two hours ago! Thank you for wearing the PJs, it made me so happy when I woke up this morning.” He rolls his eyes at me, but I know he’s digging them. Otherwise, he just wouldn’t have worn them. Not that I’d have been upset waking up next to a naked Hunter, but it feels super festive to match on our first Christmas together.

“Is this going to be one of our traditions?”

“Of course. And when we have kids, we can get those cute family sets. It’ll be awesome.” Hunter’s entire body tenses.

“Kids? Do you want to have babies?” The color drains from his face.

“Do you?” It wasn’t a conscious thought when I said it. We haven’t ever talked about it.

“Sure, but not right now. I want some time with you when it’s just us. Everything this year has been warp speed, but this isn’t one of those things… right?”

“I totally agree. I’m in no rush to burst my vagina giving birth. I’m talking way, way… way down the line.” There’s an audible sigh of relief from Hunter.

“Okay. You scared the shit out of me for a minute there.”

“Is the thought of having babies with me so terrible?” I’m just playing with him, but his expression sobers.

“Of course not.”

“You’re worried my DNA would produce sons who couldn’t run a football field without injury, aren’t you? Or daughters who have all the grace and poise of a rhinoceros? Or worse, kids who make dumbass wagers with people?”

“Well, when you put it like that, maybe we should consider how much carnage your DNA could cause in the world.” I shove his shoulder, faking upset.

“It must be great to be you. Athletic, sexy, coordinated!”

“It’s pretty awesome. I snagged myself a hot wife who’s completely out of my league, but I guess she found my coordination irresistible.” I definitely find him irresistible.

“Can we go open presents now?” I bounce on the bed, straddling him. “Let’s go already!”

---