Page 11 of A Very Fumbling Merry Christmas

“Bullshit. I don’t own you, but your body is most definitely for my eyes only.”

“You didn’t just say that.” I feel bad that what I thought was a harmless prank has become divisive.

“Guys, don’t let a harmless gift ruin your night. This is supposed to be fun, remember?” Coop rolls his eyes as he scans the room.

“I’ll have fun giving each of these letches a harmless punch in the face. Fucking savages.” Zee is a headstrong woman. Coop would do well to learn that fast if he wants her to stick around. Thankfully, she seems amused by his visceral reaction. She definitely seems smitten with him, no matter how much they bicker.

She opens her purse and holds it out to Coop. “Do you want some of my coal to lob at them, baby?” She gives him such a sickly-sweet smile that he can’t help but laugh, and just like that, our evening is back on track. He pulls her in for a passionate kiss, staking his claim.

“Get a room, guys.” Coop ignores me, if anything, deepening their kiss to prove a point. He’s never going to back down when it comes to Zee.

Hunter leans in, caressing my ear with his lips. “Come dance with me. Let’s leave these two to suck face.”

“Me? Dancing? Do you really think that’s a good idea? I’m wearing heels, which skyrockets the probability of me falling on my face or stepping on your toes.”

“I’ll take my chances.” He sweeps me up and onto the dance floor, his strong hands wrapped around my waist as we sway to the music.

“I’ve got to hand it to you, Faith, that was an inspired Secret Santa gift. Not sure Zee sees it that way.”

I finally let myself fully enjoy it, letting out a giggle I’ve been holding for hours. “Epic, right? And the shoes… oh my God. When she was tapping her foot all angry and the bells were ringing, I almost peed a little.”

“You realize you’ve set the tone now? This is going to be a contest of embarrassing each other relentlessly until Christmas.”

“Maybe I’ll earn myself another hashtag.” He spins me around the dance floor before his lips crash down on mine.

“What am I going to do with you, Mrs. Vaughn?”

“Take me home and ravish me?” I pull him in, unwilling to relinquish his kiss. Butterflies take flight in my stomach as he deepens our kiss—or maybe it’s sugar plum fairies. Everything else just falls away when I’m in his arms—the crowd, even the music. I lose myself in his caress and the delicious scent of his cologne. I can feel his cock straining in his pants, the hard length of him pressing into my hip. I could mount him right now and not even care that there would be a room full of onlookers.

“Easy there, tiger. Y’all are drawing more of a crowd than Zee.” Coop always looks out for Hunter, but I resent it right now, or should I say, my libido resents it! “Maybe pick a less conspicuous spot to dry hump each other.”

Hunter fists his hands in my hair, keeping me a whisker’s breadth from his lips. “Duly noted, bro, but I need a minute. If I walk off the dance floor right now, my raging boner is going to be tomorrow’s news headline.” I know I shouldn’t, but I find the whole public arousal thing seriously hot. He allows himself one last taste of my lips, his tongue caressing mine with a promise of what’s to come when we get home.

My pulse is racing as Hunter struggles to compose himself, knowing that I don’t have any hope of doing so myself. He’s intoxicating. It’s not until I hear jingle bells at my back that the spell is broken.

“Have I suffered enough yet? Can we bounce?”

“We’ve only been here for thirty minutes.”

“Yeah. Thirty minutes too long. This place is full of leering, rabid horndogs. I think Coop is going to be carted out in handcuffs if we stay much longer.” Hunter relinquishes his hold on me, leaving me bereft, heading over to talk to Coop.

“I thought you were all about making him jealous?”

“That’s much more fun in theory than it is in practice. My elf tits are going to be trending on Instagram before the night is out. I’ve already clocked at least a dozen people snapshotting with their phones.”

“You really do look smoking hot.”

“I know. I’m freaking sexy, Christmas arm candy, but I don’t like the fact that I want Coop to be jealous. I’m not that girl. You know me. Easy breezy.” There’s something in her gaze as she glances in his direction.

“Okay, girl. Let’s get you and your wondrous, festive tatas out of here.”

“I’m going to hate myself for this tomorrow, and I’ll make you delete it, but we may as well take a selfie to document the beginning of the war.”

“The war?”

“The Secret Santa war. You may have won your little sex wager with Hunter, but after my baptism of fire tonight, I’m going to be out for victory on this one.”

“Heaven help us all.”

“You know it!” I pull out my phone, holding it out and up as far as my arm will allow. Everyone knows you get the most flattering selfies that way. When I look at the picture, I can see the mischief in my best friend’s eyes. She’s concocting a plan of attack as we speak. This wager just got real—real sassy.

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