Page 59 of Darkest Desire

“I said I love you,” Phoebe admitted recklessly. A little voice inside her head was screaming that she needed to stop—that she was going way too far. But somehow she couldn’t shut her mouth off. “I think I’ve loved you from the first minute I met you—when you ordered me to drop and give you fifty,” she went on. “Or at least I had a massive crush on you. You were so stern—so dominant. You’re just like the male main characters in the romance books I read.”

“You read books about males like me?” he asked, still looking at her with uncertainty in his eyes.

“Oh, yes,” Phoebe said. “Mostly about men who like to dominate women and women who want to let them,” she explained. “I’ve always dreamed about being dominated but I never found a human man I wanted to submit to. And then you came into my life and you’re such a natural Dom. How could I help falling in love?”

“My dominance isn’t necessarily a good trait,” he said darkly. “It comes from my Scourge half, you know. It’s not a good thing to want to tie females up and tease and torture them sexually—at least the Kindred don’t think so.”

“I don’t care where it comes from—I love it when you dominate me. And I love you,” Phoebe repeated. Her voice was getting softer as her thoughts slowed down, but she barely noticed. “I don’t care if you love me back or not. No, that’s not true—I wish you would love me back, but I know I can’t expect to get…to get everything I want.” She paused as a yawn caught her by surprise. “Oh, why am I so sleepy all of a sudden?”

“Maybe it has to do with the drug you took,” Sirex rumbled. “It’s all right if you’re tired, baby. You can relax now and sleep if you need to.”

“As long as you promise to hold me all night,” Phoebe said.

A low rumble of laughter vibrated through his big body.

“I promise.”

“Good. Now give me a goodnight kiss,” Phoebe demanded sleepily.

“If that’s what you want.” Leaning down, he pressed his lips to hers in a warm, gentle kiss.

Phoebe kissed him back eagerly—she could taste her own special flavor on his lips. But a moment later, Sirex broke the kiss.

“Sleep now, sweetheart,” he murmured, stroking her hair. “Just relax and let yourself sleep.”

“All right. Good night—I love you,” Phoebe murmured.

She didn’t hear what he replied because a wave of sleep washed over her and she drifted off, contented and safe in his arms.

23

SIREX

Long after Phoebe drifted off, Sirex held her close. He loved the feeling of her soft, curvy body nestled against his own larger, harder frame. He studied her lovely face, relaxed in sleep. Her long dark lashes lay like fans across her cheeks and her curly black hair cascaded over the arm he had wrapped around her.

Is it possible? Does she really love me? Not in spite of what I am but because of what I am?

All his life, ever since his manhood ceremony when his uncle had told him the truth of his birth, he had felt nothing but shame for his dominant tendencies. He had hated that part of himself—the Scourge part—and tried his best to eradicate it. But if he had heard her right, Phoebe was saying she loved that part of him—that she wanted to be dominated. Maybe even tied up and punished occasionally…

No—stop thinking that way! the voice of guilt that had been with him since his manhood ceremony ordered. You can’t give in to these urges—you must suppress the Scourge half!

But what if Phoebe really loved him—and loved his Scourge half too? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to give in to it if the female he was with actually wanted him to…

I’ll wait and see what she says in the morning, Sirex told himself. It’s possible that everything she said was just because of the influence of the drug she took—she might not really feel that way at all.

But he couldn’t help savoring her last “I love you” and remembering the soft press of her lips to his as he allowed himself to drift off into sleep.

24

PHOEBE

Phoebe woke up with a pounding headache and a vague feeling that she had made a fool of herself the night before. What had she been saying? And what had she been doing?

As she cracked open her eyes, she saw that she was pressed up against Sirex. In fact, she was draped all over him with one leg thrown over his and both her arms around his muscular waist. She had her head on his chest and both of them were completely naked.

The realization made her come fully awake.

Oh my God, what in the world did we do last night?

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