Page 11 of No More Jocks

“Do you mind if I eat upstairs, Mom? I have some studying to do.”

“If you don’t want to eat with your mother, Marcus, then just say that.” I felt guilty leaving her downstairs to eat alone. The divorce and my brother moving out caused her to rely on our relationship more. I was her baby, and I would be leaving for school next fall. I didn’t want to rob her of these last few precious moments. I felt like she needed this time more than I did.

“It’s not that, Mom…”

“Then spending an hour having dinner with your mother is not going to kill your grade. When is the test? And don’t lie because I can ask Coach Harris.”

“It’s not till next week.”

“Then you can spend one hour eating with your mother.” The rest of the dinner was her asking me questions and me giving half-assed, unenthused answers. Once dinner concluded, I sprinted up the stairs, rushed to my room, and opened the window to check on Caleb.

“Caleb! Caleb! Where are you?” To my surprise, he was nowhere to be found. When I got no response, I closed the window and called his phone, but either he had blocked me, or his phone was off because every time I called, it went to voicemail. “Fuck,” I said. The one day I had a guy over, my mother skipped going out to eat and came home. My chances with this guy were now nonexistent. I called Kim, hoping that she would pick up. I planned to have her call Caleb so I could apologize, but it was late, and after letting the phone ring six times, I gave up and texted Caleb.

Marcus:Hey, Caleb. I’m so sorry I was late coming to get you. Are you okay? The jump was high. Please let me know if you’re okay. I feel horrible.

What if he hurt himself and is lying on the ground bleeding? I threw on a jacket, tiptoed down the creaky old steps in my house, and slipped out the backdoor, careful not to disturb my mom, who always retreated to her room to watch her favorite Netflix show after dinner.

I turned on the flashlight on my phone and checked the perimeter of our house. He was nowhere to be found. I didn’t even have an address to assist me in finding where he stayed. I thought about calling the Coach or one of my teammates, but that would cause them to ask me questions that I wasn’t ready to answer. I would have to wait until tomorrow to find out what happened.

I attempted to sleep, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. I turned off all the lights, took a sleeping pill, and listened to meditation music, but nothing seemed to work. I laid in bed and prayed that he was okay. I must have finally dozed off around 3:00 a.m. because that was the last time I recall before my alarm went off at 6:30 a.m.

I jumped out of bed and reached for my phone, hoping he had texted or called, but I had no messages from him. I called his number again, and it went straight to voicemail. He’d blocked me. I showered, grabbed a couple of pop tarts, hopped on my bike, and rode as fast as humanly possible to school.

I needed to make sure Caleb was okay. I ran down the hall to his first-period class and peered through the window, but his seat was empty. I called my friend Kim, and after about six rings, she picked up.

“Marcus, this better be an emergency because I haven’t even had my morning coffee yet. It’s barely 8:00 a.m. What’s wrong?”

“It’s an emergency. I had Caleb over last night, then my mom came home early, so I asked him to jump out the window, and now he won’t answer my phone calls.”

“Hold on, who is Caleb? And you asked him to do what?”

“Caleb is the guy I told you about that I’m taking to the movies. It sounds worse than it is.”

“Oh yeah now I remember. Marcus it sounds bad any way you say it. I can’t believe you brought an openly gay guy to your crazy mama’s house! You must really like this guy.”

“First, my mother isn’t crazy.”

“Would you prefer the word fanatical or obsessive?”

“Okay, I get the point.”

“This was a horrible idea. You should have run it by me. You could have chilled over here, and I could have got lost for a few hours.”

“I know that now, miss bible study.”

“Hey, my father promised to cover my rent if I attended bible study once a week, so to bible study I go.”

“I guess that’s a good enough reason.”

“What were you thinking, Marcus?”

“I thought I had enough time. Now he won’t even answer my phone calls or text messages.”

“Marcus, you asked a guy to jump off a roof! If I were him, I wouldn’t answer your calls either.”

“I know I fucked up. Can you see if he answers your call and patch me in? I just want to make sure he is okay.”

“Fine, what’s the number?”

---