Page 3 of No More Jocks

"Thanks, Coach," I replied, trying to catch my breath. "I'm just trying to show my appreciation for you not giving up on me like my last school did."

Coach's expression softened. "We all make mistakes, son. It's important we just learn from them and move on."

I nodded, feeling a lump form in my throat. "I'm learning. I promise I won't let you down."

"Good," Coach said, then his tone turned serious. "Did you meet up with Caleb? You have to pass English, meaning you need a good grade this quarter to make up for the F you received last quarter."

At the mention of Caleb's name, I felt a smile creep onto my face. I quickly bent down to tie my shoe, using the moment to compose myself. "Yeah, I met him today. We start studying tomorrow."

When I straightened up, Coach Harris was giving me an appraising look. "Caleb is openly gay," he said quietly. "Is that going to be a problem?"

I felt a flutter in my chest but kept my expression neutral. "I figured as much. The 'gay and proud' shirt and the rainbow bracelet kind of gave him away," I said with a shrug. "But don't worry, Coach. I'm not a homophobe. I have a few gay and bisexual friends, and we get along great." Coach Harris visibly relaxed, putting a hand on his chest.

"Good to hear that because Julius High doesn't tolerate hate speech or hate crimes."

"Don't worry, Coach. I'll make sure everything goes smoothly," I assured him.

As I left the locker room later, my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. I pulled out my old iPhone and dialed my best friend Kim's number. She was the only one who knew about my interest in men, and I needed her advice—and maybe a favor.

"Hey, Markey," Kim's cheerful voice came through the speaker.

"Kim, I need a favor," I said, cutting to the chase. "I wanted to take my tutor to the movies as a thank you for helping me out. Do you think you can help a brother out with some free tickets and snacks?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Marcus," Kim said slowly, "you're going to get me fired with your private midnight dates."

"I promise I will make it up to you," I pleaded. "Caleb's going to be a huge help, and I just want to show my appreciation."

“A guy!" Kim's voice rose in excitement. "You're going to go on a date with a guy. After all the years I've known you, you've never taken a guy to a movie. I want all the details, and you better not leave out anything. Well, I mean, there was that one guy…"

I winced at the memory. "Please don't say his name. I'm still trying to forget that he hid his wife and child from me."

"My bad," Kim said quickly. "Yeah, that was scandalous. Do you think you're ready to date so soon? It hasn't been that long since you and the Samantha fiasco went down."

I sighed, leaning against my bike. "It's not really a date. He is just my tutor."

"Yeah, right!" Kim laughed. "Let me guess. He's a twink that wears glasses and will be valedictorian or salutatorian?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. "What can I say? I've always been into the intelligent, lean types like Stiles from Teen Wolf, Carlton Banks from that 90s show Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and Lawrence from the HBO hit show Insecure."

"Now that you bring it up, it all makes sense. You like guys that are the antithesis of you?"

"What?"

Kim sighed dramatically. "Please tell your tutor to work on your vocabulary because I am tired of explaining every other word I speak. It means the opposite of who you are."

"You know you like it. It makes you feel smarter than you are," I teased.

Our banter continued for a few more minutes before Kim had to get back to work. As I hung up, I felt a mix of excitement and anxiety. Despite my promises to myself, I couldn't deny the attraction I felt towards Caleb. But I also couldn't forget the pain of my past relationships and the risks of losing focus on my goals.

As I pedaled home, the warm evening air whipping past me, I tried to sort out my feelings. When I arrived at this new school, I had three clear goals: graduate with a 3.0 average, get into a Division I school, and go pro after college. College was my ticket to a new life, a chance to explore all aspects of my identity without so much scrutiny. It solved all my problems—or at least, that's what I'd thought.

But now, barely a week at the new school, I was feeling something for Caleb that I couldn't ignore. It was frustrating and exhilarating all at once. I admired his confidence and authenticity, qualities I longed to embrace but felt trapped from expressing.

As I pulled into my driveway, the porch light flickering on automatically, I made a decision. I would take things one day at a time. Focus on my studies, excel in football, and see where this tentative friendship with Caleb might lead. After all, I reasoned as I wheeled my bike into the garage, there was no harm in making a new friend. And if that friendship happened to make my heart race a little faster? Well, that was just something I'd have to learn to handle.

With a deep breath, I headed inside, ready to face whatever challenges tomorrow might bring.

Little did I know, the biggest challenge of all would be keeping my growing feelings for Caleb in check while trying to navigate the complex world of high school, family expectations, and my own identity. But for now, I had English homework to tackle and a tutoring session to prepare for. One step at a time, I told myself. One step at a time.

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