Daddy’s arms tightened around her and his voice was a low growl when he spoke. “If you keep saying things like that, I’m going to start thinking I didn’t spank you hard enough, little girl.”
“But I’m not! You heard Mrs. Cat. She thinks I need medicine to fix my brain.”
“That’s not exactly what she said. And even if she had said that, it wouldn’t mean you’re not perfect just the way you are.”
Sniffling, she pulled away so she could see his face when she asked her next question. “So if I didn’t want the medicine, you’d still want me?”
And because she was watching him, she saw the truth clear as day in his eyes. “Of course I would, baby. The medicine is for you. To hopefully make things easier for you. Not me. It would make me sad to know you’re struggling more than you need to, but I would still want you. I love you, Eliza.”
“I think that spanking scrambled my brain because it sounded like you just told me you love me.”
“I do love you, silly girl.”
Impossible. “You barely know me.”
“I know everything I need to know. I know how adorable you are when you’re trying to wake up in the mornings. I know that I love the sound of your laugh, and the way your nose scrunches when you’re trying to figure something out. I know you like being Little more than you want to admit. I know how much you care about your friends. I know you’re the most amazing, passionate, loving woman I’ve ever known.” Cupping her face, he brushed his thumb over her cheek, swiping away tears she hadn’t even realized she was shedding again. “And yes, baby, I know I love you. So much it hurts to breathe when I look at you.”
Something inside her trembled, ready to fall. But she needed more. “What about how messy I am? The fact that I’m always forgetting things? That I get mad about stupid stuff and my emotions are always all over the place? That I talk too much and I’m constantly getting myself in trouble? You really expect me to believe you love all of that?”
“Oh, baby. I absolutely love all those things you said.” He grinned, and her breath caught at the wicked glee in his eyes. “Because another thing I love is spanking this adorable bottom of yours. And you give me plenty of reasons to do so.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t take the medicine, then. What if it fixes me and you don’t ever have a reason to spank me again?”
“First of all, the medicine isn’t to fix you. Second of all, I know my Little girl and if there is one thing I am absolutely sure of, it’s that you will always give me reasons to spank you. Even if that reason is just ‘Because I’m your Daddy and I want to’.”
“Oh.”
“Eliza.” Tilting her head back, he leaned in to brush a kiss over her lips. “I love you. And because I love you, I want you to be as happy and healthy as you can possibly be. Which, for right now, means making that appointment with Dr. Williams and seeing what she has to say. And, if she thinks it’s appropriate, at least trying the medication. But I promise you, no matter what you decide down the road, I will always love you. And I will support whatever decisions you make regarding your diagnosis.”
She had to close her eyes against the flood of relief. “So I don’t have to decide right now?”
“No, baby. You don’t have to make any decisions until we have all the information. And I will be right beside you the whole way.”
Forcing her eyes open again, she met his through the sheen of fresh tears. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed in me again,” she whispered.
Silence stretched between them, and when he spoke again his words were slow. Measured, like he was choosing them carefully. “I was never disappointed in you, baby. Your decisions and your behavior, yes, but never you as a person. Do you understand the difference?”
“Not really.”
“That’s okay. We’ve got the rest of our lives for me to show you the difference.”
She frowned at his words. “That better not have been a marriage proposal, Samuel Eaton.”
“Not just yet.” With a soft chuckle, he brushed her hair back from her face. “But I plan to ask you at some point, Eliza. Because I am very serious about spending the rest of my life with you.”
The panic didn’t come. She waited for it. Expected it, even, because the thought of tying herself to one person, relying on one person for her happiness for the rest of her life should have been downright terrifying.
But it never came. Maybe because she was too damn tired for it. Or maybe because in the short time they’d had together, he’d already proven to her that he was more than willing to take on her stubbornness, her mood swings, her forgetfulness. And not simply tolerate it, like everyone before him had. But to celebrate her, even the parts of her she didn’t like so much or that caused problems.
When he said he loved all the bits of her, good and bad, for the first time in her life, she believed that maybe, just maybe, someone actually could.
“I’ll think about it,” she said, flashing him a cheeky smile. “If you take me to get ice cream like you promised.”
“I did promise. And Daddies always keep their promises.”
Later that night, after the ice cream was eaten and they’d laughed themselves silly at a truly horrendous Nicolas Cage movie, he tucked her into bed beside him. And she turned to him in the dark, seeking him, and the comfort she knew she would find there.
“Daddy?”