Page 5 of The Eleventh Hour

He’s smaller than the other one, streamlined. He leans against the car and crosses his legs at the ankle. A head of light-coloured hair. He’s contained, not throwing his energy all over the place, but directed, focused. I wonder which of the two would be more dangerous. I can hear the rumbles of their voices from here, but I can’t hear the words. But I like the sounds they make. The smaller guy has a deeper voice. He talks in a measured way, as opposed to the angry hisses and growls the other is making.

The angry one sags and walks over to climb up on the bonnet of the car. I wince, thinking about all the damage he’s doing to it. Gideon lets go of my arm, but I don’t pay attention because the train going the opposite way is about to go past, and the light is getting stronger.

The dark-haired guy with the anger issues has an angular face with a chiseled jaw. Whatever genes his parents had, the combination is deadly. His eyes flash. I wish I could see the colour, and he smiles, and my stomach flips. I tear my gaze away, and it zeros in like a heat-seeking missile on the second one. His face is open, and he appears guileless, like the boy next door who grew up to be the most smoking bachelor you have ever seen. Where did they even come from? They don’t belong here, not in Hurricane. This city eats people like them and spits out ancient wrecks.

They both turn towards the bushes and stiffen. Temper says something, and they both turn and get back into the car.

I watch as they leave, feeling somewhat bereft. I sit down on the ground and pick up a leaf and start tearing. Even if…even if…I could play this game forever. But it's impossible. Look, but don’t touch. Watch, but don’t talk. Don’t engage. Don’t form friendships, don’t form relationships. Suffer in silence and loneliness.

The only ones I can really rely on aren’t real. I learned that lesson hard enough the first time, didn’t I?

I lift my fingers to my nose and inhale the wet pine smell of the leaves I’ve torn apart.

“This is real. This smell, in the dark. This is real.”

I look up, straight into the face of Gideon. He looks like a man who is so deep in shadows that his features are hidden. He looks real.

Why isn’t he real?

My throat tightens on the emotions, but I force a smile and stand up.

“Well, G. We should get home, I guess.”

Gideon cups my face in his hands, the movement so tender it hurts. I lean forward and rest my forehead against his.

There’s too much light in the city for Gideon. He appears randomly, but he doesn’t have the same presence in my life as he does out here in the dark. Not unless I cut the light out of my world completely.

All I’d have to do is stop coming here. Just thinking about that makes me shudder violently and clutch at his shoulders. The thought of losing him is untenable. I’d rather lose my own life than lose him.

I swallow hard, trying to block out my thoughts. Every time I have to leave, it’s the same. It’s so hard to tear myself away. I feel like I leave a part of myself with him every time we part. One day, there won’t be anything left of me.

It doesn’t escape my notice that despite all my protests to Dr Sparrow about not being in a relationship, I’ve fallen into one despite myself.

A bitter truth that is impossible to speak. Harder still for my mind to admit. But the truth can no longer be denied.

Somewhere in the nightmare…I fell in love with my hallucination.

And if anyone ever finds out, I’ll never see daylight again.

Dane

Igrip the steering wheel with one hand and glance at Rafael. He stares out the window like there’s nothing else more interesting. My jaw clenches, and I shift in my seat. I make an angry sound. He still doesn’t look over.

“Are we going to keep letting them run us off?”

“We don’t live here, Dane. If we want help, we have to play by their rules, and our intrusion on whatever was going on tonight wasn’t welcome.”

I can’t believe that I’m hearing this. “We are so close, and you’re going to go all soft right at the finish line.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Dane. We aren’t even nearly close, the hardest part is ahead, and we might be here, this is where it started, where we find out how it ended. We tread carefully now.”

It’s rare for Rafael to lose his patience with me. Rare enough that it slaps me out of my anger. I slump. “I just want it over with.”

“So do I.”

“I need to know what happened to him.”

“I know. We’ll find out.”

---