Page 39 of The Eleventh Hour

This is insane. How is this possible? As if he can hear my thoughts, he bites my lower lip, and I forget my concerns. My hips rock against his hand. Faster and faster, he pushes another finger into me, and then a third. His growl is deep in my chest. His weight pins me to the wall, his hand moving faster and faster. Pleasure builds, tightening my core. I thrust back, needing more, wanting more, and then his thumb brushes my clit. I tear my mouth away from his, blind in the dark, my mouth parted in a silent scream. My body trembles, weak and boneless, in his arms.

Gideon holds me, not letting me go, forcing and wringing every shred of pleasure out of me. He pulls back and lets go of my hair. He steps away completely, and I’m alone in the dark.

My knees shake. I’m panting and trembling badly. What was that? I cry out, a soft whimper of noise. Don’t leave me, please, please, don’t leave me. My eyes sting, and my chest aches. I reach out, searching, seeking. His hand takes hold of mine, and he pulls towards the couch. He lays down and pulls me on top of him, and then he wraps his arms around me.

Don’t leave me. I silently beg. A finger traces a cross over my chest, and then he wraps his arms around me tighter and holds me while I let down my walls and allow myself to mourn the what ifs and the stupid, silly, insignificant life that used to be mine.

Don’t leave me, I silently plead over and over throughout the long dark night. His answer is always the same.

Cross my heart.

Jax

She reaches for me, and I can feel the warmth of her hand as it cradles my cheek. I can’t see her clearly. The flickering halo rainbow makes it impossible to see her, but I’d know her anywhere.

“Mum?”

“It’s all wrong now, baby, and it’s gonna get worse.” She sounds just like she did the last time I saw her. I’m relieved that I haven’t forgotten the sound of her voice.

“What’s going on? How can it be worse? You’re here with me, it's fine now.”

“I can’t stay, baby. But I’m here. I’m always here. But it’s all out of order.”

“Out of order? What are you talking about?”

“It's wrong, baby, so wrong. It’s gonna be so bad now. So bad, but I know you got this. Do you remember what I told you?”

I frown and try to remember. The last conversation we had, she sat at the table with a bottle of vodka, mascara running down her face, mixing with the bruise on her cheek. I remember her words clear as day. “You told me that love is blind.”

She slams forward, and her eyes bulge out of her head with a pop that makes me scream. Her lips split, and her tongue pokes out, black and dripping strands of green saliva. “YES!” She bellows, her greasy hair whipping around her. Fingers bite into my chin, breaking the skin. “LOVE IS BLIND. NOW WAKE UP!”

I sit up, panting, a scream of terror lodged in my throat. The sheets are wrapped around my legs, and sweat is running down my chest, tickling the spot between my breasts. I can’t stand it. I rub my t-shirt against the area, palming my sternum, trying to calm the galloping in my chest.

Gideon stands in the closet, and I stumble over to him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me deeper, and the door slams behind me. I shake and shiver in his arms until the nightmare starts to drift away.

It’s only then that I hear the movement in the lounge room. I cock my head, listening, and slowly reach from the baseball bat I keep.

“What the hell, Jax.”

I know that voice. I give Gideon a reluctant squeeze, and then I slide out of the closet, pad across the room, and open my bedroom door.

“River, how the hell did you get a key to my apartment?”

River doesn’t even look at me. He just turns in the chaos of my self-destruction and pulls a disgusted face. He doesn’t even move out of the small circle of clear space he’s stolen, just turns as his eyes take in all my self-loathing. He looks so out of place with his leather jacket and tight, clean jeans. He looks immaculate, expensive, and so far from home . My place and I look like a cheap dump in comparison, though I find it hard to muster the will to care.

“Are you trying to get kicked out?”

I sit on the couch and lean my head back. I don’t have the energy for this. “What are you doing here?”

“It's been a week. Let’s meet up, River. Sure, Jax, let’s do afternoon tea.” The high falsetto he uses for me earns him a wiggle of my middle finger. “Then a text message. Sorry, need to reschedule, and nothing…for an entire week. You just vanish into the wind.”

I close my eyes. “I’ve been sick.”

“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit on your pity party.”

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re a pain in the ass.”

“Yeah, you did, all the time. Now, get up, shower, and get dressed. We’re going out. I’m calling Dad to send Mrs Winchester over.”

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